Is there too much pressure in youth sports?

Sports are always good. Right? Sports is about competition, about team work, about challenge, all good. However, how early is too early? I remember back to my childhood. My family moved to Ecuador when I was 5 years old. In Ecuador, as is the case in most of South America, soccer is the main sport of choice. Kids get started early playing the game, loving the game, living the game. The same kids would one day choose a favorite team and from then on, follow that team with an unrivaled passion that they can hopefully pass on to their kids one day. I think back to when I started. First grade. The schools formed intramural sports and would have a great opening day ceremony for the children and their parents to enjoy, the parents could see their little ones look sharp in their cute uniforms. Best looking team and best looking princess would be elected, etc. The actual games, where First Grade A would play First Grade B, Second Grade C would play Second Grade D, and so on, took place during regular recess, and parents were mostly absent. We didn't have practices, or coaches even (coach was the grade teacher), we certainly didn't have trophies or medals. We just played to play. We learned the game and enjoyed ourselves while doing it. I don't really remember playing a tournament at that age when, with a trophy on the line, we needed to go to overtime and penalty kicks to settle a winner, because when the bell rang, game was over and it was back to class we go.

Fast forward some 30 years. In the US, on any random Saturday, we see scores of kids competing in any number of sports. Specialization starts early. Tournaments start early. Traveling teams (seriously?) start early. And unfortunately burn out starts early. What happened to letting the kids play? Today, if you don't start early, the feeling is you will fall behind and not get that scholarship. I'll go back to soccer, since that's the sport I love, grew up playing, and still play whenever I have the chance (and my aging body lets me). My two boys (6 and 4) love to play the sport. They love to go out in the yard and kick the ball, pass it around, try to score. On any given day, my 4 year old will come running and say "Dad, let's go play futbol." and I love that. I love that they love it, and I definitely love playing with them. I look at them and enjoy the way their faces beam up when they do a trick they have been trying to do, and I wonder, Would they feel the same way if rather than letting them play, I was forcing them to do so?

I wrote all that to write this. Last season I watched a tournament game in the U7 boys division. The two teams were evenly matched, ended up tied at the end of regulation, went to overtime, and finished the game still tied. Since only one team could advance, they had to take penalty kicks. That means each team picks 5 players to kick the ball and try to score. The winner would be the team who makes the most goals. Now picture this, you have to stand in front of the goal, put the ball down, drown the screams from the parents cheering you on, and the parents trying to psyche you out (you know it happens), you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, take the kick and if you miss, your whole team lost. After you think about all that, think about this...you're only six years old. Is that necessary? Do we really need to put a kid through that this early to prepare them for life? I get that life is not always fair, and I get that life is not always easy, but doesn't this sound a little too harsh?

I don't pretend to have an answer nor do I pretend to know everything there is about raising a healthy, well rounded individual, but I do know one thing, I'd rather my boys learn to love the game and play forever, rather than them learning to play the game and hate it later.