I'm done with Ho Ho Ho!

Someone from Activerain tagged me for this stupid MeMe thing and honestly I'm glad they did. There are a few things old Santa would like to get off his chest and share with the world.

1. I hate all the elves....every last one of them! They are yappy, argumentative and lazy. I plan on replacing them with these girls. Ho!

2. I am allergic to reindeer dung. And it stinks to high heaven! How about a nice sports car with a Hemi?

3. I am sick and tired of yelling the same old line every year. Just for once I would like to say Hee Hee Hee instead of Ho Ho Ho.

4. Mrs. Claus is really my second wife. Heather Locklear was my first but she doesn't like the cold so she bailed.

5. For cryin' out loud. I'm a grown man. I don't want milk and cookies....next year can you please leave out a bottle of Jack and some spicy nuts.

6. Blitzen is gay. Yes, it's true. Not that there is anything wrong with that!!!!

7. I hate the color red! How about a smart three piece suit with a pinstriped tie.