Your Scottsdale Non Bank Owned Property Specialist!

What if they want a portal to hell...J/K very cool post. Good point to make.

Now that's creative - I especially like the working toilets one!!!

Sometimes, the portals to hell are not readily apparent.  In fact, portals to hell are known to be responsive only to specific hidden passwords.  I'd be careful what you say on your home tours.  Wouldn't want a gaping chasm to open -- those are quite costly to repair. 

Is body removal covered in your listing presentation?

Tina: If the buyer insists on a portal to Hell, I know some great contractors ...

Bo: You'd think some things would go without saying, but I prefer the toilets that flush.  Complete with the magic of a connected sewer line!

Elaine: That's a great point. In the Southeast Valley, there have been some pockets which have developed nasty fissure issues.  Particularly in the old agricultural areas.  I've long suspected that a proper disclosure would allow for the possiblity of Lucifer to readily enter your home from said chasm.  At bare minimum, the door separating the property from the deepest pits of the underworld should be properly fire rated.

Lisa:  Absolutely.  I have a strict "You kill it, you haul it" policy.  It's boilerplate.

Love it love it love it! Same goes here...cheap doesn't mean great shape and ready to move in. :)

Hi Sally: The most succinctly I have ever heard it put was by our designated broker.  Price in the absence of value means nothing.  I'm sure he pilched that from someone, but the credit is his for the time being.

Paul.....great sense of humor, it is so so true.  How about no bottom feeders here?

Same here. . .

Pam:  That one could work, too. 

Judi:  Gotcha.

Paul - Are Arizona banks still financing homes with portals to hell? Thanks for the chuckle.

Karen:  In some cases, but they are really tightening up on credit lines.  Satan is notorious for sucking all of the equity out and using it to pimp out his kitchen.

I am totally with you!!! Have you done a open house at an REO with non running water???? Some agents don't check for running water before using the restrooms!!! come the weekend your reo buyers are sure to love that lived in smell if you know what i mean!!! you rock !!!

Paul

Surely you jest in these challenging economic times that it is not acceptable to steal from those fools that paid too much?

You are hilarious....I miss being a regular contributor these days, but I've simply just been too busy.....I troll around from time to time, and appreciate seeing what kind of mood you're in, and what masterpiece will result from it.

Hope all is well!

Benny:  That sounds like a swell open house.  By swell, I mean "Might aswell pucker up and kiss any chance of selling this dump goddbye!"

Bill:  Good to see you, my man!  Miss seeing you around, but glad to hear your staying busy out there.  I'm up to my typical shenanigans, for better or worse.  Generally worse.

Man, you're in fine form tonight.  New buyers, same trap.  Classic.  We're pretty content to avoid the bottom feeders looking to pick the foreclosure bones clean. 

When pricing the property for the market does the subtraction of value for the portal balance out with the attached sewer line connection to the working toilettes?

What foreclosure buyers get in my area is a property priced at about 5-10% below market for that community. 

What we have to do when folks contact us is separate the bottom feeders from serious buyers who need a home.  We include foreclosures in our home tours, but show homes that meet the buyers needs.

We can't avoid the foreclosures.  In my area, they're not all dogs.  Many are just homes that speculators purchased and weren't able to resell. 

A surprisingly large number of these properties are new construction purchased by real estate agents for speculation and never lived in.  They purchased in 2005, waited for construction to sell and in the mean time, the market crashed. 

I have several listings that are in great shape, updated and priced to sell!!  I feel like I have to put NOT A SHORT SALE OR BANK OWNED in the remarks, otherwise I think the folks assume it may be because we have priced the home so well!  Who knows?  Have never come upon a Meth property in my area?

People are falling all over themselves in our market also to snatch up those REO properties.  This was VERY well written to fit our market too!  Several of us have been putting in the agent to agent rem "Not a short sale or REO, just a motivated seller who can respond to your offers quickly and even provide an SRPD!"

LMAO this morning. Thanks, Paul! :)

Paul,  Amen, my friend!  I tell people this all of the time.  That is except for the 'portal to hell' - maybe I should disclose that!  :)

Nothing like a great laugh to start the day, Paul.  Congrats on the feature!

Lenza, that was quite the trip you had going there.  Welcome back.

