Anne Marie Malfi, Real Estate Marketing Consultant/Virtual Asst, Bucks County,PA

I think that no matter what position you hold - a real estate agent, broker, consultant, stager, etc. you are ultimately a coach to someone.

The meaning of coach (verb) is to train; to teach; to instruct; to guide; to counsel.

• Real Estate Agents coach someone selling their home through the complicated and ever changing process and guiding them through their decisions.
• Someone that works for you or with you as is the case of a broker or a more seasoned agent guiding a new agent.
• Perhaps you're a stager consulting a seller or agent on how to best show the home to achieve the best results.
• Maybe you're someone looking towards someone like me to assist you with your marketing efforts to guide you through how to best market your listings and services so that you can focus on other important things.

A big misconception of coaching is that many feel they have to know "all" the answers. I don't agree that you need to know everything. My belief is that coaches don't just teach but they instead facilitate. I'd be the first person to tell you that when I don't have expertise in a particular area. Could this cause me to not have a project from a particular client - perhaps? But I believe it opens the door of opportunity open even wider. Why?

My being honest with a potential client builds a trust. By simply referring that person to a trusted and recommended colleague that specializes in that area I have told that person they are important to me and that speaks volumes to a client. Who will they think of when they need someone to assist them with marketing, or needing another referral and even mentioning my services to their colleagues and friends?

Think back to a situation in which you spoke with someone about a particular subject - someone that touted themselves as an expert. As you got further into the conversation and began asking questions, maybe you discovered this "guru of whatever" really didn't know much at all. Did you get a gut feeling from this person that had you interested enough to work with them? Did you trust them?

Coaching, teamwork and building a trust got me thinking about how I saw all of this played out recently on TV.

Not sure if you watched Celebrity Apprentice's final episode, but in that episode, Joan River's room designer quit on her and she found herself scrambling to get her room setup. Did she quit or simply do it herself? NO! She gathered the people that were part of the charity she was raising money for and they all too gladly accepted her invitation to setup the final room for her event. Together with her coaching, they created a room they were all proud of. Because they were involved and responsible for this creation their pride fueled their energy to create a room that spoke to the judges and ultimately created a win-win for Joan and her charity.

Joan learned a great and valuable lesson. She learned just how helpful people could be when they are asked and given the opportunity. She had a team that was fully vested in this project. She had a team that was full of experts from various areas of business and it showed. Don't you think your clients would appreciate and benefit from this kind of expertise?

In the end, Joan was named the Celebrity Apprentice and much of her success came from the simple fact that she gave her entire team ownership of their creation. She didn't do it alone and she made sure she gave credit to everyone involved. She involved the right people, allowed them to bring value to her team and all their strengths combined brought them great success. Not only did she gain recognition for her charity but she got them the results they were hoping for - isn't that what our clients expect from us? Don't they deserve the very best and isn't it our job to get them that even if it means getting help from others to get them those results?

Are you open enough and vulnerable enough like Joan to ask for help?

What possible benefits might you gain by being willing to ask for help with the challenges you are facing?

Or are you a Know-it-all and can do it all on your own?

When and where have you recently asked for help and what did you gain from it?

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Ready to take your marketing to new levels? ~ Anne Marie Malfi ~ Malfi Marketing Solutions ~ Copyright 2009

This post is dedicated to the kid in all of us. Not only do I hope it will get you to reflect on some of your "great" childhood memories (who couldn't use a good thought right about now?) but that it also gets you thinking about how we all need to take chances, risks and dive right into life.

Summer is fast approaching and many of us will be visiting our local swimming pools to beat the summer heat and hopefully it will allow us to interact with many people from our communities. After a recent visit back home to Boston to see my parents, This conversation got me thinking about my summers as a kid and the time we spent at the beach/pool area where we grew up.

