Darrin Friedman

“Growing up is hard to,” someone somewhere said, sometime ago. Didn’t they?

Two years ago I began a journey - to take an underachieving office and rebuild it into something, well - special. Over time, we have made amazing strides towards the vision in my head of what we should be. We have been able to succeed in the kind of market where other’s are being challenged.

How? Simple - it’s the people that call The Chevy Chase Office theirs!

I know what you're thinking. This is one of those self-promoting ad blogs. It's not. Keep reading!

Anyway, back to the point. Building an office sounds easy, doesn’t it? Fill the office with talent and watch the numbers explode into a concophany of light and sound.

Well, to large extent that's true. Recruiting and finding very talented people is one part, but, helping them grow is the other.

And in one very special case, I did this two years ago, by hiring a very talented woman, and through a partnership together, I watch her become a very special agent.

BUT, what happens when an agent like her, one of your own, one that you found and helped groom and grow, decides that she needs to leave the nest for a different kind of office experience? One you know you cannot provide her?

The answer? You have to let them fly. This happened to me this week.

Three days ago she told me she wanted to move to my sister office in Bethesda just three miles away. It was tearing her apart, and she wished she could be split in two, but she needed to do it this because she thought it it was time. She wanted to experience the other way.

The other way.

Now, the distance may be short, and we may be the same company, but the cultures between my office and the other could not be more polar opposite. I am the bizarro world to their traditionally run, family like, neighborhood like, warm fuzzy office run by a 30 year veteran manager (who, though extremely talented could not do what I do, nor I what she does). To the point, I could see right away, I had to let her go because I could never be what she thought she needed now.

For me, I have been determined since day one on the job I wanted to find business focused, innovation first, independent marketing experts who could, with me (I hope), find their full potential.

In many cases this works great - and for it did in very tangible ways. She improved more than 400% in volume since she joined my office. But for her, my culture lacked something she was longing for: an office run in the traditional way, not my way.

And when I realized I could not be who I was not, regardless of the fact we both knew she would be giving up on the aspects of the business I focus on, it tore us both apart.

Yesterday, I asked my Jedi Master a question: “When does it stop hurting.”

His answer was profound as ever. Being happy for someone, especially one with whom you have had so much affect, is a sign of maturity and strength.

Ah, maturity. That again. If being mature means not devoting myself whole heartedly to my people I wasn’t sure I could.

So, as I left his office, trying to find the will to be happy for her, and for my sister office for gaining such a wonderful person let alone talent, I realized, maybe for the first time, just maybe I really am growing.

And even though it sucks, and it hurts, and it will be hard to look towards her office and see an empty desk - I think for a second and conclude the stark reality of our business - her desk won’t be empty long. I will fill it. Not with her, but with another budding star with whom, through hard work and direct partnership, will grow to levels of success we cannot yet see or even predict.

So, as she leaves her mark on me, with her gracious kindness, I know now I should feel good. Because I left my mark on her.

And the simple fact is that by making each other better people and professionals, it has made the whole journey worth it.

The CB Blog Estate

Something happened to me this week that has never happened: an agent leaving my office trashed me on FaceBook. In other words, I was slimed!

Now, I had a good relationship with this agent, and after two years of doing this I have hired agents and lost agents, and I know that sometimes it's just not a good match.

Usually, when an agent leaves I always wish them well, because the truth is things don’t always work out. In this case I felt sincere in my wish for him to start anew - but when I found out about his public (social networking) critique of having to actually pay what he owed on his agent account before I allowed his license to transfer, I admit, it affected me.

Why? Because he made it personal, and way public!

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should eat his debt and call it doing business. But I'm tired of eating "bad debt," and I believe in accountability and running a business.

Now don’t get me wrong, i'm not naive enough to believe that everyone loves me. In fact, I know I'm somewhat polarizing. Public success can do that. But it's another thing to hear about yourself in a status update.

The fact is, I love social networking. Nothing has helped me grow my office better. I have been able to bring in some of the finest agents I have ever met by meeting them first on-line, and I have been able to connect with people all over the country because of the people power of Twitter, Active Rain, LinkedIN and FaceBook, but now having experienced the dark underbelly of the beast I feel gun-shy, wary, and maybe even a little miffed.

I have been slimed, and getting over it - well - I’m sure I will, but it still hurts. Maybe because, unlike in the real world, I can read all about it.

I am so confused.

Can someone please tell me what, in all that is holy, the Stimulus Package - oops, I mean the American reinvestment plan, will do to help this industry get off the shnide? I’m seriously loosing it. Here’s why:

1) Transparency? NOT! Maybe because I am responsible for actually giving answers that mean something, before Tuesday, and before the President actually signs the bill, my agents expect me to have some answers on how the bill is going to effect our clients today.

Now, like you, I received the email from the NAR President explaining all the influence they mustered to help us out, but no one has yet to explain to me what it all means.

So we get a tax credit. Who gets one? When? If you are already under contract, does that count? Where will it show up on the HUD?

Transparency? Hello!!!!????? I’m dying here.

2) Answers anyone? Hell no! Who will qualify for mortgage relief? If one of our clients is already under foreclosure, do they get help? If they are being evicted Wednesday, will they get a second chance?

AAAARGGGGHHH!!!!!!!

Anyway, this is a mess, and I have yet to speak to anyone (believe me I have asked) at NAR, my local Association, and anyone else who would venture a guess that knows anything about how this is going to take shape.

