There was something nagging me about the dates. The closing date especially. You see February 13th 2008 marks the 25th anniversary of my Mom's death. I lost her way too young. The world lost a shining light way too early and I lost the most powerful influence on my life when I was just 22 years old.
Sheila Helene Conway was a truly remarkable human being. Evacuated from London and Hitler’s bombs during the war as a kid, she fought cancer like a lion as an adult! In the face of treatment that was quite literally torture in those days, my Mom carried on raising me; carried on working in a law office and immigrated to Israel because that is where she wanted to die. Seven years she fought and despite feeling so terribly ill for all of that time, she had a smile on her face for most of it.
I get my strength of character from her; my will power; my love of my fellow man; my integrity; my ability to be the best parent I can possibly be, and perhaps my favorite - my ability to laugh at myself. All of that came from her. My dad supplied my sense of humor; my wit; my understanding of what "personal responsibility" actually means; and my ability to just do the right thing no matter what.
Brief anecdote: I remember - I guess it would have been about 1975 - when the first ATMs started to appear. I remember my Mom was so proud that she banked at Coutts - the same Bank the Queen uses! Anyway, my dad and I were parked across the street from the ATM while my Mom was trying to use it. She stops, turned towards us and literally screamed across the street "WHAT'S MY SECRET NUMBER?" to my dad!! Pretty funny.
Sometimes life is so unfair you know. My mom never met my kids. What a truly wonderful grandma she would have made. She never saw me start my own business when I was 23. She never saw me make a huge success of it. She has missed more of my life now than she was alive for. I find that almost impossible to believe, but it's true.
And so to music. What a wonderful evening I've had. Today was my daughters' 17th birthday. I blogged about it before, but if you're really interested then you can go find it for yourself. Pride; Sadness; a few tears (yep, I'm that kind of man). Anyway, for some reason I started playing my mom's favorite album. Carole King's Tapestry is still all these years later just a timeless piece of music that means so much to so many.
To me, it connects me with my mom in a way no other piece of music can. "You've got a friend" makes me think that somehow she is still watching over me while "So far away" makes me truly understand how long it is since I have seen her.
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
Oh, how I wish I could
But you're so far away
So so true in my case. But then there are these two lines which kinda nail it for me.
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're so far away
So there you have it. Two songs that inspire me. Two songs that make me think of my mom in this strangest of all months for me. My daughter's birthday comes first. Then the anniversary of my mom's death. A mere week later, the anniversary of her birth and six days after that, the anniversary of my dad's birth - he has now joined her - about three years ago now.
Whether the story interests you or not, the songs are simply wonderful. Enjoy.
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(Copyright © 2008 By Simon L Conway All Rights Reserved.)
Please give me a call if you have questions about the Central Florida real estate market. You can reach me on 407 876 8200. Also visit my web site at www.simonconway.net or www.move2orlando.net
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Simon, very touching post. Songs can provoke very strong emotions and bring vivid recollections to mind. "doesn't anyone stay in one place anymore...................."
Matt - thanks for coming by. I wear my heart on my sleeve in these things and it makes me kinda proud that the first comment was also from a man! :)
Simon - How could anyone who reads your posts not be interested in the story - it is so much a part of you and what shaped you and your view of the world.
The human mind is a wonderful thing. No matter how much grief is involved in the loss of a loved one, eventually the memories bring a smile rather than a tear as we remember the happy times or the cherished memories.
When you share those memories with your children or even with your friends at AR, you give your Mother a measure of immortality and you increase the mark she left on the world.
So long as you continue to think of her as you do, she is not missing the events of your life - she is right here beside you - taking pride in your achievments and cheering you on when you face difficulties.
And now you know that all your friends with whom you have shared these memories will also be there with you. And Happy Birthday Mom and Dad.
Simon - Bless your heart, no one should be without their mom so young. I also associate so much with music and I totally understand what you are saying. Sweet post and great music! Take care!
Simon, you have a beautiful heart. Your mother is no longer with you physically but she lives within each beat. The love you feel for your daughter is the love your mom has for you. There is nothing stronger and death does not break that bond. Your tribute is lovely and I know your mom is proud of you. Deb
TED - you've got mail! Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
JENNIFER: It's funny when you're going through it - I didn't feel young. I actually had to be the strength for my dad at the time. Now I know how young I truly was.
