Today I had the opportunity to take a young single mom out looking for a new home for herself and her two young sons. She is not in a position to spend a lot of money. She can only spend around $200,000. I did some searching and found a bank owned property.
Now, the fellow that lived here did not leave the house in great shape. As we went from room to room, it was apparent that a major clean up was necessary. The house was filled with trash. We walked around a bit and she was encouraged that beyond the mess, there were possibilities. The yard was large and fenced and perfect for her sons. We stood on the front stoop and looked up and down the street. She mentioned the neighborhood had a nice feel to it.
I walked her to her car and she said "I am going to call the lender and see if we can make this work." She got in and drove down the street. She had not reached the corner when I reached her on the phone.
"I think you should drive back. There is something I just noticed across the street. "
She turned around and drove back to where I was standing. She got out of her car and walked over to me. I pointed to the item attached to the fence across the street. She looked and shook her head. The sorrow in her eyes represented a pain that is much deeper than her tender years should understand.
I said, "I will get back into the system and see what else there may be in your price range."
She just nodded her head and whispered "I don't want my boy's first home to be the place they have to learn about this. I hope that by the time they read the history books, they will need to go to a museum to see this sort of icon. Thanks for calling me back."
She got in her car and headed back down the street. I just stood and stared and wondered...how long?
I was staring at one of the few symbols of hate that some people think is appropriate.
It isn't.
She called me tonight. She said "It was a good day. I would feel much worse if I bought the house and discovered that sort of person lived across the street later."
Right now..............that empty bank owned property will remain his neighbor. Maybe that is a good thing.
We live in a free country. I personally think that revering a way of life that thrived on inhumanity is very close to pathological deviance. I do not find the pockets of "good ole boys" that exist in every area to be anything other than proof that the illnesses that pervade society are home grown. I think that displaying the confederate flag as some form of solidarity with the believers in the confederacy is aberrant behavior. It is no more a symbol of the old south than the broken cross is a symbol of old Germany. Neither should be found anywhere other than a museum.
I am really glad I noticed the flag. I am even happier that I called her back.
She will find the right home. The fellow across the street, well if nothing else, there is comfort in knowing he will forever have to live with himself.
It is fitting that at today's end a person of color has won a presidential primary as a member of a major party.
Old soldiers never die. Thankfully, they just fade away.
Post a comment
Temporarily disabled — coming soon!
ActiveRain Corp. is not responsible for the accuracy of the site's content (which is written by members of the ActiveRain Real Estate Network) and does not endorse the views of the real estate agents, mortgage brokers, and others listed here.
Powered by the ActiveRain Real Estate Network
© 2008 ActiveRain Corp. All Rights Reserved
John - As a native Texan, I have lived in the south my entire life. I am also appalled by the displaying of this flag and what it represents. You are a good man, and you did the right thing. I pray that you will continue to reap the benefits of your ethical business dealings.
As a minority living in the south I can tell you that racism is alive and well. The flying of the confederate flag is abundant in this city and state. I cannot count the number of times I have seen it. At NASCAR events it is prevalent as well. I do not know the mindset of those who display such things but I can tell you that I do not agree with it either. I can only hope that they can understand how they affect others with their pride in such things. Maybe their point is to offend others. Either way, I think that is a symbol of the past that is not relevant today unless you believe in those principles associated with the symbol.
Jason - Sleeping the night through is easy if you remain true to your core values. I already reaped the benefits knowing that her two sons have a mom that understands the importance of finding the right environment for them.
Ulises - There are no priciples associated with the symbol. There is only hate. Hate has no place in the South. Hate has no place in the North. Hate has no place no place in the East. Hate has no place in the West. Hate has no place in a free society. One day, you will only remember the time when a society tolerated the public display of ignorance and evil.
I, like you, look forward to that day.
John, I understand the significance of the confederate flag. I just don't see the symbol living in New Jersey, so your post was an eye-opener as to racism and intolerance. I'm also stoked by the Iowa caucus. Those folks do it right. They gather as a community and discuss the candidates. In New Jersey I would be arrested for electioneering at a public poll for even wearing a button. Some days it's not about real estate, but it's always about people. Well done.
Andrew - Thank you. I sometimes forget that some areas of the country do not have to suffer this group of fools. That being said, I have no doubt you don't have to go far to see symbols in your world. As you say, it is always about people.
