Cana-duh!

As many of you realize, Vancouver is hosting the 2010

winter games. Surprise, surprise, everything's built on time and ready!

People from all over the world have been leaving various questions

on the International Tourism Website. These were actual

questions. The responses are from THE BLOGGING GUY.

Q. I have never seen it warm in Canada, so how do plants grow? (England)

A. We import our plants and then sit around and watch them die.

Q. Will I be able to see polar bears on the streets? (USA)

A. It all depends on how much you've had to drink.

Q. I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the railway tracks? (Sweden)

A. Sure. It's about 4,000 miles. Take lots of water and dress warmly.

Q. Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them for

Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

A. There is one in each city; a list can be supplied

for only $3.00 (USD).

Q. Which way is north in Canada? (USA)

A. Face south and turn 180 degrees. Contact me when you get there and I'll send

the rest of the directions.

Q.Can we bring cutlery into the country? (England)

A. Absolutely not. It's customary to use your fingers like the natives do.

Q. Can you tell me the areas where the female population is smaller than the

male population? (Italy)

A. Only in gay nightclubs.

Q. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A. Only when there's tourists in town.

Q. Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A. No, there are no super markets in Toronto; just a few corner stores.

We are a peaceful nation of vegen hunter/gatherers. We don't drink milk here.

Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.

It's like a big horse with horns. (USA)

A. That would be the big horse with horns that we call a moose.

They are tall and violent, eating the

brains of anyone walking close to them.

You don't want to screw around with them-ever!

You can scare them off by dousing yourself with

lighter fluid or human urine before going out walking.

If you pick the first option, don't smoke.