Entry 35 - Walmart & Mindless Consumerism: Reflections on a Culture of Morons

All right, after accidentally erasing not one, but two drafts of my entry on "Slumlords & Civilized Society: An Existential Journey," I decided to push that off until next week. Instead, you get…

Walmart has been the butt of many jokes (most of them justified) regarding everything from employee treatment to small business bulldozing, yet they continue to flourish. What's going on here? Who's responsible for this behemoth slowly taking over the world? (Aside: Walmart employs roughly 1.5 million people and clocks roughly $275 million in annual sales, as opposed to the $120 billion dollar trade deficit between the US and China - if these numbers don't scare you, you probably have Asperger's syndrome [caveat: figures slightly dated]).

(<------------ "Guys, it's cool, it's an ancient symbol for prosperity...")

So while it's extremely easy to make fun of Walmart, and blame them for all of the terrible effects they have on our economy, I'm going to take a different tack: blaming YOU. Yes, you heard me right, I said you. You shop there, you work there, you even EAT there, supplanting Taco Bell as the most disgusting mass-produced swill consumable garbage. Because of American demand for new, shiny, and cheap things they can quickly throw away and replace for social advancement, Walmart has offered them exactly what they want: stuff so cheap you can buy it today, throw it out tomorrow, and buy something else tomorrow to show off to Mr. & Mrs. Jones across the street.

I could wax on, ranting about Ma & Pa Hardware Store who just defaulted on their rental contract because they're put out of business every 13 minutes by Walmart leveling local economies, or I could simply show you a few examples of the kinds of morons keeping this bloated leviathan alive.

Roll camera:

(pictures provided courtesy of www.peopleofwalmart.com)

So, where to begin with this one? -------------->

The subject's suspicious gender?

The fanny pack?

The underwear?

The socks?

"Honey, I know you want potatoes for dinner, but... ok, ok, you just hang out here at the car, and I'll be right back."

"Thanks for the back scratch! Now it's your turn. No, seriously, turn around... What?"

If you are so embarrassed that you'll never step foot in a Walmart again, I've done my job.

And if you're wondering how that woman wipes herself... some problems aren't meant to be solved.

Oh, and if any of this irritates you, consider a little wisdom from Holden Caulfield: "Morons always hate it when you call them a moron."