That group of fools pops up everywhere. You have the fools, we have the fools. Many are not so blatant with their flags, but their actions betray them. Progress has been made, but there is still a lot of road ahead of us as humans. I imagine that day, and hope and pray our journey towards it picks up speed. Iowa gives me hope.
I too am stoked about the Iowa Coucus. I worry a bit that Obama is just TOO idealistic and that this could derail him from doing the things that he knows are right. But I certainly would rather see him than Hillary.
John, what an awful situation for that young woman. I know how tough it is in your market to find anything remotely affordable and then to see that terrible symbol of hate. Unfortunately, although it is more beneath the surface, prejudice is alive and well in my area as well. I remember having a listing presentation. She wanted to list with me provided I would keep "undesirables" out of her home - even though she was moving, she wanted the neighborhood to "stay the same." I thanked her for her time and told her that I was not interested in her listing and that BY LAW no agent could do what she was requesting. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Alive and well, just not as in your face! Trouble is when its not in your face its even more insidious.
Well, I am a Yankee from ancestrial lines, it somewhat bothers me as well. I am happy to read your post and you made me think on this day, Be well. Lance
I'm not fond of the confederate flag and what it stands for either. However..... What happens if your client finds a house in a very nice and "unflagged" neighborhood, buys it, and then has someone move in next door or across the street that was not to her liking. Then what?
JOHN - You did the right thing. You didn't tell her what to do, or how to feel, you just pointed out something that you thought that she should know. It's so sad that this still exists today, but unfortunately, it does, and it's not limited to the deep south. I've had plenty of dealings with racist clients, and racist homeowners that weren't even my clients (ones that have given me dirty looks for showing the home next to theirs to people that they don't find worthy). Thank you for being one of the good guys, John.
I find this kind of puzzling. I think I would have knocked on that neighbor's door and met the person behind the flag, just to know more about the situation. Maybe it's not as bad as you think. Good luck finding your client the right home.
John-this is such a tough call. You did what makes sense to the majority of us and most importantly to you and for your client. You are to be commended as always for being an upfront and ethical guy.
You are a true gentleman, and a credit to our industry. If you are ever in FRBG VA, give me a buzz and I'll buy you a cold beer.
Elaine - The world becomes smaller everyday. Regardless of the efforts of some leaders, people are becoming more aware of what we have in common and what our differences may be. One day, fear will fade and we shall all face the challenges before us together.
Ruthmarie - I always hope that which is hidden from me is done so because of a modicum of shame. I have no doubt that things are better today than they were 20 years ago. The goal was not to become better, no, the goal is to become best. The younger, in your face, crowd has obfuscated the desparate need for change. It will come.
Lance - It is good to pause and ponder. Ancestral lineage may give one a history but we are all free to choose the path we take in the future.
Nancy - None of us can control what others do. We can carefully select where we live. If others move in later, then that situation will be dealt with then. You see, on the surface, it may appear that the end result is the same, but it is not. You choose where you live, you can not choose whom decides to live with you.
Adam - I am grateful that you and other young agents apparently have the courage of conviction and will make tomorrow a better day.
Georgina - I suppose I could have done that. I chose not to do that. The public display of the flag told me all I needed to know about the homeowner. I could chat them up but I learned long ago, you can not fix stupid.
John, I think you did the right thing for your client, but the bashing that is going on here is a bit tough for me to take. I had relatives that fought and died on both sides of the Civil War. I live in the south (obviously, GA is the south...) and I grew up in both the north and south (VA, MI, NY, and MN).
I am saddened to see the Confederate Flag subverted to mean only hate. I don't think it has a place on the state flag of any of the states that I am familiar with, but not because it symbolizes hate by it's history as a direct symbol of the Civil War, but because the placement of the "stars and bars" on most of the flags of states that adopted it was in response to the Supreme Courts decision to integrate schools in 1954... it was placed there for the wrong reason. Had it actually been about honoring the people that fought and died for the Confederacy, it might be a different thing.
I could write a lot more about the Civil War, but I'll leave it at these two points...
Next up; racism, bigotry, hate and prejudice all have separate and distinct meanings. For most that choose to display it, the stars and bars are not about racism as much as they are about hatred and bigotry. As such, the VAST majority of people that choose to display the Confederate Battle Flag are displaying their bigotry.
But, should we say the same things about the Union Jack (that would be the British Flag)? When we fought for our independence from English rule, they were suppressing our freedoms as well. This entire country was seen as nothing more than an asset to be exploited for the good of the Crown. We were not allowed the freedoms of speech, press, assembly, nor the right to vote... just read the Bill of Rights... we didn't have most of those.
