Father and Son Bonding

When you live with someone and see them everyday, you don't always notice the changes that others with an outside perspective may see, although on occasion you might.  Lately I've been noticing that my son has been trying to be like me as much as possible.  The most notable sign is that he likes to have us dress the same way, but I imagine that it runs much deeper than that. 

Whenever he does things that show that he wants to be like me, I can't help but think of the song "Cats In The Cradle" by Harry Chapin.  In the song, the son says to the father "I'm gonna be like you, Dad. You know I'm gonna be like you." 

I started writing this post a few weeks ago, but it felt like something was missing, so I decided to work on some other things and come back to it.  A few days ago, my son just so happened to start singing the chorus to "Cats In The Cradle," and asked if we could go and listen to it on YouTube.  This was surprising to me because I didn't even know that he knew the song.  However, I happily obliged because watching music videos on YouTube is something that we really enjoy doing together.  As we listened to the song, his eyes began to well up with tears.

This song always moves me when I hear it too.  I don't really relate to the true meaning of the song, because it's about a father that never had time for his son until he was older, and then the son didn't have time for the father as he got older and had responsibilities of his own.  The end of the song always saddens me, as the father says "And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me, he'd grown up just like me, my boy was just like me."  It's a sad lyric because the father has regrets about not being there enough for his son while he was growing up. 

However, the last line could also be considered positive for a father that did whatever he could for his children.  In that case, it would be a compliment.  I still have aspirations to be like my father (who passed away over six years ago).  It would make me proud for someone to tell me that I've grown up just like my father, and I appreciate the fact that my son feels the same way about me.

Since he was obviously moved by the song, I thought that it would be a good idea to explain the meaning behind it.  He's a very smart five-year old, and he understood what the song meant.  He asked if he's going to be like me when he grows up.  I asked if he wanted to, and he said "yes."  What more can you ask out of a son?  I told him that he probably will be, and that I am the way that I am because of my father.  In fact, one of the reasons that I decided to go into real estate was because I wanted to be there for my son the same way that my father was there for me. It wasn't possible to keep commuting into New York City and be like my father at the same time, so it was an easy decision to make.

Unfortunately, my son never got the chance to meet my father, but he has gotten to know him through the stories that I've told to him, so much so that he has often told me that he misses Poppy.  My father was always one to joke around with us and act silly.  It was one of the most endearing qualities that he had, and I've tried to carry the torch and be the same way with my kids. 

As my son sat on my lap in my office after learning the meaning behind "Cats In The Cradle," and reminiscing about Poppy, I wanted to play him another song that reminded me of my father.  It's a song by Jim Croce called "Time In A Bottle."  The song is even more moving than "Cats In The Cradle," but it also evokes laughter from me because I once heard my father singing along and he got the lyrics wrong.  Actually, it was one word that he got wrong, but it drastically changed the meaning of the song.

The lyric is actually "If I could save time in a bottle," but somehow my father thought that it was "If I could spend time in a bottle."  My son is too young to know the reference, but to this day, I can't help but think of I Dream Of Jeannie whenever I hear the song.  Well, the humor was not lost on him, but neither was the emotion of the song as we watched the video on YouTube.

In the video, Jim Croce is seen playing with his son.  It's a nostalgic home movie that fits the lyrics of the song perfectly.  Mature beyond his years, my son was unable to watch the video.  He sat on my lap and turned his head away to stare at the wall.  He told me that he couldn't look at the video.  By the time the song ended, tears were streaming down his cheeks.  He seemed to be embarrassed that he was moved to tears, but I found it to be an amazing testament to the caring, mature boy that he has become.  I hugged him the whole time and told him that it was ok to cry if he wanted to.

It was a moment that we'll probably both remember for a lifetime.