When you get to a certain age - and younger viewers may want to turn the sound down at this point - it is recommended that you go through a short, but rather ego-deflating procedure called a colonoscopy which involves what Dave Barry calls your "behindular zone." It struck me recently that getting or refinancing a mortgage nowadays is rather like a financial colonoscopy.
Similarity #1. The preparation and anticipation is much worse than the actual procedure. Yes, and sometimes getting a mortgage will keep you up all night as well! As a consumer you're not too sure what's going on, but there seems to be a lot of paperwork involved...
Similarity #2. When they wheel you into the operating room, everything is laid bare. Even that tatoo on your left cheek that says "Amber" (or maybe "Roger") with a heart and an arrow. When you apply for or refinance a mortgage today ALL of your personal financial history is laid bare. There are no secrets, no fudging the figures. Tax returns, credit reports, W2's, paystubs, bank statements. You'll need a Letter of Explanation for the deposit of that birthday check from Aunt Maude, and another one to explain that inquiry on your credit report that says "Parent PLUS Loan" (it was for a Parent PLUS Loan - duh!).
Similarity #3. The doctor with the very small camera keeps going "Hmmm, I wonder what that is?" You joke, "Will you please tell my wife that my head isn't actually up there?" Getting or refinancing a mortgage today is no joking matter. Lenders want to know EVERYTHING and will often ask for seemingly unimportant information right when it gets close to funding. Well, it's important to them. Your mortgage broker or loan officer isn't holding these requests back just so he or she can scare you with them right at the end. That's just the way lenders are in 2011.
Similarity #4. A colonoscopy and its preparation is uncomfortable, tedious, and seems to last forever. Then it's over and you can eat again - just like getting a mortgage. The endless requests for paperwork and information, the tedious changes in rates as you're waiting to lock. Then it's done and life goes on. You have a new home, or a new and hopefully better mortgage. And you can use your credit card again.
Do's and Don'ts of Getting or Refinancing a Mortgage
Do get all the paperwork your broker or loan officer asks for, as quickly as possible. Go thru the list again and make sure it's all there.
Don't complain - he's trying to help you get your loan. You'll be asked for updated copies of the same stuff as you get closer to funding as well. Be ready, and move fast.
Do make sure you understand everything you're being asked to pay for, and how much your monthly payment is going to be. If you don't understand something DO ask!
Don't even THINK about any large purchases in cash, or worse, with credit, until at least a couple of weeks after your loan is closed. You may need furniture for the new house, but if you try and buy it before your loan closes, you may be denied.
Do tell your broker or loan officer if you are planning to go away for more than a day or two. That may be just the time when the loan is likely to close and if you're not available, you may lose the rate lock, or worse.
Don't miss a payment on your existing mortgage! If you're refinancing you may assume that next month you'll be paying your new lender so you cancel your payment to the old one. Big mistake. Always check with your loan officer or broker before you skip a payment or you may get the black mark of a missed mortgage payment on your credit report.
Do make sure you have a will or better, a trust. If you've got a mortgage then you've got property and who would you rather decide who it goes to when you die - you, or the probate judge?
Unlike a colonoscopy, you don't have to be over 50 to get a mortgage! Getting a mortgage is not as easy as it used to be (for good reason), so have all your paperwork in order, be ready for those last-minute requests, and take advantage of these wonderful low interest rates while you can. When they rise I doubt we'll see them again for a long time.
PS If your lifeclock has reached 50 or later, please DO get your colonoscopy. It's really not that bad (I had my first one last year. Rats, now you know how old I am...), and could save you a world of hurt. For some real laughs check out 1) Dave Barry's colonoscopy (text), 2) Billy Connolly's colonoscopy (video).
Sunnyvale, California Eichler Homes
Did you know that 
This year the seniors has the 
