Bob Foster

Several years ago, before I decided to become a realtor, I looked back on my experience of arriving in rural Ontario in 1976 knowing very little about country life. I decided to start a little website for people interested in making the transition from an urban to a rural area with information about things like wells, septic systems, medical services, and a host of other topics. It has grown through time, and I am looking forward to others joining in the effort by providing additional material about green technologies.

The Google rating system takes your location into account, so this site may not come up for you, as it does for us locally, as the #1 ranked site for searches of the terms "moving to the country", but the fact that it is there even in our area suggests that a lot of people have found it useful.

Since I have gotten into real estate I have carved out a bit of the site for advertising listings, but most of it is still a light-hearted, story-telling version of information about country living. I would invite you to visit, and, if you have something to add - with a credit to you of course - please send it along.

Here's the address: MovingtotheCountry.ca

One of my clients is anticipating a move from Manitoba to our part of rural Ontario, and he came up with this bit of country humour while he was doing research online. I haven't seen it before, and I don't know the source, but it looks like one of those things that could be easily adapted to many parts of the USA and Canada.

I assured him that we aren't all quite as redneck as the article suggests, but there are places where folks would say "Yup" to almost every line.

Enjoy!

***

Welcome to Ontario

Just in Time for Summer Vacation

THE RULES OF RURAL ONTARIO ARE AS FOLLOWS

Listen up City Slickers!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap straight, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Hwy 7 & 401 goes east and west, Hwy 15 & 416 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 combines and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural Ontario waves. It's called 'being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat meat and potatoes. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer hunting season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. There's little for 'vegetarians' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. Ontario Hockey League and Minor Hockey is as important here as the Maple Leafs and Montreal Habs, and more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have Universities and Community Colleges. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Armed Forces. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. (Refer back to #1).

20. TWO inches of snow & ice isn't a blizzard - it's a vacation. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades and tractors with snow blowers will have you out the next day.

A true Ontarian will send this on!!!

Those of you who have followed my blogs for some time will be aware that I am Canadian, and that I am very proud of my son, James, who has been serving for some time with the forces in Afghanistan. He is home now, and he took some time during one of his first days back to write to family and friends and tell them about his experiences over there.

With his permission, I am going to post some of his comments in this blog, because I find they give a much more comprehensive explanation of what is happening there than anything I have heard from CNN or Fox news.

***

It is so good to be home. I just wanted to drop you one final note about my time overseas, and pass on a few of the things I learned along the way. The bottom line is that I am very glad I went as it was an amazing experience, and I have learned an incredible amount about the world at large, and Afghanistan in particular.

You hear a lot of commentary about Afghanistan, and many people complaining that we are not seeing any improvement over there, and how it is time to bring the troops home. The thinking is that we have not made a difference and that we should not be wasting our lives over there. They have a valid point, but my first-hand experience is that Afghanistan is one of the poorest countries on earth and they desperately need our help. I hope to explain a little about why it is not more stable, but please keep in mind that these are just my opinions and not necessarily fact based, and I hope to give you a different perspective on what is happening over there.

The city of Kabul has an estimated population of 3 million people, although it is impossible to truly tell how many live there. I know there are nice parts of the city, as I have seen pictures, but I have never seen them myself. I have seen the bulk of the city, north and east from where I lived, and it is poor as dirt. The shops line the road and are little more than thin concrete walls in a dirt parking lot. The majority of the homes are often in unfinished apartment buildings or rough buildings, with many people living there but little in the way of amenities. Power is off in the city frequently and running water is rare: there are hand pumps all over where the residents line up daily to pump out the water they need for the day. Indeed, water is such an issue that the airport has become a very interesting place for westerners because any Afghans using the airport take advantage of the running water and line all the sinks washing their faces, feet, and armpits (washing your hands after peeing is usually out of the question). You can imagine that so many people living within a city with so few services is very straining.

