I hate my son...and he knows exactly what I mean.

We were once called the "family of sarcasm" by someone who knew members of our family in different capacities and therefore was SURE that what he was saying was exactly true. We weren't insulted. Sarcasm is a biting form of humor that some people get and others don't. We get it, we enjoy it - I think it may actually be hereditary, from my family's side.

My husband's family, on the other hand, is all about dry wit. That must be the British in them, cordial, reserved, non-confrontational. I once saw a Monty Python skit where a motorist hit a bicyclist and while the motorist was at fault and horrified, the bicyclist kept apologizing for having gotten in the way. He insisted that his crumpled two-wheeler was just fine, that he needed no assistance despite his banged-up appearance and kept apologizing profusely to the offending driver. That is my husband's family.

Sarcasm is crude and rude if not understood by the receiving party. Dry wit is benign.

I was reminded of this by a conversation my son and I just had regarding his grades and the mock AP Psychology test they just took in his 12th grade class, as a measure of what might acutally happen when they do the real thing. He told me that he scored a 4 despite having totally skipped the essay and not having read or covered 3-4 chapters of the material in class yet. You can only go as high as 5 on these tests and most colleges/universities accept 3 for credit toward the course. (Read - free tuition.)

I commented to him that while he is completely capable of technological topics, and his choice of computer science as a major (without hesitation or trepidation) surely establishes that, he is equally capable of the "other brain" activity. He said he has learned that he is extremely androgynous and I believe that completely. I laughingly said, "That is why we disagree and I hate you so." For those of you out there who do not understand, that is the sarcastic version of "that is why we disagree and I love you very much in spite of/perhaps because of it." He laughed and said, "People hate what they cannot have." We laughed again and off he went to bed.

In another family this might be a recipe for disaster. In a business relationship, with unmatched personalities, it is a major recipe for disaster and should not be attempted at all. It all goes back to the personality profiles; I've referred to DISC before but there are so many other measures of personality. Bottom line, don't take chances, don't be overly familiar, don't assume. And don't expect forgiveness if you get it wrong. I hate my son...and he knows exactly what I mean. <3