I'm certainly not writing to support the display of the stars and bars (which, BTW, is NOT the Confederate Flag), but rather to say that it may stand for more than hatred for some of those that do choose to display it. And, while I couldn't possibly condone slavery as a practice (I find the thought of ownership of a person to be despicable), the Confederacy was not the first or last region to have such principles, and the Union was not exactly fighting the good fight for purposes of racial equality or ethical treatment of their fellow human beings.
**I own swords from both sides of the Civil War (family heirlooms), as well as a bunch of currency from various parts of the Confederacy (banking was not a strong suit)... but that is the limit of my icons connected to the Civil War. I do not own anything with the stars and bars, and obviously don't display anything with that symbol.**
I ran into the same thing in a northern county some time ago. I had a mixed couple, he active duty military and she British.
Sooner or later, all of the bigots will just die out. But, goodness it's taking a long time.
Yes, racism is alive and well in this area.
Hi John - what a great thing you did for that lady and her son when you spotted that flag. I rarely see that flag up here but I do see it in plenty of places when I go down south to visit family where I'm from. I don't think I'd ever thought about it as being what you wrote about, and what Lane wrote about in his comment. I will certainly now see it in a whole new light when I see that flag being flown. I just always thought it was a bunch of rednecks who had that flag up.....never realized it signified racism. Thank you for pointing that out.
I found your post through the link Andrew has on his post to yours - I'm glad I came by to read your post.
Ann
What does the Confederate flag stand for?
I just love what you did for her!
As to the symbolism itself, you said it all. It occurs to me that the owner of the flag may be ignorant of even more than the hatred that lingers in it's shadow. I once dated a guy for a couple of months before ever entering his residence. When I did, I was terrified to see his walls covered with nazi paraphernalia. It was obviously an obsession, but one that never, ever leaked out prior to that moment. Needless to say, I called a cab. He never understood how it could be a big deal. Ignorance.
Love this post John!!
Cindy - Thank you for the compliment. Truth be told, I often find my feet are made of clay. It is easy to post the victorys. I shall attempt to balance the act this year and reveal the times that I fail to measure up.
Kevin - thanks, the industry is today. I try to make the man the same or better wherever I might be.
Lane - I appreciate your comments. I also understand that your perspective may be different than one held by an African American that has grown up in the south. A great deal of time has passed since the Civil War, and like most wars, the majority of the history has been written by the victors.
The flag in question flew over the only army that led an armed insurrection against the United States of America. It was an unfortunate set of facts that forced the Supreme Court to rule in Brown v. Board of Education. The policies of southern states regarding the education of minorities forced their hand. I think most people aware of the conditions in our schools today would agree that the visual and actual integration of schools has not improved the learning conditions for minorities.
The power is held by the enfranchised that actually exercise that power. Our inner cities do not have the political clout to create change.
I do not see the valid comparison with the Union Jack. Yes, we did battle and win our independence. Their flag remains the flag of another country. The confederate flag does not represent any country. It was flown by members of an insurrection that fortunately failed.
In the years since Lee surrendered, battle crys have resounded from honky tonks throughout the south. "The south will rise again"...."Surrender Hell" ad infinitum. The flag was prominently displayed by our original home grown terrorist organization the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. Terrorist behavior against negroes and those sympathetic with the plight of the oppressed occured often before the Civil Rights Act was passed and they continue to flair up. You are right...the flag is usually exhibited by someone that lives in the perpetual fear that equality may precluded their success. Fear is at the root of hatred, bigotry and racism. The flag is flown as an affront to anyone that believes in equality for all.
I respect the history of our past. I understand holding memories dear. I can not support nor condone using that history or those memories as a weapon against those that wish to live in a free society.
Lenn - May we live to see the day.
Ann - Now that was thoughtful of Andrew. Thanks for following the link. It is easy for us to pass by what we do not understand. With understanding comes the responsibility to act. I appreciate you comment.
Ken - You will receive many variations on that question. To many in the south, it is nothing more than a symbol of southern pride. It is slapped on hats, coffee cups, shot glasses, license plates, t-shirts and so on. This is probably due to the fact that many in the south view the civil war in a different light than those that were educated in the north, civil rights activist and many African Americans.
The meaning of the flag will be closely tied to what the individual associates with the flag. In that fashion, it is no different than the stars and stripes. Our national flag means different things to different people. In our country many revere it. In other nations it represents imperialistic power or military occupation.