These stores that line the street will have raw meat hanging unrefrigerated, and fresh baked bread is carried from door to door by dirty hands, but really they are doing the best they can with what they have. It really is quite shocking to see the conditions that people live in because we have all seen poor areas, but nothing to the extent of this. Like I said, I travelled throughout the city, but never saw any nice sections. Even in the semi-protected zones where the embassies are located, the walls are high and always lined with constantino wire and guard towers. It looks like a city at siege, and indeed we treat it as such. Whenever we drive from one location to another we always travel in convoys, with weapons and armour, and in constant communication with help. We travel through the city at speed and with aggressive techniques to keep suicide bombers from being able to target us. This driving has made it hard to build rapport with the citizens though, because their typical encounter with us is our convoy's blocking them at intersections so we can get through quickly. They do not often see the good side of us.

My sadness with that city is that, for our safety and normal lifestyle, we have totally segregated ourselves from society and therein lies the problem: we are trying to help but kept very much at arm's length from those that need our help the most. For example, we tried to buy all of our bottled water from a local company, but they failed to keep the filters cleaned so the ecoli count got too high and we cancelled the contract. So now we get all our bottled water from Dubai instead of pouring money back into the city. This is a massive problem as there are no standards for even produce or meat, as evidenced by the hanging meat, so we cannot buy much from the local economy. Everything gets trucked in and that means, once again, that money being spent is not going back into the local economy. Obviously this is tough: we want to buy locally, but if the standards are not high enough for us, then we are stuck with buying from away and importing it. The scope of this problem cannot be overemphasized: we spend millions and almost none of it stays within the country!

Combine that problem with the biggest problem affecting the country: jobs. There is little expertise, so little contracting can be done on the economy. So, we bring in western contractors and the downward cycle continues. We do hire locals for many services, but none of them are high paying so building good will is difficult. With so many of us in the country, but so little money going into the local economy, you can imagine the frustration of the average Afghan. Indeed, the millions we are spending often end up back in the pockets of western companies who are contracted for providing the services we need to live and work there. What a difficult cycle to break.

And that leads to why there are still Taliban and bad guys. A lot of the money the country uses to survive on is based on the opium trade but we are trying to lead them away from opium production. So, the drug lords are able to maintain public support if they share some of their wealth and are able to recruit young men who do not have jobs otherwise. This is why we are still fighting, and why the situation has not improved. However, all this time we are providing enough security for the government to build the police and the army, build infrastructure, and develop policies and procedures. So, the basics are on the mend even though we do not see that through our media, and the overall population does support our presence even despite all of our problems because the alternative is one they have already faced: when the international community last turned away the country imploded.

But when it comes to fighting, what we do not hear about is the losses the Afghans are taking. They are unbelievable! The Afghan army and police is fighting hard for their country and they are taking the brunt of all losses. We cannot complain that they are letting us fight their war for them, au contraire, they are so keen to take the fight to the enemy that we often have to hold them back. They have sheer determination to turn this situation around and the military personnel see this and are proud to help them because they try so hard.

So, this is a long haul, and we have many issues to address to fix the problems, but the good news is that the full scope of the various problems is coming to light and the goverment is working with the international community to start solving the problems. I think it is going to be a generation before they are able to fully contribute to the international community, but it is underway thanks to the security that is present especially in the city. Should we stay? Good question. I hope we can find a way to get out of the thick of the fight, but still help rebuild and be a part of this incredible project of bringing this country back into the fold of nations. I feel proud to have done my small part and wish the Afghans all the best as they travel down this difficult road.

There's always time for a bit of humor, so I hope you enjoy this story:


When the last of their three children was about to leave home, my parents decided to buy a smaller house. The Real Estate sign went up.

A week later, a second "For Sale" sign appeared two doors away.

"Soon you'll have new families on either side of you," my mother remarked to the neighbor whose house was in the middle. "We're thinking of putting up our own sign," she replied wistfully. "It would read: 'Was it something we said?' "

Story credit: http://www.myrealtyguide.net/real-estate-jokes/Buyers-and-Sellers.html

It always takes time for the statistics regarding home sales and average prices to be processed so, as I have said before, trying to predict what will happen next by looking at sales statistics is a lot like driving by looking in the rear view mirror.

For a more immediate reading on what is happening, I would like to offer you my personal experience.

At the beginning of April I had five properties listed for sale. Of those, two have sold firm (removal or fulfillment of all conditions) in the past 10 days. I have also picked up one new listing in that same time (but I could still use more if you are thinking of selling your property!)

This level of activity means that people have grown tired of waiting to see what is happening with the economy and they are resuming normal life, including buying and selling real estate. It's great to see the market come alive again.