Jessica, what if we're not satisfied and want to cancel our listing?

First, ask yourself the following questions:

Are you the type of person that feels the warmth of the sun rising through their window in the morning and thinks, "Just great! Another day!", instead of being happy to be alive and being given (at least) one more opportunity to make a difference?

Are you the type of person that quickly points out, "You're going to get stretch marks," instead of congratulating someone when hearing they're with child?

Are you the type of person that finds it hard to celebrate when your team only wins by a touchdown instead of 60 points?

Are you the type of person that would walk into the kitchen of a 5-Star restaurant and tell a world- renowned chef they're doing it all wrong?

Are you the type of person that would argue with a brick wall if it would argue back with you? Perhaps, even it wouldn't?

If so, there's a very good chance that you won't be satisfied with us, either. Don't worry; there isn't a shortage of real estate agents for you to choose from.

On the other hand (the less attractive one for the people above)...

If you're a pretty reasonable kind of gal or guy -someone who doesn't have unrealistic expectations about who real estate agents are, what their purpose is, and how and when they should be doing their job,- we'll probably get a long just fine.

Hopefully...

But just in case, any time you're not completely satisfied, you have not only our permission, but our blessing to go all Donald Trump on us. Tell us, "You're Fired!" and kick us to the curb so fast that our heads will be left spinning as we try desperately to figure out what day of the week it really is.

How many times have you wanted to do that to someone? I know I have - literally.

So try us. You might actually like us.

I imagine that picking a real estate agent is kind of like trying to get my son to eat broccoli or other green vegetables: You never know if you're going to like them until you're willing to give them a try.

We're kind of bold with flavor and sometimes hard to swallow, but we're good for you because we're good at selling houses - really good.

However, if you absolutely, positively, without any doubt, just don't like us, there isn't a need to make a big scene while spitting us out. Just politely ask to be excused and we'll understand. We aren't going to make you sit at the table dreading the thought of having to take another bite of something that doesn't agree with you.

Yes, you can have that in writing. We wouldn't serve you a heaping helping of us, any other way.