NEVER FORGET TO LAUGH! FAMOUS FUNNY QUOTES BY RODNEY DANGERFIELD....A TRUE LEGEND!

Rodney Dangerfield expired on October 6, 2004 and left a void in the comedy industry. But his quotes remind us that laughter is the essence of life. I hope you laugh as hard as I did reading these! I don't know about ya'll, but I needed this today......Enjoy!

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."

"I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing."

"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot."

"I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens."

"I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude; I didn't see the mouse trap."

"Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

"Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, "No, but I did get the license number".

"My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear."

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."

"I'm so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get."

"With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff."

"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."

"This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me."

"Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire."

As always, I welcome readers to visit my websites at http://www.txrealestateguide.com , http://www.aboutus.org/TxRealEstateGuide.com , http://activerain.com/jenniferdahl , for real estate information about and to search for homes within the Collin/Tarrant County Area. Contact me via email, jenniferdahl@judgefite.com , or call me at (817) 235-9382 for more information.