PAUL - I've found that many people start off looking at foreclosures, but then realize the amount of work that it takes to purchase one, and start to move back towards traditional homes.  There are some bank owned homes that do present a good opportunity, particularly those that were fixed up by investors who couldn't get their prices and lost the home.

WHOA!  Don't forget Rule #1 of Fight Club, The Real Estate Sequel...We don't talk about Fair Market Value.

Jesse:  I think I got one too many pieces of FORECLOSURE/AUCTION!! spam yesterday.  As if the term itself spells value.  I don't fault anyone for looking at these properties, but to ignore the resale market entirely in favor of this crapshoot is a huge mistake.  You're right, let this wave of speculators go speculate somewhere else.  I'm looking for buyers.

Melody: I'm no appraiser, but I'm pretty sure that the negative hit for the portal to Hell outweighs the working sewer line.  I could be wrong, but that's gott be like a 10% hit.

Lenn:  Obviously there are values to be found in foreclosure.  There are a few in my market right now that appear to be solid values.  Some are in fine condition as well.  I'm not really taking aim at the entire market segment, just the automatic "bank-owned=value" mindset.  I have seen uncountable overpriced reo turkeys.  I have seen a few great deals that made me wish I was in the market for an investment.  The secret to me is that the great values are currently hiding in plain sight.  Too many buyers are busy looking under rocks and in caves for that secret housing stash.  I don't avoid foreclosures when showing property, but I don't advocate simply trolling bank-owned homes when looking for the right house either.  I hone in on the location first, property specs second ... and then every property within the price parameters; resale, foreclosure, short sale, etc.  In my recent experience, my buyers have had much better luck finding what they want, in the condition they want, on the general resale market.

There has not been much to laugh about in today's market, but I laughed at and really enjoyed your post.

Audrey: I am fortunate not to have blundered into a meth lab either.  Largely because the neighborhoods I work are, by and large, more stable than other parts of the Valley which are suffering terribly right now.  I really do think I want to make up some"Non-Bank Owned!" sign ryders just to demonstrate that it can be a positive to actually have owners present who maintain the home.  A great price is always the goal, but finding the right house comes first.

Renee:  I love that verbiage!  Too many of the reo's are so upside down that the list prices are no great shakes when it compared to true market value.  Throw in the lack of disclosure, repairs (inspection even if purchased at auction), timely response and any say in matters such as the choice of title company, and you've got yourself one very hit or miss proposition.

Kelly:  Glad to give you a morning chuckle.  Thanks for reading.

Marc:  The exact language I would recommend is, "This may or may not be a portal to Hell.  Best let a professional home inspector advise you."  That is assuming an inspection of the premises is possible.

Amanda:  Not quite sure this one deserved a feature, but I thank you.  One disclosure issue that the banks never have any knowledge of revolves around the use of the rooftop by college kids for the staging of Rocky Horror Picture Show performances. 

Paul - I am also not a foreclosure or short sale expert and I likely never will be.  I am not your man if this is what you are looking to find.  Austin doesn't really have that many good foreclosure properties in my experience.  Congrats on the feature, my friend!

Andrew:  If only the vampires were shrewd enough to feast on live victims instead of the rotting flesh of short sales and repos.  You can demand a blood test from the live ones, but are really taking your health into your fangs when prowling behind dumpsters for the waylaid street urchin who may or may not have a community hypodermic lodged somewhere on his ashen person.  That is one cheap meal, but is it a value?  Only until the coughing starts.

Paul, Great post. So far I have not listed a short sale and refuse to list an REO, but have helped buyers purchase these types of properties. I know exactly what you are talking about. The pages have turned. This is what a buyers market is all about my friend.

Adam:  I concur with your assessment.  Those are the values.  The ones where the investor ran out of money or spent too much money.  Of course, the flip side is that the neighborhoods that I work can support extensive upgrading, so it is difficult to over-improve.  Also, the people who usually purchase in these neighborhoods typically has pockets deep enough to finish the job and absorb the carrying costs.  There are exceptions, of course, and you can bet that I know where those ones are.  My indictment is really for the whole mindset that bank-owned means better value.  It doesn't even always mean cheaper.

