Do you mind if I take this call?

Today I had a midday cancellation.  Not to worry, it was at my daughter's orthodontist - no revenue lost, huge savings gained.  I quickly came up with an important plan of action to fill this gift of time.  One, go to the bank to straighten out that pesky password problem.  Check.  Stop for some carrot cake and tea.  Check.  Schedule the overdue oil change on my vehicle.  Wow!  My lucky day!  Could I come right in?

As I pulled into the facility and parked my mud-covered SUV  (I live off-road, really), full of signs and riders in the back, good shoes and paperwork in the front, I apologized to the attendant about the state of the vehicle.  He laughed as he typed the service order and said they'd run it through the car wash for me.  It was then that my phone rang.

I looked at the unfamiliar number and then at the service attendant and asked, "Do you mind if I take this call?"  "No, go right ahead."  I quickly got the individual's name and said I would call right back; I was in the midst of a transaction.

When I hung up, the service person looked at me with wonderment and said, "Thank you.  NOBODY asks permission to do that anymore!"  I was a little flustered by that remark and then realized all the times I was gestured at or sidelined by the ringing of a phone that must be answered RIGHT NOW.  What has happened to common sense and simple manners?

Disregarding the person in the flesh for the unknown on the phone is just plain rude.  If I am with a client when the phone rings, I usually just silence it.  If it rings again immediately, then I ask permission to answer - it must be important.  I feel the same way about call waiting.  Have I lost deals because of a five minute delay or a call going to voicemail?  Not that I know of.  Will I lose the respect of the person I alienate by answering that ringing phone?  Possibly.  Just say no.  Actually, don't say anything.  Turn the ringer off, smile, apologize.  It's going to be OK.