Sell That House: Showing Instructions

Sell That House: Showing Instructions

Yes, it's the all important showing instructions.

Here is how it works. You are given a number to call and after you tell them who you are and when you want to see the property, they give you the instructions for showing the property.

It may go something like this:

• Can you come at a different time?
  • I thought that it was vacant.
  • Or, it is occuppied, but the owner will be out and does not want you to use the lockbox.
  • Or, can you come between 1:00 and 1:15? Do we have to look at the whole place within those 15 minutes or should we just drive by and take a picture?

• There is a key in the lockbox. The key is for the front door, but the lockbox is located on the back door.
  • Let me guess. The code for the lock box is "OSN" or "USA". It is so hard to reset those codes. Thank goodness for the electronic lock boxes. If only I could remember to update my access card.
  • At least, this is better than driving across town to get the key from the agent's office.
  • Why is the lock box on the back door? Do the owners not want anyone to know that the house is for sale; is it a secret, which, of course, would explain the for sale sign on the front lawn?
  • Or, do they not want anyone to know that the house is vacant? Of course, you really feel stupid, when you enter this "vacant" house and find the family having supper at the dining room table and giving you a frozen stare like you have come to chop them to pieces. "I had an appointment to show your house" you sheepishly state.
  • I do not know if the dining room experience or finding someone sleeping in each of the 4 bedrooms is worse.
  • Always knock first, even on a supposed vacant house.

• The house has an alarm. Once you enter the house, go through the foyer, through the living room, and then into the dining room where you will see the alarm panel. Just punch in the code "1234" and then hit "OFF".
  • Why is the alarm panel on the other end of the house? You could have just let me come in through the back door.
  • "Okay, I am in the dining room; Where is the alarm panel? Oh there it is on the opposite wall."
  • Why does the alarm keep beeping? Wasn't that the code to disarm it?
  • When you leave, just enter the code again, punch "ON", and you will then have 10 seconds to get out of the house. "Okay, everybody get outside, make sure I have a clear path to run out of here, and where is the light switch so I can quickly turn it off." Of course, the light switch is in the kitchen so you have to commit the exit path to memory as you try not to trip over the coffee table on your way out.

• The key to the garage and the key to the shed are in the kitchen.
  • Oh, here are some keys hanging on the kitchen wall. Now, which one of these 20 keys opens the garage.

• Do not let the cat out.
  • Thank you for the warning. Maybe I will stay outside instead of go in and start sneezing for the rest of the appointments.
  • And, how am I supposed to keep an animal from getting out if it wants to get out? The house is dark, the cat is right at the door ready to make a break for it, and I am supposed to stop it.
  • Has the cat been declawed or is it an attack cat?

• Do not worry about the dog. It is friendly and his name is "Big Buck" or he is locked in a cage in the basement.
  • Are you sure that he can not eat his way out of that cage I wonder as I hear him growling and snarling and moving the cage around?

• Keep the light on in the back of the basement, in the garage, and the back yard security light. Make sure the other lights are out.
  • Okay, and should I make sure that the iron and the toaster are unplugged as well?
  • And, what should I do with the other lights that were on when I got there? Is this a test to see if I have worthy Buyers or not?

• Be extra careful walking on the second floor; it is very weak. The owners are going to fix that before settlement.
  • Should I be wearing a hard hat?
  • Could not they have fixed the place before they put it on the market?

• Do not go into the den on the first floor.
  • I thought I was making an appointment to see the property, not to not see it.
  • Does that room not come with the house?

• More and more odd requirements could be part of the instructions.

If you really want to sell your property, then you can not be ridiculous in your requirements for the potential buyers who want to see it.

Have it ready for market and easy to show. It should be as easy to show and as enticing to buy as the vehicles in a new car show room.