The confederate flag is tied closely to the insurrection that led to the civil war. It was flown by the side that wanted to maintain the right to own slaves. It was flown by the side that continued lynchings and rapes and murders long after the war ended. It is a painful reminder that at one time, a Negro was not a man.
It has since flown over towns that operated under Jim Crow rules. It was flying high when Bull Conner did his best to crush the civil rights movement. It was flying high over Lester Faubus as he stood in front of school buses wielding an axe handle. It was flying high over George Wallace as he denounced the federal edict that segregation must end. It was flying high in Philadelphia, Mississippi when young college students were brutally murdered. It has never flown over anything remotely related to any of the freedoms we are guaranteed.
Denouncement of the flag began to lose favor when it became a matter of something being politically correct. Liberals always find a label for things they don't like. I prefer to just say that flying a painful reminder of days gone by is just plain mean spirited. It may be a sign that the person is a racist. It may be a sign that the person is bigoted. It may be a sign that the person is a proud southerner. What ever it means to the person flying it does nothing to dissuade the feeling felt by those that see it.
What does the confederate flag stand for? It is just my opinion but I think it stands for an ignorant, elitist group of people that believe white is might. I think it stands for intolerance. I think it stands for white superiority. I think it stands for all the things I hope our country leaves behind as it enters yet a brighter day when all men are treated equally.
Jennifer - thanks for reading. I'm glad you caught the cab. I appreciate you stopping by.
Powerful Post John! It's unreal to me that our Culture will probably never truly let hatred die. I must say, that phone call is probably one that neither you or your client will ever forget.
John, I am so glad Andrew listed this on his post for his readers to see. This is a great post with even a deeper meaning. I was born and raised in Miami.. yes it is the south but not really..I hear what people say who support the flag but I really don't get it when they say heritage.. What heritage hate? Murder? Racism? I feel you really did the right thing especially for the woman's children. I am with your client their first home should not have to be faced with this.
A well written post about a subject I hope will be obsolete some day soon. Will Barak be the one to make us see that race is not a difference to note any more than religion or eye color?
John,
I just discovered your blog and have to say that I am moved by most of what you write. You are on target and very observant. I am going to spend some time next week going back through your history to see what other good things you have had to say.q
Not all of us see the Confederate battle flag as a symbol of hate.
I see it as a symbol of a part of my heritage. I have ancestors and fought and died under that flag for what they believed in at the time.
I served but luckily, didn't die under this flag.
I do hate people subverting the flag to their purposes of bigotry and hate.
THIS, is the last official flag of the Confederate States of America. The flag you displayed in your posting is the battle flag.
I have not read the previous comments, so forgive me if my point is redundant. I often hear the rationale that displaying the Confederate flag harkens to a display of history and pride, not racism. Which begs the question. Would people who cling to this argument feel the same about a German's display of the flag that was in vogue around, say, 1940? Find a different way to display your pride that is not a painful reminder of a barbaric past to an entire group of citizens.
Maye you didn't read my comment very well either.
I didn't say anything about personally displaying the flag; only what it symbolized to me.
My Confederate ancestors didn't own any slaves; in fact I don't think anyone else around the part of North Alabama they lived in did either.
There were lots of reasons for the Civil War; slavery was only one of them.
Who said I was addressing you, Jim? My comment had absolutely nothing to do with yours. As I clearly stated, I did not read the comments before mine. I provided my opinion on the subject matter of the post, nothing more.
Jason - And there was a time when the flag flying in a neighborhood would not be an aberration. There was a time that the woman would never have considered that neighborhood. There was a time when a woman in her situation would not have the means to buy a house.
Today is a better day and we can all look forward to tomorrow.
Matthew - I wondered where everyone came from. Andrew is a devious sort of fellow. Nice boy, good up bringing, but devious.
Thank you for bringing up the most salient point that flies in the face of any defense of flying the stars and bars.
Bonnie - If he does not reach the "promised land", I believe he has been to the mountain top. Surely, once again, we have to hope to reach the other side.
Martin - Thank you for coming by. Please read , evaluate and share your thoughts. Your blog is quite nice.
Jim - I have friends that immigrated here from Germany. I don't recall them pointing out the broken cross as a symbol of their heritage. It represented a group of people that took over a country and performed horrible, evil acts. The same can be said for many that lived in the south. They were not all bad people, but it is a strange icon of heritage when it represents so many negative things to so many people. Wouldn't it be better to hold on to moon pies and r.c. cola and peaches?
