Getting in the head of the mindless and lazy Realtor®

I always wondered what it would be like to read peoples minds. I figure that if I could do that I would always be able to take care of any problem or solution before it's too late.

So today..... I decided to take a little trip today and get inside the head of the mindless Realtor®.

I wonder what kinds of interesting adventures I would come across.

Since I consider myself a pretty good Realtor®. I always wondered about how the bad ones can just sit back and conduct business the way they do. Is it where they came from? Is it that they are just too laid back? Is it that they are really stupid? Or is it that they just don't care and would rather throw a dart up against the wall and see if it sticks and then worry about the problems later.

I just can't understand why some of the agents would actually want the world to know that they are a licensed Realtor®. If they don't want to help and guide their clients in the right direction then I would think that they really don't want to go out and get business anyway...maybe they are just hoping that there will become the owner of a company and just have a title and do absolutely nothing.

I thought it would be amusing to me to write down all the things that were important to me and my business but wanted to think like some of those lazy putzes..... instead of thinking like the professional we all should be like.

• I don't need a mind in this business and I don't need to do any work...why should I? .....I'll let the other agent do everything.
• I'll take a referral for $1,000,000 all cash deal but I won't do anything during the transaction accept to find out why my check wasn't ready in time for me to leave to go on vacation.
• I refuse to take less than a 365 day vacation...please understand that my time is money and the clock is ticking right now.
• I won't return calls.
• I won't answer my phone.
• I expect my office to call me every morning with a wake up call so I can get up and go to the bathroom and then go back to sleep.
• I won't clean out my voice-mail so this way I don't have to worry about anyone leaving me an important message.
• I won't return emails...as a matter of fact...when I advertise I will put a fake email address in my tag so this way it will always come back as undeliverable.
• I refuse to show my clients any property let alone what they want to see.
• I expect another agent to show my clients everything they want to see and not pay them a dime for helping me out.
• I tell my clients to call every listing agent and then go see all these properties...then I'll get my client to write the contract and put my name on it so I can collect the commission.
• I refuse to call to confirm my listing appointment.
• I refuse to take a listing that is priced right.
• I refuse to renew my license and would rather just let people think I really am a licensed Realtor®.
• I refuse to show up at the closing on any of my deals..why should I ...I already earned my money doing absolutely nothing.
• I refuse to service my clients.
• I refuse to even thank my clients for their past... present... and future business.
• I won't work full-time or even part time for that matter. I'd rather let my wife pay all the bills.
• I would rather my wife work 7 days a week and then expect a home cooked meal because I'm too tired from laying around all day wondering why I'm so dam good looking and successful.
• Can you please buy me a new puppy but can you please walk them and clean up all the crap they leave?
• While your at it...can you wipe my butt and wax my Mercedes?

You know something? I don't like what I see in the head of that mindless Realtor®.

Do yourself a favor and get out of this business. You are only clogging up our profession with another license number. Only the qualified need to apply.

For more information please contact Neal The Real Deal Bloom-Realtor® /RE/MAX Premier Associates

2500 Weston Road ,Suite 103

Weston FL 33331

(954)608-5556

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