DEB - what can I say. You always leave such kind messages on my blogs. Thank you sweetie.
Simon - what a beautiful tribute to your parents. I can relate to the feeling of loss as both my folks are gone also. I miss them every day of my life. But I cherish their memory and thank God that they gave me some priceless traits that, as a kid, I thought were kind of quirky.
And.....both those Carole King songs are favorites of mine. For many, many years.
Happy Birthday to your daughter! She's a young lady now - better look out Dad!
CAROL - thanks for your kind words. I've been watching out for my daughters (the other one is almost 19) for a long time now. The boys that come sniffing around know me very well!!
Simon - My mom is one of my very best friends, and I feel truly blessed to have her. This was a very special post, and I applaud you for writing it. I love Carole King's music and "Tapestry" is a true classic.
This one ripped my heart out, Simon. As you adeptly proved, love songs can take on many forms. Thank you for sharing this, and my sincere condolences. It may have been long ago, but are such things ever left in the past?
It's 1.21am as I write this comment. It's been a strange day for me. I didn't know it would take the course it has. I have no wish to go to bed yet. My mind is all over the place. So proud of my "baby" as I still call my now 17-year-old daughter. So sad that she never met my Mom. Thinking of the memories of my mom. Weird but 1963 when I was just three years old - walking to kindergarten down the very center of our street in the heart of London because the snow was too deep on the sidewalks. I can feel my tiny hand in hers. I received e-mail from a friend tonight who pointed out that if he and I had been in the same room, we'd have probably had a beer or eight. I had no intention of writing this today. None. It just kind of poured out of me when I started listening to Tapestry as I prepared for my radio show tomorrow.
JASON - I am so pleased with your description of your mom. Your very best friend. Thanks for your comments.
PAUL - I thank you for your condolences and I truly didn't mean to rip anyone's heart out tonight - least of all my own.
Simon its 5 oclock still havent been able to get to sleep so I don,t have anything witty to say but that was beautiful
Simon- I grew up listening to Carol King sometimes and love these songs! I feel your loss so acutely from your words. I am sure her wonderful spirit is alive and well in you and gives you added heart. What a wonderful tribute. Well Done!
HUGH - I hear you buddy. Nothing witty is required.
VANESSA - thank you for your kind words.
Hello Simon - your beautiful tribute to your Mom and that wonderful song brought tears to my eyes. I can soooo relate to your post as I lost my Mom over 10 years ago and I mourn my brothers children never having met her ( Jeff & I try to "substitute" by attending Grandparents Day and other school events). But how proud she would be of your writing and sharing her loving spirit (and funny remarks about the Atm) with us! And those same qualities are obviously passed on in you :)
Sincerely,
Grace
GRACE - thank you for your kind words. And your Mom would be proud of what you are doing for your brother's kids.
BILL - there you go again - winning friends and influencing people! Just j/k buddy. I appreciate your comments from someone who knows.
Simon...I have to say that you had me , with tears in my eyes by line 3 ! What an amazing story ! Your mother was a woman of character, strength and with such grace. Please know your mom is there ! She has watched you start your business, she has watched you grow into a mature, loving and giving man. She was there the day her grandchildren were born and a piece of her will always live inside of them. She is very proud of you...and she taught you so well.
Simon: What an wonderful story about your mom, an amazing woman. The music that you selected was perfect and I know that your mom your angel and is SO very proud of you and your accomplishments! Thank you for sharing such a touching story, Simon.
Simon, I didn't see this until it was mentioned in the contest winner's post. And to be truthful, it came at a perfect time for me. Here I sit, just recently done complaining to my husband about how he invited my parents over for dinner tonight after I had a really long day and a tough settlement to deal with early this evening. I told him that I wish he would ask me before inviting them, how I was just not in the mood to deal with them. I felt bad, but I felt more sorry for myself for having a rotten day and just wanting to come home and have a glass of wine in my nice quiet home.
