Are we raising a generation of dried toast?

As a parent of two kids, recently I was incensed at a commentary on CNN entitled Parents, Your Kids aren't that Special which lashed out at parents who bring misbehaving kids to a restaurant, annoying the other patrons.

This and another episode bring me back to one of my favorite lines from the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" where Gus states that his daughter's fiance's parents are like "dried toast" in explaining how they were completely unexciting and boring people. I still laugh at this statement, but find it sad that it rings a number of bells at truth.

We attempt to do this at a very early age with kids here by insisting that they act like miniature adults. They are not adults! They are kids. Kids learn through play and should be constantly encouraged to view their world through excitement. My goals as a parent on the other hand are the following.

1. Kids have two volumes - loud and louder. Our goal is to keep them towards the "loud" range.
2. Prevent them from killing each other.
3. Keep them from "overexcitement" and specifically from deliberately annoying others. Throwing food across the table will be met with a strict punishment, but if their own plates are a mess that can be tolerated.

Recently my son was sent home with an incident slip where all of the kids in the class (over 20) were each given a scooter and my son and one of his friends tried to crash them together. The report from the teacher sounded ominous indeed and she checked off almost every element of bad behavior.

As parents, we punished him for this behavior - taking away his video games for two weeks (a lifetime for him) and restricting play friends, but we were also quite upset at the school. What do you expect when you hand twenty 5 year olds scooters! Why did they give them scooters in the first place without helmets!?

When we travel abroad, we can't help but notice that kids have much more of a free range there. Behavior that would certainly get someone kicked out of a store here is well within tolerance levels there - unless that place caters towards Americans, Canadians, or British.

Is the end result that we expect a population of perfectly behaved miniature people, that would end up being the next generation of "dried toast"?

And yes, Mr. Cafferty, my kids are that special. Unlike you, I do not believe having them sit at home is the best way for them to learn things. I prefer to spend time with my children so that they grow up to be affectionate and caring men.