Andrew:  You'd think that folks would have had enough of getting themselves into trouble with speculation, what with the local county level Real Estate meltdown and all.  Amazing how short-term the memories are.  Those who bought quality homes in quality neighborhoods at reasonable prices are doing just fine, by and large.  Those that ran to the nearest (or furthest in this case) bargain basement price somewhere in the boonies are the ones losing their houses.  So what does the latest crop of buyers do?  Not buy in established neighborhoods where values have held up ("Why are these prices not reflective of the 25% crash in property values I've read about?").  No, they'd rather go buy cheap.  That's fine, just don't expect the Golden Fleece in the White Tanks.

Amanda:  You're right.  Never address value when there is cheap to be had!

Laura:  Oh, I find there is always something to laugh about.  We are silly creatures.

Jason: Do you find that the good values in foreclosures are listed in your MLS?  They are here.  I find that the banks who are shrewd enough to put the property in the MLS are often wiser in their pricing strategies.  You even run into the occasional institution that will make a repair or two.  From a consumer's perspective, would you really expect a bank who squeezes every penny to the point that they won't pay a cooperating broker's fee to offer a massive discount in price?  It's counterintuitive.  I can find folks a foreclosure value, it's just not the slam dunk that they think it is.  I've had much better luck with standard resale properties.

Mana:  A buyer's market doesn't have to mean beating down the courthouse steps for value.  If anything, buyers should use the current dynamics to leverage a great buy through less risky means.  They don't have to stoop to such methods in the current environment. There are deals galore. 

Hi Paul,

Interesting and enjoyably written post.  The market has changed.  Unfortunately the buyers are now trying to take advantage, almost the same way the sellers were trying to take advantage a few years ago.

The cycle goes back and forth, I think buyers and sellers are happier in a more mid-line market.

All the best

Hi Kevin,

I have no problem with a consumer seeking to take advantage of the market's landscape to get the very best deal he/she can muster.  That's the name of the game after all.  My only contention is that today's buyer is too often going about it in the wrong manner.  He is mistaking "cheap" for "value," and "distressed" for "bargain."  My clients expect me to find them not only a low price, but a home and a community in which they actually want to live.  The same should hold true for investors, even if they have no plans to occupy the premises.  Go find the best value you can in a desirable location.  Don't let the lure of the "bank-owned" craze pull you away from the best investments.  Thanks for your comment.

For many years we avoided the foreclosure market.  The homes were not properly discounted for condition and the listing agents/banks were less than helpful.

That has changed.  Many if not most of the bank owned homes on the market today were foreclosed on purchases made with bad financing in the past few years.  These are great homes. 

Like you, we just work them in a tour.  I do use the keyword "foreclosure" for Google juice.  I haven't lost my mind. 

Lenn:  Makes sense to me.  Foreclosures in today's market do tend to be in better condition than in years past, though they are still lean pickings here in the really desirable neighborhoods.  Seems like the lenders who do have one or two come back in these communities are not pricing them as aggressively as they are elsewhere in the Valley.  The ones out on the fringes have to be cut-rate deals to attract investors.  I'm not convinced that they don't price some of the cherry properties that come back to them in the neighborhoods of high demand much closer to market value as a way to offset the baths they are taking elsewhere. 

Stand your ground man! Love it!

Gary & Melynda:  You got it.  That is one thing I know how to do.

Oh come on - you KNOW that there ARE those buyers who really WANT meth labs... lol - great post!  So many clients want to jump on the foreclosure band wagon - but they want the house to be perfect - and no, they don't want to pay to have the water turned on for the inspection, nor do they want to pay anywhere NEAR market value - it's crazy!  And they don't seem to understand that they HAVE to put the bid in on the first day and then be willing to WAIT an unlimited amount of time to get it to the closing table!  Great post!

Emily:  Fair enough.  There is that meth lab buyer out there, but I think I'll let Sir-Tweeks-A-Lot ride in your car instead of mine.  ;)

Amen, Paul. If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought you were writing about Central Oregon (but come to think of it, we ARE pretty connected, since so many CO snowbirds head to Scottsdale & thereabouts for the winter). By the by, I got a call from a guy earlier this week who wanted me to notify him if I knew of any 3-bedroom foreclosures in Bend for $180,000 (the median price is $306,500). I said no but I knew of a new subdivision planned for later this year that will have 3-bedroom homes for about $200,000 (the developer got a great deal on a large parcel that was foreclosed on) and offered to send him some info on it. He declined.

