My neighbors, my parents.

I know my neighbors really well. In fact, very, very well. They are my parents. We've lived next door to one another for five years. Fortunately, they are for the most part, still quite independent and capable. None the less, it's good to be close - just in case.

Naturally, in these five years, I've noticed some changes. Most notably, a loss of memory with dad. He repeats stories and tells me things a few hours after I've already heard them. Mom often looks to gauge my reaction. Normally, I wink at her discreetly and pretend I'm hearing it for the first time.

He's my dad and he deserves my respect and attention. After all, he spent a lot of years listening to me, and offering good advice. Part of me wishes he was still "that guy." The one who offered a strong shoulder and sharp analysis. It's a difficult process, this aging.

Mom wishes he was still "that guy" too. She's fearful about the future and it shows. Never very confident, she now worries every waking hour - she's made it her job. It saddens me deeply. She's confided to me that she wants to "go first."

It's not likely that dad will outlive mom. Other than her constant stress about dying, and which one will go first, she's pretty healthy. She suffers from Essential Tremor, and has a few other minor ailments, but a lifetime of good eating habits and few vices have paid off.

Unless, of course, you want to be the one to "go first." I know that's why she's not afraid to ride in the car with dad. She's told me, "If we go - we go together - and that's just fine with me Debb." Well, it's not fine with me, or the the potential "others," an accident might involve.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get dad out from behind the wheel of the car for good. His eyesight is poor at night and his confidence exceeds his skills. He does, now at least, agree to let myself, or my husband drive when we visit family who live about an hour away. "Baby steps," I tell myself, "baby steps."

Overall, the experience of having them next door has been a positive one. During the day, they take care of our aging Pug and delight in the companionship of a pet, without the full-time responsibility. It works well for us too - and our 'other dog,' a Golden Retriever.

It was especially comforting to have them next door when my husband was traveling frequently for business. They'd often invite me to "go out " for dinner and we'd eat an early salad at one of our local restaurants. It was a sweet gesture.

I've borrowed milk and eggs in a pinch, and visa versa. We try to take them meals once or twice week too, and they often drop off a goodies for us. In short, we behave the way good neighbors often do and look out for one another.

The future promises many challenges, this I know for certain. It's comforting to know that I have a husband and family who will help me face those moments. In the meantime, I treasure each and every day I spend with these two fine people - my neighbors, my parents, next door.

Please Note: There are housing options for taking care of aging or ailing family members while offering both independent lifestyles. We sold our home five years ago and purchased the attached townhomes in the above renderings. It's worked well for us. Perhaps, we can brainstorm and come up with a solution for your situation. Let's explore your options.