The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance

I know of a realtor that has been called arrogant because he comes across so sure of himself, (I'll use only his first name, Richard, so as not to embarrass him.) I too, thought at times, "You think you know everything, that attitude will get you in trouble one of these days."

The more I saw him work however, the more my attitude changed.

I saw this man work into the wee hours of the night to find answers to questions raised by a client as well as tirelessly search to find the best possible deal for them, not himself.

I observed Richard hold his tongue when he knew a fellow realtor provided the wrong information during a meeting, but not call him on it in front of everyone just to make himself look good; rather, e-mail the new realtor an article with the updated information so the new guy could pass the updates along himself and save face.

I have seen this same man give up several Saturdays to go to client's homes to help them with leaky faucets, lawn issues, and other minor home repairs when they were physically unable to do the work themselves. All the while telling them he enjoys doing the repairs so they wouldn't feel indebted to him.

He has selflessly decreased his commission so that a family struggling to close on their new home, could.

And on the rare occasion that Richard is not able to provide the best for his clients, I have seen him refer them to another realtor that was more knowledgeable in his client's particular interests.

By watching Richard's efforts to be the best realtor he can be, he has unknowingly changed my opinion of confidence vs arrogance.

Confidence is believing that you have strengths, capabilities, and knowledge in a particular subject, acknowledging areas of weakness.

Arrogance is believing that you have strengths, capabilities, and knowledge in every subject, denying areas of weakness.

Confidence is using your strengths to help others.

Arrogance is using your strengths to help yourself.

Confidence attracts.

Arrogance repels.

So my newly revised definition of the two is...

Confidence is not knowledge, raising you above those without it;

but rather,

Confidence is knowledge that allows you to serve those without it.

Thank you Richard.