Paul - well, finally someone elses fingers tap out my message.
Jim - I have tried to keep the focus. Once again, I hear, slavery was not the only cause of the civil war. OK, so what? It was one of the reasons. Slavery did exist and was sanctioned in the confederacy. Everyone can say, maybe so but not in my family. We never owned slaves and none of our neighbors did either.
Bull. You want to keep living in that past, then you have to accept the cumulative guilt for the actions of those that created the heritage you are clinging. If there were 25 reasons behind the war and slavery was just one of them, slavery was enough. If there were 100 reasons behind the war and slavery was just one of them, slavery was enough.
It was wrong. It was condoned. It was condoned in states that succeeded from the union and fought under the confederate flag. It was condoned by the only group to lead an armed insurrection against this country. It is our history, it need not be remembered fondly as our heritage.
It is obvious that many people are offended by the flag. That alone should be enough impetus to have it's public display come to an end.
Should we not fly the American flag either then?
After all, it flew over a nation that allowed slavery much longer than the Confederacy even existed, and slavery was still legal in the northern "united" states during the Civil War, while it was outlawed in the southern "confederate" states. No slaves wee ever brought to the US under the Confederate flag, and slavery was started by merchants in northern states only the US flag, and moved to the southern states, still under the US flag when it was found to be more profitable in that region.
Native Americans were murdered under the American flag, for the purposes of expanding the territory of the United States by genocide, and the famous murders of the "Civil Rights Era" in the 1960s took place under the American flag. By the way, there are many ignorant people who try to link the Confederate flag with the KKK, but if you do some research, you'll find that the official flag used, and sworn to, in Ku Klux Klan meetings is the American flag.
Before anyone reads this to say I'm anti-American, I am not, I'm just pointing out how so many people condemn the Confederate battle flag while ignoring the same inconvenient truths about the United States flag. I can see why people would like to be known for condemning hatred and bigotry, but I would appreciate it if more could do so without expressing such bigotry for the South and it's people, and such hatred for my ancestors and others who fought and died for their heritage and right to self rule, NOT for slavery [most slave owners were rich enough to hire others to fight in their place, the Confederate soldiers were typically poor southern whites and blacks, and in some cases new immigrants to America].
Raine - You are correct about the Emancipation Proclamation only freeing the slaves in the states that banded together in the armed insurrection against the United States. . Of course, it was written in that fashion because no one in the area that banded together to put down the insurrection owned any slaves. You are correct in your statement that slaves were brought into country before the armed insurrection.
The confederate flag was the banner of the only group that has ever attempted an insurrection. They are remembered fondly for fighting for the right to self rule. That is a convenient way of over looking that the issue that they wanted to keep under self rule was slavery. The armed forces of the United States did the secessionist a favor by thrashing them soundly. If the north had merely blockaded the ports and refused all trade, your revered southerners would have starved to death.
It is very easy just to lump the faults of this nation in one pile and say "look what was done under your flag". The genocide that occurred in our dealings with Native Americans is a terrible blight on our history. It is nothing that anyone is points to with pride. It did occur under the stars and stripes and we collectively have to accept responsibility for it.
The actions of southerners in the 1960's were not sanctioned by the Federal Government. They were the renegade actions of Governors, police officials, and citizens operating under the impression that they had the right to determine who had the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The shame of that behavior is completely on those that lived in the south. The fact that many of the actions occurred while the stars and bars flew nearby is one of the reasons the flag is an anathema to decent people in the north and the south. I do not know which flag the Ku Klux Klan is currently using in their meetings. I do know that under the sheets that is preferred accoutrement, many are wearing ball caps with the stars and bars logo sew neatly above the bill. They may hide their identity, they can not hide their ignorance nor can they deny their links to the sons of the confederacy.
I would not go out on a limb and accuse you of being anti-American. This is a free country and most people develop their understanding of right and wrong based on their family and the area of the country in which they are raised. You can put a dress on a pig. You can put lipstick on a pig. When all is said and done it is still a pig.
I would only hope that you would undertake the research that you encourage others to use and try to get an accurate portrayal of the true basis for the insurrection you remember so fondly. Then did into the viability of the southern states and their ability to exist on their own.
Your final assignment is to seek an understanding of the difference between the acts of one nation under God and hateful, bigoted acts of those that have left the foul taste in the mouths of so many Americans. There is a valid reason why the confederate flag is associated with hate.
Thank you for taking the time to share your opinion.