Have you ever gone out onto a high dive board? I did as a kid ~ I was fearless back then (won't do it today though!) But what I can remember from my experience is climbing the steps with great determination and looking around thinking this is so great - I'm going to jump in and have everyone look at me because of my amazing "Olympic" dive. I enthusiastically climb to the top and... I freeze. It's much higher than it looked from down below.

Kids are coming up behind me waiting for their turn so there's no turning back now - the only way down is to take my dive. I figured it must be safe - people before me went down without injury. Closing my eyes, praying that I don't hit the water with a huge belly flop or worse - I plunge towards the water. Within seconds I'm in the water and my next thought is swim as fast as I can to the side of the pool ~ to get in line to take another dive.

Every new endeavor we get involved in is just like that feeling of jumping from the high dive board. We are often initially filled with excitement and a strong desire to do something only to have fear and concern creep in that we're not going to be able to do it and do it successfully. Maybe it's making those cold calls to prospects or former clients we haven't spoken to in a very long time or attending a meeting in our community, maybe public speaking. It could be learning a new marketing tool or trying to grasp SEO strategies that don't make sense to us when it seems to come so easily to our colleagues.

The feelings or thoughts of not doing something successfully keeps us locked in the same routine and perhaps not growing from challenging ourselves. I'm sure you've heard it before - we often learn more from our mistakes and failures. Why can't we remember that when it comes to taking on something new?

Once we take that plunge we realize that by having the courage to not only climb that ladder but to take the actual plunge helps us to grow and truly experience things out of our comfort zones. We let go.

We are in fact capable of much more than we ever give ourselves credit for or more than we ever realized. All too often we limit ourselves either by what we've heard from others or based on what we have experienced so far in life. We get into a comfort zone that doesn't allow us to keep learning and experience something new ~ maybe something we didn't know we'd be really good at.

Do you know anyone that doesn't want to plunge into something new? Are you one of those people? Are you someone that only looks straight ahead and doesn't look to the right or left or up and down?

I encourage you today to look within yourself and discover your own high dive board.

What are you excited about in your life - both personally and professionally?

Are there things or people in your way, keeping you from taking the plunge?

Instead of having the thought "I'm not going to be able to do this" why not think "I can do this, I know people who can help me get to where I want to be" - trust yourself and surround yourself with people you trust to not only take you to the high dive board but to jump off it to enjoy all the possibilities that await you.

Perhaps it comes down to seeing our world as if we were still children.

Are you willing to take the plunge into something new?

What is paralyzing you right now from looking at "new things" with a sense of wonder vs. fear?

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Ready to take your marketing to new levels? ~ Anne Marie Malfi ~ Malfi Marketing Solutions ~ Copyright 2009

We form relationships for many reasons - some a common interest is shared others we share a common purpose. I think relationships can be compared to the foundation of a home - their strength comes how the structure is set on the ground from the very beginning.

I think we can all agree and relate to the fact that we all have many demands placed on us when it comes to work - from our appointments, paperwork, marketing, social networking, staying in touch with clients and creating new business opportunities. Additionally we have demands placed on us from family, friendships, commitments, the many roles we play, and in our communities. Sometimes these demands and the overwhelming feelings of all we have on our plates, often distract us from nurturing the connections that are important to us. Often we think the people in our lives (family to clients) will be there and often it's too late when we realize just how fragile those relationships really were.

There are different categories of relationships that have varying degrees of needs for contact and interaction.

1. There are some relationships that can be so strong simply by sharing a yearly holiday card or phone call;
2. There's the relationship that enjoys monthly contact via the phone or in person to keep it strong and alive;
3. There's the weekly contact with the person that perhaps you are currently working with or with a friend or client that wants to share experiences and confidences
4. And then there's the daily contact relationships - perhaps someone you work with in your office, a current client or your spouse and children that you see and interact with every day.

Being associated with someone is not just about your needs but their needs as well. You can't simply hold the belief that because you feel you have created a relationship that it will remain strong by simply doing nothing. Just like a car or a home needs regular maintenance, so do our relationships.

What are the simple things you can do to maintain these relationships?

