How much do you want to offer?? BA HAHAHAHAA!! Yeah right!!

"Hello Jared. My name is Barbara and I am a real estate investor here in Fort Wayne. I am a cash buyer and I would like to write an offer on 1234 Main St this afternoon. I don't need to see the inside, I know the area well, and I don't care how much work needs done. I have my own purchase agreeement and proof of funds from my bank. I can swing by your office around 3:00 if that works for you."

I normally don't work with investors but Barbara seemed like she knew what she was doing. I was in the office anyway so I told her to come on in. What a mistake that was.

The house was a foreclosure owned by a local bank and had been on the market for a few months. It was a little over priced at $65,000 and I told Barbara that I thought $50,000 was a good price to offer. She gave me a weird look and dropped her purchase agreement on my desk.

NOT ONLY did she change a ton of the wording on the purchase agreement, she wanted to offer $2,500!!!!!!!! No, not $25,000, $2,500!!!!!!!!!!!!! I asked her if she was smoking crack. (Seriously, I did) She kind of chuckled and then got really intense and said:

"I want you to present this SAME offer every day until the bank accepts my offer or sells it to somebody else. As my Realtor you HAVE to do what I say."

My response: "Um. Yeah. Barbara, this isn't going to work. I don't have the time to waste on ridiculous offers with unrealistic "investors" (yup, I did that little quote thing with my hands and said "investors" with a lot of sarcasm)... so let me get that door for you. I think you should call the listing agent directly."

Barbara got a little snippy with me as she left but hey, that's okay. My skin is think. If you are a realistic investor looking for a good deal in Fort Wayne, give me a call. If you just watched a late night infomercial about getting rich quick in real estate and want to waste an agent's time... call somebody else.