Joe Pryor.com Realtor Oklahoma Investment Properties

I have now upgraded to the iPhone GS, and it is better becasue of the battery life and spped, but not a quantum leap. What still keeps me firmly in the Apple camp are the applications. Another, and there are many, essential applications is Google mobile. It is differnet than Google earth. On this you hit the microphone icon and it ask you to talk into a phone. Say an address and the map comes up and you can ask for directions. Want to know where the doctor's office is becasue you forgot? Speak their name and it tells you. The obvious advantage here is not having to do the normal Google search while you are driving. You can speak and watch the road at the same time. The best part is that it is free. Google mobile, don't leave home without it.

I know that marketing trainers always say that the rant is one of the many ways we can blog consistently, I think that sometimes the idea is misconstrued. Ranting about how bad other Realtors are in my opinion sometimes goes to far. So I want to talk about an experience I had in 1995, and thank you Judi Barrett of Idabel, Oklahoma for inspiring me in your blog today about telling AR something good that happened.

Here is the story. A close friend on mind said I have a referral for you, but you may not want it. I was naturally intrigued, and still young enough to think, I can handle anybody. He went on, you will be the 6th Realtor she has dealt with in the last five years if you accept. Oops, maybe I am not so young, but i thought what the heck, just do it so I did. Yes she was difficult. It seemed that no matter how good the houses were something was always wrong. Maybe the master was just 1 foot not width enough, or the kitchen cabinets were just too light of a version of honey walnut stain, but you get the picture. 20 houses later I was showing her a house that fit every criteria you could imagine, and the price was right. This time she brought her son for the first time. While she was ion the bathroom I engaged him in a conversation. What do you think of the house I asked? He said it didn't matter, she was never going to buy. He then told me that she had gotten a divorce 5 years ago, and he had been living at The Baptist Boys Ranch for the last five years until she found a house to buy, and in September he would be a senior in high school. I couldn't believe that this is was the truth so I asked him, no lie? He said yes and the look on his face told it all.

I waited until the next day to call her because instead of counting to ten, I needed to count to 1000 not to by angry, and it didn't work. Then I did something I had never done before or since, I fired her. But I went on a very intense rant. I told her that her son had been waiting for 5 years, that I could tell he was very sad, and I was tired of her making every excuse in the world regardless of how ridiculous not to buy. Then I said something I regretted after I hung up the phone. I told her that in less than a year her son was going to graduate, and if I was me in his place, I would leave and not come back, is this what you want for your family? I also told her to kiss off. She touched a nerve in me that left me completely unhinged. I stepped over the line. Yes I should fire her, but it was not my job to tell someone how to live their lives even if I don't agree.

Now for the coda and the "payoff." Three months later I had a referral check in my box from a Realtor in my office and I didn't have a referral agreement with her. It was not a Realtor I particularly cared about or was friends with, just another Realtor. She told me this story. I had this crazy women come into my open house, and since she knew we were in the same office she started ranting to this Realtor about what an ass I was and what I had said to her. But she ended up buying the house! I don't know if my rant helped or not but is unimportant now. After she was done I tried to return the referral check to her and said she didn't owe me anything because we had nothing in writing. She refused. She said that after the women finished her rant, and talked about all the houses they had looked at, she felt an obligation to do this. Then she hit me with something that stopped me in my tracks. She told me that as a teenager, her father had gone off with another woman and abandoned the family, and that was something even in her 60's at the time she never forgot.

My moral to the story is this. When it comes to clients and they have said or done something so awful in your mind, don't rant, try to have a conversation. And before you write off another Realtor as I did with that lady, understand that you don't know them, and they have a story to tell about their experiences and what got them there. Passing judgement is easy, trying to understand others, give them the benefit of the doubt, realizing that we are not perfect is much harder. I will never forget a referral check I never asked for, and I will never forget the lesson she taught me.