Sent an email or even better a hand written note to let that person know you were thinking of them. Don't forget those birthday and anniversary cards too - who doesn't love receiving an unexpected note that says you're important to me.

Make time for the people you choose to have in your life (family, friends, and clients) Sometimes a simple break in the middle of a busy and hectic day or week can do wonders for us. We all have to eat - commit to having lunch with someone once a week or month - whatever will work for you.

Call someone - reach out to that client you haven't spoken to in a while - ask them how things are going, find out about what they've been up to with the house, with the kids and in the community. Listen well. Often we discover lots of great information that can open up new opportunities for us from a referral, potential business down the road, or something we can get involved in within the community.

We all read so much these days whether on line or magazines and newspapers to keep up with the market and world. Send an article, a link or a small item to someone because you think it will benefit them.

Relationships provide us with comfort, safety, shelter and constant movement in the circle of life. If we don't pay attention to those bonds, how they were established and what's needed to keep them strong, they will break and most likely when we needed them the most. Often times we take relationships that appear strong to us for granted - we think they're indestructible and able to withstand anything - we don't worry about them.

Some simple advice to take if you desire to keep those important relationships important:

Think about the purpose of what you do. Is it to have a friendship, visibility in your community, being the person someone thinks about when their sphere of influence needs assistance. Know Why: Know why you are maintaining contact with this person, know why you are attending this meeting, know why you are marketing, reaching out to prospects, and why networking is important to you.

Don't put things off. You've heard the line: "there's no such thing as a best time" why not think this instead "there's no time like the present." Waiting for things to slow down, get better or change will most likely have you put off that call, sending that note or making any sort of contact and causing that relationship to fizzle out.

Do vs. thinking about doing. Just like we learned in school, you don't get credit for thinking about the assignment - you get it by actually doing it. Most people won't care that you thought about contacting them they will be far more tuned in with you if you actually reach out to them.

Focus and enjoy the benefits. Often times we will reach out to clients and our sphere with very little returned response. Our efforts will not always result in an instant payoff. I simply want to remind you and have you focus on the fact that you're maintaining contact. Think about it - if you told your previous client that you would be there for them even after you left the closing table how much impact it could have if you did just that. Who are they going to think of when they need someone, some advice or they know someone that needs your help? Work on creating bonds that will stand the test of time.

Plan

Just like a vacation, trip or a party needs planning so too does our frequency of contact with our sphere.

Most of us have databases that house our client information. Plan those calls and contacts. I recently visited a craft store and picked up a whole package of little note cards that I can use to write a little note - purchase some for yourself and share them. Look through your database and identify someone that you haven't been in touch with in a long time. I know it's scary but reach out even from a distance and let them know you're interested in keeping the connection.

Schedule

As I mentioned in my previous post about using your calendar to keep you on track - fill in your social obligations - both personal and professional - make room for everything and everyone important in your life. Review your week and determine how you're going to spend your time and where you will put your focus. Schedule time to network - both online and offline. Pick a time each day or week - whatever works for you - to connect. Connections come from shared experiences and I think many of us believe that phrase "seeing is believing" - show by your actions and your behavior that someone is important to you.

Read

As I suggested earlier in this post, clip articles, send links or mention a great book to let someone know they're being thought of, your connection exists even if they can't physically see you. We all read so much in any given day - read with people in mind.

I'll end with this important question: Are you too busy working to keep in touch with those that truly matter?

1. Identify relationships that need your attention.

2. Create habits and routines that you can commit to on a regular basis

What do you do to maintain all your important relationships?

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Ready to take your marketing to new levels? ~ Anne Marie Malfi ~ Malfi Marketing Solutions.com ~ Copyright 2009

Have you ever had this said to you? "All you ever do is work."

I think many of us at some point or another has heard that phrase from the people in our lives, but I'd like to say that I'm not suggesting we shortchange our work life in order to have a personal life. I believe that work is a part of life, we all need to provide for our families and it's especially meaningful if you have passion for what you do.

