Divorce Ceremony, Yes I am not kidding

I just watched a great movie on Lifetime called My New Life, It was a great story about a troubled teen with divorced parents and her step mom understanding divorce , Having been a product of one herself did some great healing with the Teen.

It is very painful and scarring, the wound the children of divorce carry and we as adults need to be aware of the pain that it causes and the scarrs that it leaves. As Adults it is the hardest thing to do to step outside of our own heads and feelings about ourselves and our needs and to put our children first. In this me first society but we need to realized the harm we are doing in satisfying ourselves first.

I was schocked to find you that one million children annually in the United States are a product of Divorce?

Did you know that means that in 10 years we will have 10 million children becoming adults that are from the product of divorce..

We rarely see divorce in our Palos Verdes Community, we are very blessed and I believe that is because most parents,waited to have their careers started and are older prior to choosing a mate and of course most rarely came from divorced parents.

For the rest of the world, children of divorce are hurt and need healing. If you think your children are not scarred by your divorce, then you are only fooling yourself. Every child wants a Mommy and Daddy that love each other and never want to face the pain and loneliness of missing a parent.

I know that for a fact first hand and my children experienced a loss of a parent through death and divorce.

I think that a divorce ceremony, speaking to your child and letting your child share their feelings of anger,pain and loss are very important. Divorce is especially harder on Boys than Girls. Especially harder on the quiet child that may stuff the pain and act out instead.

There are a number of books on divorce and counseling is a must but remember it will always leave a scar and it will never completely heal.

As for my Christian take on divorce, the older I get the more I see that God did make us to be with only one person and that is it. Us, Americans that have lost family values can compare intimate relationships to scotch tape.

A Pastor I know described it best,"God made us to be like scotch tape"., The first time you use it it sticks real well but then after that it just sticks together less and less. That is what happens to us human beings each relationship thickens are skin until we lose the abililty for true intimacy.That is shown to be true about the statistics for 1st and 2nd Marriages. The 2nd marriages statistics are always shorter.

It always amazes me that when one partner leaves for something better, they ususally pick the same type of person to marry again and have the same problems..

Marriage is work but I believe that if we never had other choices and samples then we would all stay and work alot harder than in our society today where we throw out relationships like yesterdays wardrobe. Our society is too self obcessed and I believe that we should go back to the old days of living for our families and not ourselves to make better, happy and more stable children.

Maybe God's plans really were the best!!!

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