The Art of Complaining

Complainers do suck!  Thanks for the blog post, it was a nice read.

I think that my mother and your mother are related!  I love the timer approach! And I am very close to someone who has mastered the art of complaining, as well as criticizing others constantly. Loved this post....helps to know I'm not alone out there. Keep Smiling Liz!

Liz - Are you telling me I am a complainer? Just kidding, although I do my fair share of it. Great post!

Your not going for another feature are you?

Liz I enjoy reading your posts. I know that complaining is most definitely a waste of energy. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said complaining is abdicating responsibilty for changing ourselves...but that takes energy, effort and insight.

Positive thinking isn't any good without positive talk.  Remove the negative talk and remove the definitive statements like "I can't do that", "That will never work", etc.  The people that refuse to remove negative talk around me are first warned then I just don't associate myself with them.  You are who you surround yourself with and if it's with negative thinking people, it will get to you.

This reminded me of a guy I used to work with years ago: Bob.  He was the most depressing individual I had ever met.  He ran our printing department and would complain constantly about every little change we made to the circular.  So, my defense was to be the total opposite of him every time I saw him, no matter how bad my day was!!!  He would respond regularly: "Lewis, I don't know how you do it!!!"  What he didn't know was that I too had a very stressful job but really, what's the point of all that wasted energy complaining all day!!!

Oh crap, do I complain that much? LOL  I guess, over the phone, I can't tell if you've got the egg timer going or not.  I'll have to be more aware of the yadda yadda yadd'ing.  :)

It's just SOOOOOOOOO much easier to complain and have a friendly ear to listen to our crap, than it is to do something about it, in most cases.  I guess part of the problem is that 'redecorating' our own house, sometimes may mean having to 'relocate' someone else; whether it be from our house or our lives ... and it's always hard to be perceived as, or be, the bad guy ... so we complain, rather than act/do. 

But hey, it could be worse.  I think the people who don't complain, and keep it all bottled up inside, probably will 'go postal' on someone and that could be dangerous (to both parties).

If you complain you don't have to be responsible for anything since it's someone elses fault.

LIZ: 

I try not to compain about things, but sometimes I get misunderstood, as you see i'm not complaining..........i'm just explaining.......  nice post...

Bill - well you know how to make my day - thank you!  :-)n

Robert -  I guess that means we all Suck sometimes! :-)

Kimberley - it can be tough can't it.......?  and unfortunately sometimes, just sometimes.........it rubs off! Thanks for sharing! Smiles..:-)

Robert - I'm not thinking i'm that lucky...:-)

Deborah thanks for reading my blogs! - sometimes the 'taking responsibility' can weigh heavy on the shoulders eh?  :-)

Jared - its probably human nature to complain some of the time.......and sometimes we need those close to us to give us a kick in the butt........as long as we all take turns being positive I think we'd be making great inroads!  :-)  Thanks for commenting.

Lewis - what a great role model - i'm sure you made an impact on your co-worker......you're right just because you're stressed is no reason for prolonged complaining - you can vent - just get back on track...:-)

Sylvie - you make me laugh - i think there has to be somewhere to vent - we're all human, not super human, and we all need a shoulder to whine on occasionally and hallelujah for good friends eh:-)  I got all the the secret messages too...:-)

Liz, I loved this and boy, can I identify.  I love my mother more then anything but she sometimes only sees the downside of things.  I hope it's not an age thing (and I really hope it's not contagious :)!

Sylvie my friend........you make me laugh - we all need to be able to vent, we're human not superhuman............and thank you for giving me your shoulder to vent on!  And then we have that same friend to help us get back on track...........so how much better then that does it get? Thank you for being that friend!  Postal???  lol

David - and there are times I want to do that!  I won't deny it...........but to sit and reflect afterwards and redirect your course and picking up the mantle of responsibility eventually ....is the direction you want to be going!

Carole - ummm i hate to say this but I do think some of it rubs off!  lol..........we just have to keep pinching ourselves and doing that 'reality' check!  :-)

Hi Liz,

You've really nailed the whole concept of complaining dead on!

I've noticed that watching too much news often leads people to be cynical about life in general...they start to complain about a lot of things and judge things and people they shouldn't be judging.

Perhaps this is part of the downfall of the information age? It seems to me that in the old days when things were simpler and people were closer, there were fewer complainers.

I also find that if I'm around someone who is a complainer or judger, I have to be extra careful not to take on their characteristics. Do you find this too?

Jo

Paul thats cute - i'm just explaining i'm not complaining! lol.......my line is i'm not complaining, i'm just expressing my feelings!  lol

Jo its not hard to pick up on the negativity from watching/reading media..........I don't know but you're probably right that people might have been more accepting of things in previous generations........maybe they just 'sucked it up'........or maybe they vented through 'gossip' or some other ways........its hard to say..........too much of anything, especially complaining is not a good thing!  :-)

Liz, I love this post.  Yes, we all rant and things get to us but there are those people that always find the bad in everything.  I usually talk to them for a bit and then politely excuse myself.  BTW, my mom is the best at being the Devil's advocate as well.  LOL.

Audrey - maybe its a mom thing?   :-)  I find myself doing that to....ever so politely and then.........sorry i gotta run!  :-)

I like your thought - if I can complain about it, I can identify what's wrong or not working - now just take it a step further and imagine how it can be changed. thanks

Rick - yes sometimes you need to speak it out before you can release it!

Hi Liz... The key, as you mentioned, is to not complain to simply vent, but rather to identify and offer solutions or improvements that make the situation better.  Constructive complaints are OK with me, but complaints that are open ended and do nothing to improve the staus quo serve no meaningful purpose.

Steve:  sometimes i think we can just vent too........pls?...lol.....just not too often though!  :-)

I just love this. Your attitude is so cool and what a great way to start my day. Thank you!

I'm glad Sonya - thats a wonderful compliment -thank you!  :-)