Paul, I think you are on to something here!!! I love it. In my area there has been a huge increase in "grow houses". Pot growers are breaking into vacant properties and setting up shop!! I guess that could be considered a perk for buying a foreclosure.

I love it, your non bank owned property specialist.  I get lots of calls...'do you specialize in foreclosures?" 

"Nope, I like to work with normal people."

I went on a listing appointment the other day and the house across the street is and REO with a hole in the roof.  Now...we are in OREGON where yes it rains, so for the past 9 months this home has been having a waterfall shower through the ceiling. 

Me...I like my margueritas served with a nice side of mold...NEXT HOUSE!

Lisa:  Wow.  That is a perfect example of buzzword buying.  Some folks won't let a great opportunity get in their way of buying a bank owned home.  Amazing.

Bryant:  So that's why they reek of moldy bong water!

Melina:  I'm not big into houses with sunroofs either.  The thing the freaks me out the most about reo properties is the unseen stuff.  I can see a hole in the ceiling, but lord knows what's happening inside the walls.  The bank certainly doesn't.

Lenz:  I was actually thinking someone like Courtney Love or the freaky Olson twin.  No not that one, the other one.

It's got working toilets......I am sold! LOL. I have very few requirements in a house, but that is definitely one of them. Can this so called "portal" eat my car or me? If not, I am not too worried. I think anything that would come out would be scared back in!!!!! HAHA

Christy:  I am no satanologist, but from what I gather, portals to Hell come in all shapes and sizes.  Not being one to tinker with the Devil (Steve Gutenberg), I try to avoid them when possible.  You never know when a dime size portal will morph into a 50 ft crevase.  Settling and all.  When that happens, you just signed up for the next 76 installments of Police Academy.

That was hilarious.  I might have to put a link to this post on my outside blog about buying foreclosures!  I will warn you first...  ;)

We don't have that many foreclosures or distressed properties here and some buyers think we are hiding properties from them.  Why would I hide something you would buy?

Sandra: Link away!  I appreciate all the proliferation my silly little blog can get.  You make a very good point.  Some folks are just so skeptical that they do believe we're hiding the good stuff in the back.  Like we're giving them the $2 scotch.  You put it perfectly. Why hide something that is saleable and would put food on my table?

OMG, Paul, this is so right on! You always say it so well too! I am right there with you my friend. I may send this to a few clients! As for the riders, my personal fav is  "No Portal To Hell In Garage Floor!"

Vanessa:  Thanks.  I'm thinking about making a dozen copies of that rider.  Hopefully the HOAs won't have a problem with it.  Sometimes the best selling features are the ones that are ignored because they seem overtly obvious.  Can't believe I have not once touted the lack of such a portal in my marketing efforts.  For shame. ;)

Yup loving them riders!!! Heres a few to add:

• Deal? or No Deal?
• Wanted: New Family
• Got a home?
• If you lived here, You'd be home now!

Hi Paul, This was an ingenious post and one that rings especially true for me. I sort of have had the exact same feelings. I don't list and I haven't sold but one. And that ratio looks like it will hold. An excellent post and glad this was featured. Maybe a San Diego Buyer will stumble across it,lol

Ara:  Sure, go all conventional with the sign riders on me!  I think I'll just start putting riddles on mine.  The lucky buyer who calls up with the right answer gets ... his number logged in my caller id. 

William:  I've listed and sold exactly one bank owned property as well.  The reason I took that one listing?  I was given a budget to get it market ready, and I was given a realistic price.  Not coincidentally, we sold it within 30 days of putting it in the MLS.  Banks are no different than any other seller.  Some are shrewd enough to take the necessary steps to sell the property, others cut cost at every turn and subsequently cut their noses off to spite their faces.  My message to buyers is simple.  Judge the property, not the ownership status.  Bank owned does not translate to "steal" anymore than resale does.  It's just another seller, albeit one without knowledge of property condition, nor willingness to make repairs in most instances.  Caveat emptor to the max.

Paul, you make the idea of working foreclosures and short sales so appealing! I always avoid portals in the garage so that's an important point for me. Maybe I need to look into this side of Real Estate? :-) Later in the rain~Deb

BTW, I like the new pic.

