Networking isn’t as easy as just showing up to an event and handing out business cards. Networking is an art. It's not Net-eat, net-shove-business -cards, net-relax, it's netWORK.
As president of the Chateau Elan networking group, I've seen individuals of all ranges with varying ranges of success. Here are 5 tips that I have found in the more successful networkers.
1. Wait for the right window of opportunity to share your information.
Show an interest in others first and then when the focus turns to you, share your business card and business goals. When someone walks in handing out business cards indiscriminately, it’s tantamount to “network spamming.” In our networking group, we have a question, "How Can I help you with your business?" As the person thinks, it in turn makes them want to ask you... about your business.
2. Networking is about looking for opportunities to give.
Anyone is capable of great networking through good listening and caring about others’ success. Furthermore, everyone has a wealth of resources to offer. If your first goal is to be a valuable resource to others, the networking karma will be returned many times over.
Furthermore, giving opportunities to others in a group setting gives you credibility and visibility. Coincidentally, that should be your goal in a closed networking group - that is to build those two as fast as you can.
3. Become adept at gathering information.
After you have built relationships with your contacts, it’s time to share your business needs. Be as specific as possible when asking for leads, referrals or information. Specific requests glean the best results. It’s also helpful to provide examples of how you have helped a client. Always acknowledge any kind of help you receive and ask how you can return the favor.
Also be specific about your goals. Ask for 3 referrals, or ask for a referral after certain events take place, like after a home purchase.
4. Be Specific about what you want
A reference I use, is ask for the 1996 red honda civic. You have to be very specific or else people will not be able to access their mental database or their "reticular activator" in order to help you.
If you've ever gone shopping for a car and thought that no one owned the car. After you bought the vehicle you realized that everyone has the same car. It's same principle. Jeff Pickering has a great explanation here.
5. Find your comfort zone.
Networking is a contact sport, but you don't have to fear being "ran over." Most reasonable people understand that you're there to get more business just like they are. Re-read number 2. The best ice-breakers are ones where you are asking questions about others. Also, you can ask for advice on how you might communicate your needs more effectively - people love to give advice and in turn they are learning about your business.
To reap the benefits of networking you must be a farmer. That means not only having a giving heart and sowing seeds, but it also means nurturing the relationships (like tending the fields). Remember, you can't get the fruit of your labor sometimes unless you wait for it!
Good Luck!
Paddy's Irish Pub was officially commissioned in Dublin in 1997 by Château Élan Winery & Resort founders, Dr. Donald and Nancy Panoz. Cantrell & Crowley, a Dublin based architectural and interior design firm designed and built the pub. 