Which scares the Beatle Juice out of me.

Let’s make a toast and raise a glass, and hope someone, somewhere, knows something.

Based on popular demand - I give you the The 7 things Star Wars teaches us about Real Estate.

Enjoy.

1. Sometimes the little green guys with the big floppy ears know what they’re talking abou

The best part about being open to new ideas is you never know where they are going to come from. For instance, as a younger managing broker, should I not listen to those who have had different or more experiences than me. What I love is that usually, when I’m open to it, I continue to learn things from all kinds of people, of all ages, and backgrounds. We MUST be diverse in our perspective, or we will never grow. So next time you are wary of the age (or size) of the person offering you advice - listen. Their advice might be the difference between surving the market, and not.

2. Every Jedi Master was once a Padawan learner.

Whether you’re a rookie agent, or a 40 year veteran, we all started at the same place: newly licensed and waiting for that first deal. And no matter how far we’ve come, sometimes, some of us forget the journey we have taken. It is so important that as you grow you not only continue to become more successful, but understanding of those who have yet to have success. There is nothing more critical to the health of our industry to share - especially when times are slow. Have patience with the people seeking your help and you will be rewarded.


3. Don’t mess with a wookie, because they will tear your arms off if they lose.

As the leader of 55 agents there are times I see raw emotions take hold - after all, we are emotional people in an emotional business. Usually these episodes pass, and we share how silly it all was in the first place. BUT, every once in a while, there is a case when something goes VERY VERY wrong and tempers flare. Now, we are not seven foot tall wookies covered with brown hair and a crossbow on our backs, but, as emotional people we tend to say things that we can regret later. The best advice I can give any of us is the next time someone growls at you, STAY CALM. The more angry they get, the calmer you must get. You may not win the battle, but you will win what is most important - self control.


4. Don’t ever lose your light saber.

We work in a hard, harsh world. There are people, some angry and desperate people, who can deliver wrath upon a transaction like you have never seen. PROTECT YOURSELF and PROTECT YOUR CLIENTS. There is nothing wrong with defending yourself, or the people that have entrusted in you their most important financial transaction. So, before you feel like you can’t stand toe to toe with the scariest sith lord, remember: Fear turns to anger, anger turns to hate, and hate leads to the dark side. Don’t fear - be calm - and PROTECT!


5. Just like Princess Lea’s gold bikini - what we wear says it all.

I have a role. I am the branch vice president of an office representing tens of millions of dollars in revenue. And even though I am 34 and play my Playstation 3, if I came to work in jeans and a shirt that said slacker with my Redskins cap back words, would it matter? Damn right it would. I not only represent our clients, I represent the agents, and the company and my appearance matters. SO DOES YOURS. In an initial meeting, when you go to a listing appointment, are you dressed like the professional you are? Are you representing yourself to the world in a way that is indicative of your skill? My advice, take care of what you wear because it could be the difference to the business you get and the business you don’t.


6. Sith lords don’t always wear black or have lightening shooting out of there hands - sometimes they look like asset managers.

If there is anything I have learned about REO sales this last year is to stay vigilant. Now I’m not saying the banks Asset managers are evil - they are however overwhelmed. They are not trained real estate licensees, nor do they want to be. They don’t care about our rules, or how we do things. Unfortunately that leaves a great deal of responsibility on your shoulders. My advice? Be understanding, be patient, and keep your focus on the point that matters - getting the deal to close.

7. Don'T worry about what just happned, and focus on what's next. Win the Day!

Okay, last point. DO NOT DWELL! Promise me this. It is so important, no matter what happens: a deal blows up, a client yells - whatever - do not let the moment of the past, even the recent past, destroy all the good that you will do tomorrow! Why? Because we learn from everything we do, and in that is the journey that makes us special!

Trying to lead a group of people who look at you for answers can sometimes be a difficult proposition, especially when you know the law of averages means you will be wrong at least some of the time.

And just between you and me, I’m not always right (“Now he says the truth,” my wife says from the other room.).

But, have you ever noticed, that maybe one of the failures of our industry, is that leaders of real estate offices are not expected to be astute business builders, or growers of talent, but rather - that we are expected to pretend and play lawyers.

I don’t know about you, but every time I get a “broker” question I get little beads of sweat that form on my brow. And that’s when I know the answer! You should see me when I have to think about it!

When I was hired 2 years ago, I was asked to turn around a challenged office. I have worked hard running a business and helping agents grow into the sophisticated marketers and advocates they are. However, no one ever mentioned that pretending to be an attorney was part of the gig.

Now, in my case I am very lucky. I have an amazing affiliated business partner who is one of the best attorneys in town. He writes the GCAAR forms in many cases and has over 30 years experience and I trust him whole heartedly...but I know this kind of relationship is unique.

Most brokers do not have such an avenue to broker bliss. And that, my friends, is really scary.

The other day I called a broker from a very big firm to tell him the offer his agent sent to my office needed to be redone because it was not on the most current form. He actually yelled at me, saying a few things I can’t repeat. His point though was this, it’s just a form.

So what happened?

Well, I happen to care, he didn’t and his agent’s offer was not accepted. After all, being an advocate for our clients means more than just showing them a home they like, or driving them around...it’s about fighting to protect them when you know the other side is just wrong.

So the lesson of the day? Be the good guy, do what’s right, and be the advocate you get paid to be. Because if you don’t, you’re just pretending to be someone you shouldn’t.