Arguments and Honest Discussions

I'm reading a book right now called, "Leading Change." It was written back in 1996, so it is kind of funny to read about the business culture back then in light of the recession we live in today.

The first chapter talks about establishing a sense of urgency in a failing or complacent corporation. It gives 9 reasons why corporations become complacent. As I was reading through the chapter, I came across reason number 7. The author states that when young employees would go out of their way to get outside feedback in regards to how the company was performing, they would be treated like "lepers."

Quote, "In that corporate culture, such behavior was seen as inapproprate because it might hurt someone, reduce morale, or lead to arguments (that is, honest discussions)."

Hmmmm. Lead to arguments...honest discussions. That's interesting.

When I argue with my wife, it doesn't feel like an honest disucssion. It feels like an argument. The reason is because, typically when you argue with your spouse you are fighting for different things. You believe it should be this way. They believe it should be that way. And you might not be working for the same thing - a good solution. That's because, in marriage we often "dig in" instead of hammering out the underlying issues.

The same thing happens in real estate. Sometimes we find ourselves at odds with the other party. And when the discussion becomes an argument, we usually "dig in" to defend our position. It is only when we focus on working towards a good resolution that we are able to use an argument as an honest discussion.

And that's the tricky part.

Too often we lose sight of the goal - selling the house. But when we keep that in mind and use it as our guiding principle, then we can have those tough discussions and find good solutions. That's because working through a tough issue with a larger guiding principle is different than just arguing with someone.

I've had many an argument where the turning point happened when someone said, "Hey, lets find a way to make this work. I know everyone is positioned right now, but what can we do to bring the two sides back together and work this out?"

Powerful words.

That's the kind of talk that solves problems and saves marriages, stops wars and sells houses.