What's Really Keeping You From Attaining Your Heart's Desires?

I recently read an article about asking clients for referrals. It contained scripts and role-playing scenarios for phone conversations. When I was done reading it, I realized that in spite of having all the tools to teach me to ask my clients for referrals, I still felt afraid and hesitant. This realization was frustrating and painful - and I didn't quite know why I was stuck like this! I knew that I was a good Realtor, one who worked tirelessly, and one who gives each client my very best effort to protect them and guide them... So why was I so afraid to ask for referrals??

Well, after some more reading, and listening to today's sermon on www.Joelosteen.com, here's what I came up with.

The reason that - today as an adult, I am feeling afraid to ask for referrals, is because I have some old self-beliefs that, well, are just plain ridiculous. Many deeply held beliefs that we have about ourselves are completely erroneous and untrue. I realized that what was holding me back today, were some untrue beliefs about myself, that I had from the past.

We all have "core beliefs" about ourselves in each category of our lives. For example, our finances, our family, our education, our intellect, and our friends... So, you have a core belief around money, and your belief gets communicated in your actions - around the subject of money. We even have a belief about our ability to change and learn and grow.

Our behaviors, are based upon our emotions. Beliefs begin as mere thoughts. A thought becomes a belief because we practice it in our minds over and over again.

Why don't we change what we believe?

The reason that most people in our culture don't deal with limiting beliefs is, in order to change, you must uproot the old belief. In the process of uprooting our old belief, you'll experience emotion - most likely very painful emotion.

Here is a list of steps that helped me to work on my own limiting beliefs:

1.) AWARENESS: Choose a limiting belief you have. Awareness is the step where you end the cycle of acting from old patterns of thought, that no longer serve you.

2.) DESIRE: Make sure that you want to change your belief! If you're working on this with a partner or friend or Coach, give them permission to change your belief! Confirm that you actually want to get rid of the old belief.

3.) OWNERSHIP: Say your current belief aloud and with passion. You have to do this because, you cannot change what you do not own.

4.) DISCOVER: Think back to your earliest memory of your limiting belief. *Mine was when I was shushed as a talkative child* Remember, Reunite, and Reconnect with you! The memory will be painful, but this is the origination of the limiting belief.

5.) EMBRACE: One you have a picture in your mind, like a freeze-frame of the memory, next, embrace the scene. Be in it. Re-live it. Associate with the scene. Go back into the moment, and realize that it is not reality, it is just a memory from the past. Speak out loud, what is happening as if it is happening again right now, in "first person." Let it happen to you again, but let it happen to you right now. Feel the emotional charge associated with it. This step can take some time to fully process. The *secret* is to feel it in the core of your being.

6.) WITNESS: Witness the scene. Disassociate from it. Stand outside of the freeze-frame in your mind, and look at it from an outsider's perspective.

7.) ACCEPT: As you witness the scene, find something about it that you can love. For me, it was that my Parents "shushed" me because they were trying to teach me manners. Now, release the old belief by releasing the energy stored in this old memory. You do this because this old memory is controlling your life, and it's a childhood memory doesn't serve you. The easiest way to to bring love into your life is to nurture the little kid that holds the wounded memory. (What would your adult say to your inner kid right now?)

8.) CREATE: Create a new belief. Like, "Asking for referrals is no big deal."

It's pretty funny actually. Limiting core beliefs are misbeliefs about ourselves, usually based on early choices and youthful decisions that we've long forgotten. The process of recognizing our core beliefs is a hard thing to do, because it's a challenge to be honest with ourselves. It takes brutal honesty, but you can, can, can, uproot an old, crippling, core belief, and install a new reality-based one!

changing your core beliefs.