What things do you love to do? Spend time with family and friends, read, cook, volunteer, a hobby, exercise - what's on your list of favorite things to do?

Work might very well be on that list. Or perhaps it's not the work you're doing today but what you want to be doing at some point.

How do you spend your time? Are you currently working long hours? What do you do before work? How about after work? Do you ever take a day or even a half day off? When it comes to work it's important to think about how much of that time spent working is doing the things you love about your work. Does it make you want to spring out of bed in the morning or do you dread it? Perhaps you're missing balance.

Look at your list of favorite things to do - are you incorporating them into your day/week? Can you make room for them? Is it possible to get help in certain areas to free up some time to do those things? For those of us that are type A's it's often very hard to let go, say no and not be in control of every aspect of our work. But what are the alternatives? Will be so tied to our work that there's no one there at the end of the day to enjoy the fruits of our labor?

Finding balance between all the things you love - those things on your list and yes, work too, will ensure that you are providing a complete life experience for yourself and the people in your life. Think about it, if you're cooped up in an office all day and into the night, you could easily see that exercise might be lacking or you're feeling the effects of burnout. Think about how great it feels to be walking down the street on a nice day even for a few minutes to get some fresh air and the effects that has on you when you get back to your work. The point is, sometimes we all need a break - it can do wonders for filling our buckets and when our buckets are full - we have more great things to give.

I like to think about it in this way: you're not going to eat the same meal for dinner every night and feel fulfilled - you need some variety.

Here are four things you can focus on to ensure you're keeping things balanced and interesting:

1. Keep a calendar - schedule all your non work stuff first - appointments, exercise, family time and events. Now add all the stuff you need to do for work. I highly recommend leaving some space in there for things that may come up so that you are not overscheduled and overwhelmed.

2. Set limits for yourself. Perhaps you were like me, spending many hours throughout your day on social networking sites and then realizing you still had a pile of work to get to and not enough time to get it all done. I have heard many people say they just don't have the time to be on social networking sites because it takes up too much time. I have learned to set aside chunks of time each day to dedicate to certain tasks so that I'm better able to manage all that I need to do.

3. Pretend you're dating again. "Date" your spouse, significant other, family members, friends and even yourself. Schedule time with them and commit to it the same way you would a work appointment or doctor's appointment. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant either - it could be as simple as walking with a friend, cooking dinner together or setting aside some time for yourself to enjoy that book that you bought months ago that's still sitting there unread.

4. Reflect, examine and change. I have realized over the past week that too often our lives get off track and off balance and we might not realize it until it's too late. We find ourselves caught up in our routines, feeling trapped and unfulfilled because we are not giving ourselves a balance in all that we do. When we step back to reflect, we are ensuring we are living a balanced life. "It's your life - live it your way - not the way you think others want you to live it."

When I think of balance I imagine a dancer - they are taught over long periods of time and countless hours of practice to find their center and they can instantly return their balance. It's up to us all to find our center because until we do we will continue to be off balance and at odds with our world and ourselves.

What will you do today to restore balance to your life?

If you feel balanced, how are you achieving that?

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Ready to take your marketing to new levels? ~ Anne Marie Malfi ~ Malfi Marketing Solutions ~ Copyright 2009

I don't know about your mom, but I think my mom has special physic powers. She always seems to know, even knowing she lives in Boston and I live in PA, just when I need a phone call. Often these phone calls involve her giving me the simple gift of listening and other times she is giving me some much needed advice on parenting, love and work. She just seems to have a special knack and way of giving sound advice (and she does it in a way that is not pushy and demanding) in such a loving and supportive way.

Perhaps your mom has given you some similar advice and you can relate to some of these lessons:

"Give yourself credit for all the good things you do, and forgive yourself for your mistakes. You'll have more than one chance to do things."