re

Let me set the scene. The year was 2005, and the market was cookin. I had had a successful career, but this was a year that was off the charts. I had hooked into a very large investor network and it seemed I couldn't keep up with the business. I was addicted. I finally knew what heroin felt like to an addict. It was never going to be enough, and I was up to the task, or so I thought. Then August came, and besides a record heat wave in Oklahoma City where no day was under 100 degrees, I had 20 days out of the month where i spent the whole day with investors in my care doing at least 250 miles per day. It didn't help that time was the biggest spike in gas prices, but my business was on fire, so why worry. In fact worry was all I did. I started having heart palpatations. I would wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks, but I figured that if i could get to 200 transactions if was worth the panic attacks, the cold sweats, and the 7 hours a day i was on the phone. My relationship with Charlene was strained but hey, that is the price of the American dream. Then it happened, I was the number one salesperson in my franchise for the state. I made it! Why was I not happy? I started to think about my favorite lyric from a song by Richard Thompson, (Clapton's favorite guitar player), called Tear Stained Letter, "Well my head was beating like a song from the Clash, it was writing checks that my body couldn't cash". I was in big trouble, and all the money was not going to solve it.

I have a confession. I have been going to a therapist for quite a few years. he is a PhD psychologist and a wonderful non-judgemental man. We all need someone be it a pastor, a trusted friend, but for me someone who I can talk to who is a professional. Kinda like using a good realtor to make a purchase of a home. I was in the middle of an hour long rant, sort of like some of the ones i see here complaining about how bad other realtors can be, or the government, or new regulations. i was on a role and couldn't stop. i finally took a breathe. and he had an opening so he said can i ask you a question? Sure Doctor what is it as I breathed liked a gerbil. When it comes to this business relationship, are you the driver, or are you being driven?

Thunderstruck. Have someone ever said something to you and are speechless, and you felt like Paul on the Damascus road? I think that is what you call an epiphany. I knew that in that moment all the rants, all the complaints, all the acting like a victim came into focus. We all fight for one important goal, to have a choice. Not just a choice, but the ability to create our own destiny. I learned in that session that one of the most powerful words in the English language is No. No is not a negaitive word if used properly. I knew I was driven, and that I would not be heatlhy in mind and body until I came to grips with my need and desire to be proactive.

So when you tell yourself, I have to do this no matter what, when you sacrifice your family time, your peace of mind, and your free time to something that you can't say no to, be careful. You may get your wish, and when your get that wish, you may find that the price tag you paid is way to high. If i could give anyone else advice they would listen to you is this, be the driver. Being driven can be hazardous to your health, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

So now it is 1 year plus 1 day. yesterday my post was an unplanned stream of consciousness story about a major event. It could have been a heart attack, or some other terrible disease. What is was, was cancer. It is strange to think that an organism that wants to live has to kill you in the process. Does that make sense? No, but me getting cancer didn't either. At some point we are all going to get some does of reality shoved down our throat, and at some point that body that started out as a baby is going to betray us. But that body possesses a conscious mind, and that mind contains a will, and that will says I want more. i want more achievement, hell i want more failure to overcome. I want to laugh, I want to cry. I want to make a fool of myself, wake up in the morning and figure out who I need to apologize to. I want more time, so how do i get it?

First, is to be open with your emotions, and to seek out your support group. For me that meant crying more in a short time than the rest of my life combined, and not feeling any less of a man. It also involves a person like Charlene who was willing to spend over three months with me in Houston. I didn't miss an appointment, not a meal, nor exercixe, yoga, acupunture, or whatever was needed. This is not something to try by yourself. It also involves a wider circle of firends, especially those who have been through the experience. I can't tell you how many people were praying for me and meditating for me, especially in the Realtor community. Realtors are naturally predisposed towards service and caring. You never understand the full extent of it until you are on the receiving end. Blogggers can rant all they want about how bad agents can be, but my experience is different, and my love for our community has grown. The most credit i give to my mother. The hardest part of cancer was telling her I had it. I never want anything that hard again. She sent me clippings daily about real estate and the economy. I still have many of them. She was 95 and she died after I finished my treatment. i was able to get home and see her in the hospital, so she would know that I was okay. I miss her.

