Recently I read a comment someone else made on a blog that really rubbed me the wrong way. (Usually when that happens, it's time to let it out in my own blog.) Basically a "friend" was expecting this person to list and sell their home for NO commission. After all, they were friends.
Friends don't ask friends to work for free.
When I was a child, my father had a wrecking yard and towing business. My father was a good-hearted man and would have probably done a lot for free if my mother hadn't intervened. Fortunately, she was the one who took care of the books and the billings. Over the years, I've heard my mother tell the story many times (as older people do - yes it's not just your family - they all do it).
When approached, my mother would simply say "If you were truly his friend, you wouldn't ask that question".
After all, my father had three children to feed, a mortgage and taxes to pay, employees and all that comes with being the boss and business owner, and no health insurance. My mother knew that she wouldn't have enough money to pay the bills and buy food, let alone to take a sick child to the doctor if she let him work for free!
Of course, as a child, I had little awareness or appreciation for how hard my father worked to support us. He struggled and sacrificed to make sure we had the best education possible - in fact I was in a very elite private school until we moved to Alaska. Now that I'm a parent, with one in college, one still home (hoping for third), a huge mortgage, business expenses, taxes and the like, I have a newfound respect for my father. (Fortunately my husband's job covers the insurance!)
Now don't get me wrong. When the market was fast-paced and marketing was minimal, I did discount my commission for repeat clients and friends. I will also admit that people who really know me are in a strong position when they negotiated their contract. But nobody has ever asked me to work for free.
If someone does, I will hear my mother's voice. "If you were truly her friend, you wouldn't ask that question."
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Hi Debbie - Amen to that! I can't imagine someone asking a "friend" to work for free. A couple we know asked an agent they go to church with to list their house basically for free. She'd make enough to pay her broker's fee which means she's working for free.
She went over and above what I would have done...virtual tours, open houses, etc. The listing expired and this couple was all upset that she didn't sell their house. Number one, I wouldn't have even TRIED!
I can't believe they expected her to do it for nothing and then bad mouth her when it didn't sell. Clients like these are the reason I won't discount my services.
Good for you Debbie!
So true, Debbie. How many of YOUR friends do you know that will work for FREE?
So true, Debbie. How many of YOUR friends do you know that will work for FREE?
Linda - Yikes! That would be even worse - to get trash-talked for trying!?
Faith - My point, exactly! Thanks for your comments.
Run don't walk away from that "Friend"!
Paige - It hasn't happened yet. Hopefully this blog will help someone!
I sold a divorcing friend a property. In the financial turmoil and fear of the split, she asked me if I would sell her house for free if she couldn't handle it and was forced to sell. I knew the request came out of the desperate emotions of the moment and managed to wiggle my way out of a straight answer. She didn't need another kick when she was down, but NO, I will not sell her house for free! I'm beginning to see how helping ANY friend sell a property could be a dangerous situation. Helping a friend buy is one thing but listing their property....just not sure about that.
It's like going to Nordsrom and asking them if you can borrow a pair of shoes and bring them back in a week...insulting!
I have had both kinds of friends. A friend from another state called me to refer an agent to sell her house so that I could get a referral fee because at that time she knew I needed the money and a friend who listed her house with an agent she meets at the store sometimes and felt she could not face her if she listed with me.This friend visits us at least a few times a year.
Debbie,
I agree that we should not as a rule, however and have worked for free once...my InLaws.....the reasons were many....and I haven't before and won't again.
Susan - You have E&O no matter which side you are on, but especially with the expenses of marketing a property, you have to get paid! It's more than the return on investment. It's so hard when a friend is hurting. We all want to help and of course when the tears flow it's even harder. But, for the friendship to survive, you must be strong!
Chris and Maria - Yes, it's insulting to be asked to work for free.
Gita - And she could face you? We run into that sort of thing all the time here. I just tell them to look, watch and see who is going to give them the best service, the best marketing, and the best negotiation skills. If they still choose the other friend, so be it.
Dan - In laws, out-laws and immediate family should pay double! LOL I think many of us have our horror stories.
Debbie,
I love your last comment in particular. I have spent more time coaching my brother through the agent I referred him to in another state (that's another story and before I knew about AR), but in particular, people we know should pay double. I saw a friend's house listed as a FSBO the other day and I was first shocked, then relieved. It would be far more trouble and effort than the commission would ever be worth. I'd happily refer them to someone though....
Hi Debbie,
Your mother was a smart lady. Doing business with friends and relative is difficult to say the least. The best way to handle it is upfront, straight forward and always in writing.
Susan - Perhaps your friend will have a new respect for what we doing after trying to do FSBO these days!
Cynthia - Don't ever let her know I said that, LOL. I was a daddy's girl, through and through, and my relationship with my mother is quite um.. interesting.