My mom has and still continues to remind me that it's ok to make mistakes as long as I learn from them. I have made many mistakes in life and gone through some tough times and throughout them all I always knew that my mom loved and supported me. She never made me feel badly about the tough decisions I had to make and never told me I was making the wrong decision - she just listened and guided me.

"Fight the wars, not the battles!"

Here my mom was telling me that she knew it was going to be tough being a mom to a special needs child, but she believed God gave me this task because he knew just how strong I was and that I could provide for her in a way no one else could. She has reminded me because she personally experienced it, that children grow up fast and I should enjoy every single moment with my daughter. My mom also taught me that I can't live my daughter's life for her but I can teach, guide, support and love her unconditionally. Even in those moments that she isn't happy with me and not liking me - she will know just how deeply I have loved her. You were so right mom!

"Don't try to please everyone"

Just be yourself and know that the people who are still there, sticking by me through all things in my life are there because they choose to be, because they love and respect me.

"Pursue your own dreams and follow your own heart. Don't make life choices based on what you think other people want you to do."

What I've come to realize is that my mom is one of the smartest, strongest, most loving and selfless people I have ever met.

She sacrificed a lot for her children - being home with us when we were little and even for when we'd get home from school, always making sure we ate a home cooked meal and enjoyed it together as a family every night, she was always there with a hug when we were upset, giving my sister and I advice about boys, making all our prom dresses, teaching us how to cook, cry and laugh and she attended every important event in our lives from school plays, to sporting events, to our wedding days and now events with our children.

I watched my mother unconditionally support and love her husband, (aka her best friend) and how she appreciated all that he provided his family. Yes, my mom was part of the generation that stayed home and cared for her children and took care of the home while my father was busy working three jobs. She did it proudly and without a single negative word or complaint. She was happy with this role and I for one am so thankful for all she did for me and my siblings.

As a teenager, my mother took on opening up her own business - a bridal shop in Braintree, MA. She and her business partner have worked over 20 years together providing beautiful dresses, experiences and shared much laughter and tears with women from all over New England. Go into their shop and you will see pictures and albums full of a woman who have purchased their dresses and gowns from my mother's bridal shop, thanking them for all they did to help them have a very memorable wedding. A true testament to the amazing customer service they provide each and every customer.

My mom has done it all.

1. She has raised four children and provided them with great advice and life lessons to be good and productive people that can give back to the world.
2. She has supported her sister through losing her husband and now has to watch her only sister (much like her father) "live" with Alzheimer's.
3. She has lovingly supported her husband as he worked three jobs to provide for his family while she took on much of the child rearing and household things.
4. She has created a very successful business that has impacted so many women's lives as they prepared for their "special" day.

Yes, my mom is still teaching many of the lessons I still need to learn from her. She continues to remind me of the person I can be, congratulates me on the kind of mom I am to my daughter, and she beams with pride in how I have dedicated myself to my company and the clients I support.

Without fail, each and every time we speak she tells me how proud she is of me, the woman and mother I've become and that all those things are my gift back to her.

Funny ~ because all along I thought I was the one receiving the gift!

Many people as they starting getting on with age, start thinking about the legacy they are leaving behind, and I'm not talking about their actual belongings, but experiences and lessons they've shared with the special people in their life. Mom, I don't know if you know this but you have certainly left your mark. My mother has provided an amazing legacy - a legacy of love.

Be sure to tell your mom, not just on Mother's Day, but every day, what she truly means to you, how she has inspired you and the difference she's made in your life.

I wish all the mom's out there a very Happy Mothers Day. I love you mom and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you've done and all you've provided in a way only you could.

My mom of course has shared so much more than I captured here. I even got advice "to wear clean underwear every day because you just never know when you'll be in an accident." LOL Like the doctors would care what my underwear looked like vs. tending to my injury!

What heartfelt or funny words of wisdom and advice has your mom shared with you that you remember and even pass onto your kids?

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Ready to take your Marketing to new levels? Anne Marie Malfi ~ Malfi Marketing Solutions.com ~ Copyright 2009