Your sign riders are awesome. Those alone deserve the star...

But in my neck of the woods, if you're not selling bank-owned you're probably not selling.

Get those houses sold, amigo.

Deb:  About as appealing to me as a trip to the sun in a spaceship made of ice.  I'll show and sell them when they are truly deals, but I'm not real keen on mucking through the filth on a daily basis.  Thanks for not killing me over the new pic ;)

Joey:  There are plenty of spots across the Valley here where bank-owned is the only stuff moving.  Those aren't the spots where most people want to be.  In fact, it's investors coming back in a big way that are buying that stuff.  In my neck of the woods, quality homes at (or let's face it, slightly under) market value is still where it's at. 

Hi Paul,  I woke up too early this mother's day and read your blog.  Laughed so hard I wanted to cry... and not its now time to go back to bed before the rugrats wake up!

Judy:  Have a terrific Mother's Day! 

I like it. When I read this I thought "yeah thats me too" just didn't know what I thought until you penned it. 8)

Rob:  Funny, but that's how I tend to be with my thoughts as well.  They can be a jumble of confusion until I put them down on paper.  This whole blogging thing really helps crystalize thoughts and ideas for me.  Thanks for reading.

Paul, I love the way that you can find humor in anything. I am so glad to have met you.

What is really great about foreclosures and short sales is that new agents will get lots of practice writing lots of offers and the agony of defeat will be much more prevelent than say what an agent had to go through back in '05 when they were writing lots of offers and actually closing lots of deals.  See the difference here is that new agents will actually see that it's not easy to begin with so when it levels back out again....if they make it...they'll say, gosh, I remember when I first got started...real estate was hard! :)  Hugs! :)

Paul,

I think you have a winner in the rider contest:  Non Bank Owned Property.  I love it!!!  Great post.

Very creative Paul ! Any client in Scottsdale AZ is lucky to have you !

Paul, your post impressed me with it's humor. Thank you for so much fun. Let me recommend you my favourite resource. Hope, you'll find some useful information about Real Estate there. I found mortgage calculators especially interesting. 

Darina, thank you for commenting.  I do ask that you remove the link to the site which advises consumers to skip the crucial step of working with a professional Realtor to protect their interests in the sale or purchase of a home.  As a working Realtor, I am a bit perplexed as to why you thought I would appreciate that link being placed on my blog.  I certainly don't advocate the purchase or sale of a home without professional involvement.  That's a recipe for disaster.  Suffice it to say that I believe I bring years of experience and dedication to protecting my client's interests to each and every transaction.  So the "Don't pay commission to sell your house!" proclamations on the site you link to kind of rub me the wrong way.  Kind of like my posting a link on your site saying "Don't get screwed, hire a Realtor!"  Again, thank you for the comment, but I'll be forced to delete it if you don't remove the link within the day.  Many thanks.

Hi Paul.

Hi Mandy.

Thanks for the giggles!  Love the riders! :) 

You are quite welcome, Jen.  Great to see you!  I know you have had some turbulence in your life lately, so I hope things have calmed down and that you are well. 

I do not specialize in short sales.  I do not specialize in foreclosures. - great line!  I am so sick of short sales.

Adorable, just adorable! 

...And I don't mean just the Title, or just the blog.,,

You and your family are simply adorable!  (could your kids be any cuter?)

...Ah: the title and the blog are pretty good too! 

Thank you for the post!

I would like to invite you to our Optimist Group.   You will like it there and we will like you.  By the way, the token for getting into our group is to post some more pictures of your beautiful family!

Georgina:  You really only have to be involved with one to be tired of them.  My buyers and I have made a pact to stab each other in the eye with a dull number two pencil before opening that can of worms again.

Mirela:  You've got yourself a deal!  Not only am I an optimist, but I am a proud papa who likes to show off his kids.  I'll be sure to join the group, and I'll have the family in tow.

"non meth lab" could be a particularly useful one!

I believe you have forgotten "I don't have to market this home as Vintage"

It's too funny that these scenarios are the "exception" not the rule! 

More equity than Rosie O'Donnell at  an all you can eat buffet-lol  You must have been hangin' out with The Donald lately! ; )