Having Children can Effect your Social Status.

Many of you know the effect that children can have on your lives. Soooo many emotions let loose by the fact that a little part of yourself will carry on for the world to see.

I can still remember the day my husband and I decided to have kids, we were sitting in our family room (ironic, don't you think!) watching TV wondering what to do on that Saturday afternoon. We both looked at each other and thought, we are bored, let's have a kid!

Needless to say after a few months of disappointment we finally had achieved our goal and we anxiously awaited our arrival. Of course, we were the first amongst our friends to have children, we had the party house, the hang out spot.

Every holiday was a reason to gather friends and family for a barbaque or get together of some sort. "That's all gonna change once the baby comes." they all would say. "Nah!" we said to each other. Needless to say they were right!

But oh how much FUN we had, late night feedings, screaming all hours of the day and night, poopie diapers and no friends to be found. Our lives had DEFINITELY changed! It wasn't all bad, we loved making faces at our beautiful little boy! He was progressing with all of his milestones just like the book said he would.... unitil ....

He was almost two and his vocabulary was very limited. He didn't look at me or my husband and say "Ma or Mom or Da or Dad". He didn't zoom his cars around the room or put food on the "stove". Instead he would line up his cars, put together 10-20 piece puzzles, knew every letter of the alphabet, carried around pieces of his play food only to put them together with many other "objects" he would find around the house, unrelated. He didn't want to be held or hugged or kissed.

Our "perfect little boy" wasn't perfect (by everyone elses standards). Now what?

(BTW - both of my boys are perfect, just for the record!)

In two months we would be expecting our next bundle of joy, with the concerns arising for our first little guy we had to have him tested. Could it be Autism?"No, he has good eye contact" we would say to everyone, he doesn't stim or do rock or have twitches.

So, being the good parents that we are, decided to get him evaluated by a Developmental Pediatrician. Anxiously awaiting the appointment we began to question, well, maybe he could have it but he is very high functioning. The appointment came and went and it was official - he didn't have anything wrong. He was a boy, give him time.

What a relief we thought, the new baby came and our attentions were focused on him. A second little boy, who never stopped screaming! AHHHHH! Calgon take me away!

Needless to say our days and nights were long and hard, ok, now to make a long story short:

Our youngest son, who was failing to meet his milestones, was diagnosed at 13 months with Angelman Syndorme, a very rare disorder that effects the 15th Chromosome. He will probobly be non-verbal, have seizure disorder, may not walk, may never be potty trained, be cognitively no higher than a 5 year old throughout his life. But, how beautiful he is!

One month later, our oldest was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, a very high functioning form of Autism that effects the social and emotional aspects of his life. He was now almost 3 and a half.

So what do we do now? Well I must say, we went to DISNEY WORLD!

"And we have been every year ever since!"

We had the trip planned and it was a welcome relief from all of the new information we were having to absorb. What few friends we still had became fewer as our children would not or could not participate in a lot of the "normal" activities that our friends who now had children could.

Instead we have formed new relationships,with people who have an understanding of what we are going through on adaily basis. And even if they don't know exactly what we go through, they understand why we may not be able to do things, they accept our children for who they are PERFECT!

I read in a recent survey posted by Autism Speaks and IAN Network about how the relationships of families who have a member that is effected with Autism have viewed their relationships and it was astounding to me. 44% reported that the fact that their child (or family member) had Autism had a negative impact on their relationships with friends and their social network.

But then again, as I look back at my own, I tend to agree.

SO the next time you meet an old friend or new one that is dealing with the daily struggles of having a child or family member with any disability, give them a minute of your time and a lifetime of understanding! It will mean the world to them.