Moments of Reality on HGTV

I've been on HGTV's show "Get It Sold" a couple of times and apparently wasn't too dorky, so they recently asked be to be a "featured agent." Now, being a "featured agent" means that I appear to be the agent a homeowner chooses from several to list his or her property, one that has been on the market "too long." In actuality, the properties are frequently listed by other agents who haven't yet been vetted by being on the air in a lesser capacity to demonstrate they do well on TV.

"Get It Sold," like many others on the cable network, is one of those staging shows, where a home stager, in this case the lovely Sabrina Soto, comes in and turns an ordinary, or in some cases, dreadfully dreary home into a gem that buyers will fall in love with.

So this week I was a featured agent at a very pleasant house in the Brookland neighborhood of DC. And today was the day to shoot the “open house.” In this set-up, people posing as “buyers” are supposed to walk through the house, nicely staged at this point, and make positive comments, like how beautiful the place is, or what a lovely paint color, or how much they love the drapes.

So I’m standing out in front of the house watching a shot get set up when Jim Delgado comes over to see what's going on.

Now Jim Delgado is a home inspector extraordinaire and quite a character with a very colorful past. He was a DC housing inspector for many years and use to have to wear a bullet-proof vest under his shirt when working in the more notorious parts of the city. There are indications he may have been an undercover cop in an earlier life. And as it turns out, Jim lives only four houses away.

I invited him to participate in the open house. Jim is such an special and funny guy that I know his comments when walking through this house are going to be a lot more interesting and unusual than your average person. And he doesn't disappoint.

Others who had come through the living room had complimented the fireplace and moved on. Jim, however, glances at the fireplace and declares, “Looks like a working fireplace!” But instead of heading for the dining room like everyone else, he picks up the brass fireplace screen and moves it aside. Then he gets down on the floor, sticks his head in the hearth and stares up the chimney. “Yup,” he says, “a working fireplace all right.” It was totally unexpected and pretty hilarious. I hope it makes it onto the show.

Producer Breanna Hoepner-Cowe was won over by him and thought it would be funny to have Jim walk through a room, peek over his shoulder, then slip some piece of brick-a-brack in his pocket and walk off. Or he could pick up one of the apples in the decorative bowl exactingly prepared by Sabrina, and take a bite. Sadly, we didn't shoot either, but damn, that would have been some fine “reality” TV.

Maybe next time.