The Big Move

Transitioning to a new home is a daunting task for even the most seasoned transferee. Before, during and after the move, its even more traumatic for children. No matter the distance, from the onset, the concept is bewildering for all age groups.

Let's start with the move out of state as a result of a job promotion. Its best to engage the children from the very beginning. You don't want them to accidentally overhear a conversation about the matter. Couch the discussion in positive terms. State that one of the parents is being rewarded for a job well done. Be sure to emphasize the benefits to each of the children. Perhaps the new location will necessitate the teenager having his/her own car. Maybe the youngest child will have his/her own room. Perhaps a favorite sport is highly recognized in the new location because it's home to the reigning champions. Make sure you have a well prepared plan of delivery, to highlight these benefits.

Many relocation opportunities come with a Realtor in the new area, if not, have your existing Realtor provide you with a referral. Once you've identified the Realtor in the new community, have several properties of interest emailed to you. Take the time to sit down with the children and go over the floor plan and amenities. Allow the children to be apart of the process, it gives them an ownership stake. Additionally, involve the children in helping the parent(s) who will be doing the traveling back and forth before the move is finalized. Perhaps the younger children can help with packing for the business trip. The older child can make the evening call to find out how the day progressed. This is about the family and the children should be made a part of the process every step of the way. This is especially critical for the child who has never known any other home.

In the case of a local move, include the children in visits to prospective homes. Solicit their comments and thoughts. Ultimately the adults are making the decisions. However, the transition will be smoother if you go the extra mile and allow the children to participate. Remember to highlight the positives, as previously mentioned.

Finally, allow the children to be creative in maintaining contact with friends from the old neighborhood. You can use digital cameras and your printer to create postcards featuring each child in the new home. Encourage them to use these to communicate with their friends. Always allow for the occasional telephone call to their dearest friends. Additionally, contact the PTA at the new school to find out about activities the children can participate in, in and out of school. This provides the children with an opportunity to meet their new classmates and begin to develop new friendships.

Solicit the assistance of your new realtor, in hosting a gathering of neighbors. This will provide you with an opportunity to meet the parents of children you kids will befriend in the community.

The key to a successful move is prior planning to include all family members in the process.