I realize now how selfish of me that was. My husband's mother passed away several years ago, and he is very close to my parents. When I asked him why he invited them, he told me he felt sorry for them and though they'd like to get out of the house. My first thought was "I just saw them last week!" Again, how selfish of me, and it took this post to give me a wake up call. I'm sure the least I can do is have dinner with them, as I know they won't be here forever. Now, I need to go an apologize to my husband and tell him what a great son-in-law and husband he is. Thank you, for that. And thank you, for sharing such a personal post.
Congrations on winning this contest. This is a beautfiul story and I am sure that you and your daughters are enriched by your mom and dad. I love Carole King. She has so much insight and the voice of an angel .. just like your MOM!
Congratulations on a very moving and heartfelt post. I'm very fortunate to still have my mom, although sometimes I take it for granted, I'm ashamed to say. You've chosen great songs; thanks for sharing your story.
As I told you all in my post - and thank you so much for the honor of winning - my Mom fought this terrible disease with a smile on her face for most of the seven years she had it - despite the tortuous treatment she had to endure.
The picture was taken on Herzlia Beach - a small town about 15 minutes north of Tel Aviv in Israel on the Mediterranean coast.
Thank you to all who have commented and have not yet received replies - I promise each and every one of you a special comment from me. Oh and for those who don't know the music - I urge you to go out and buy this CD (I almost said "LP")!
Simon, what a touching story. That album was a huge part of my life as well, I still have the album )(yes, the record!). I am so sorry for your loss.
MELISSA - such kind words. My mom would have liked you a lot! :)
DEBE - there are certainly days when I feel her close by. Actually I feel bad for my daughters. They missed out big time on not having her as their grandma.
JEANNIE - We do tend to take for granted that which we have. But don't be so hard on yourself. It is completely normal.
JOAN - thank you!
LISA - thanks for stopping by. I can tell you that there is seldom a week that goes by when I don't think about my Mom.
DIANE - Thank you for your good wishes. Aurit.... Sounds Israeli to me?????
Simon, I just found this post. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write my comment. I have to agree with Melissa Grant's comment. She's always been there for you.
I lost my Mom when I was 24 very suddenly -- she was much too young and so was I and my younger brother. I still miss her -- think of her every day. She has 9 grandchildren who never got to know her. And now, has 9 great-grandchildren with many more to come! :) And, yes, there's a favorite song of hers that tears me apart everytime I hear it. I can hear her singing it to my younger brother as she rocked him to sleep -- Silent Night.
Simon, your post has me bawling like a baby...my mother died suddenly of a brain tumor when I was 17. I have felt everything you mentioned feeling. While Carol King was not my mom's favorite -- I especially remember her enjoying Blue Velvet -- but I loved Carol King's wonderful music.
As we remember our parents we keep them alive. I especially make it a point to talk to my grandson about my times with my mother and what she was like.
Simon - What a wonderful tribute to your mother and her memory. I know the pain to losing your mother and not having her join you in raising your children through their infant, toddler, elementary, junior high, high school and marrying years....I have no doubt that she is watching with her incredible smile. She is no doubt proud of you and your successes as well. Thank you for the warm feeling with sharing a story to help us know you on a more personal note. I enjoyed it so much. This is one of my all time favorite songs and albums (LP's).... Congratulations on the contest win. Greetings from Arizona
JUDI - this post of mine seems to have touched a lot of people. Those of us who lost our mums so early share each other's pain in a way that those of us who still have their mums can quite probably simply not understand. Funny - I can both see and hear your mum singing Silent Night now.
ALISA - that is indeed how we keep them alive
Simon - I realize I'm a little late in getting to some of these posts. I can't believe I missed this when you posted it. This is truly an incredible tribute to an amazing woman. I lost my father a few years ago to heart disease (and Alzheimer's) and though I still have my mother, she has terminal kidney failure. Even though my dad has passed away I can still feel his presence... I know that he's still with us just as your mom is still with you. She may not have lived to see your successes in life; professionally or personally but I'm willing to bet she sees all you've accomplished and is immensely proud of you. God bless, Simon.
Consdiering what tomorrow is, I wanted to bring this post back. I still think of you every day mum.