The Humorous Auctioneer

THE HUMOROUS AUCTIONEER

By: Mike Grigg, AARE

As auctions become more and more popular, especially in the real estate industry, auctioneers are going to have to find ways to keep bidders coming to their auctions. The ideas of getting deals and the excitement are going to wear off, so what do we turn to? Humor, of course! Who doesn't enjoy a good joke or a funny demeanor?

In auctions that can't just be immediately sold, not allowing the bidders to ponder a bid, like real estate property, jokes and humor can be the extra edge that makes the difference between bidders coming back to your auction or going to the competition. Everyone loves a good chant, but after a while the unique chant of an auctioneer becomes less entertaining to the ear of a bidder, and when it comes to getting that extra $10,000 or losing it do to the fact that the bidders have become bored of hearing the numbers over and over again, I choose waiting a bit longer and throwing in a joke or two to loosen the crowd back up.

Here are a few one-liners that could be used to spur some bidding:

· "It's quiet enough to start a prayer meeting in here."

· "You're not ‘gonna' let her win for a thousand bucks, are you?"

· "This side of the room is allowed to bid too."

· When bidding stalls ask: "Raise your hand if you know who Pamela Anderson is?" When people begin to raise their hands start taking bids then indicate that you are just joking with them.

· "It's only money"

· If you ever mess up counting: "My third grade teacher would be really disappointed in me."

Remember, the number one reason why people attend auctions is because they are fun, so make your auctions fun! Have fun, make jokes, and act like you are just relaxing with your friends (to a certain extent of course) and your auctions will be well-attended do to the fun factor. Your job as an auctioneer is to obtain the highest price possible for your client, and a relaxed, entertained bidder is always going to bid higher than an uptight, nervous bidder.

Please don't forget to post your auctions on the CSAA website at www.caauctioneers.org. Good luck with all of your businesses and remember to have fun when you're at the podium!