I could tell you amazing stories about MD Anderson, digital medical records, and great Doctors. The most amazing experience for me was to have seven radiolgist in the same room with me discussing and finalizing my protocol. of all the times not to have a camera. But the best was the two lovely ladies you see in the picture with me. They were my angels who ran the radiation machine. The rooms are equiped with sound systems and you can bring your own CD's. With over 8000 tunes on my iPod I could make some great song sets. One day I brought in some Jump Music by Louis Jordan. They thought Choo Choo Ch'boogie was a cool song. I asked them have you heard of him. They said no. So I asked have you heard of Big Joe Turner, or Ruth Brown? No again. So this is how a 60 year old white guy taught the history of rhythm and blues to two 20 something African Americans. Talk about irony! When i would come in for my daily session they would ask me, what do you bring today. So Wicked Wilson, Don Covay, Ivory Joe Turner, and a whole lot more was played over the next few months. I left the CD's and said play these for the next folks. I don't miss the radiation, but I do miss our music lessons, and they loved the music. They helped keep my spirits up.

Now we pause for a commerical. My favorite songs that have the word breathe in them.

"Air that I breathe" by The Hollies. Try the KD Lang version too. "It's a fire" by Portishead. Weirdness elevated to art. "Beside You" by Van Morrison. If i could be any musician it would be Van. "Lady D'Arbanville" by Cat Stevens. The early years. "Breathe" by Pink Floyd. I take the 5th on this one. The Woodstock Generation understands that. "Every breathe I take" by Gene Pitney. I loved his voice, it could ache.

Finally, if you read my earlier post about one year later you know that i had an oral type cancer. There are no test like with prostate or colon. The symtoms can be confusing. You think you are getting colds because you are stressed or getting older. You think that the vocal changes are just a sign of lazy enunciation. Why am i getting more sore throats? Don't worry about being thought of as a hypocondriac. Get to the Doctor and don't wait 6 months like I did. The life you save may be your own. A year later I know that it will be 5 years before I am in the safe zone, but I don't fret or worry, nor do I think back on the pain I went through. I have received a new lease on life, and every day that I wake up breathing is a good day. Every day I can support someone who has cancer, or a triple bypass, or what ever it is is a good day. Every day I havedefeat problems, or sadness, or remember my blessings is a good day. Because not only can I say to myself, remember and be glad, but it is also a day breathing. Remember, if you are breathing still, you are the lucky ones. And say a prayer for those who were not so lucky. it could have been me, or you.

Has it been a year? Time is becoming very difficult to quantify. Has it gone fast or does it seem like forever? It started in January last year. I had gotten back from Inman News in New York totally pumped on blogging but very fatigued. Then the flu hit me or so I thought. I couldn't get out of bed for a week. Then something started to protrude out of my neck. I thought, this is weird, but maybe it is just an infections I wondered why I was getting so many colds and fever in the last three years, but i was 60 years old and isn;t this a part of the aging process? Then I spoke at an investor meeting in San Francisco in April and Charlene commented that I sounded very nasally. Having taken voice and speech lessons all my life not to sound like an Okie, I thought strange but we all have a dull nasal twang around here.

You know, guys can be pretty stupid. we want to prove that we are strong and that illness is nothing because were tough. Only wimps go to Doctors all the time, Besides I am riding bikes 15 miles a day. I'm strong! Then something inside me said it's been almost six months and this thing is still protruding, I guess i will go to the Doctor, and he will give me medicine and I will be just ducky. Instead he sent to an ENT Doc, and two biopsies later, no conclusion. This is getting stranger by the day. Then he said, we have to operate. So the operation was on Thursday, and the lump which turned out to be a lymph node bigger than a golf ball was sent into pathology. Then one year ago today at 3:00pm I was at the Doctors office figuring that nothing would be that big of a deal.

Then the Doctor looked at the chart and said this is the wrong chart. This is driving me crazy! He got the right chart and said, gee I thought it would be lymphoma. its squamous cell carcinoma. What's that Doctor? You have cancer. I didn't have time to call the Doctor an a--hole becasue I was passed out in a cold sweat, then I woke up crying saying to myself, this is it, I'm dead. The Doctor finally came back in and said I was in Stage 4 cancer and needed a PET scan immediately. Charlene immediately stepped up to him and 12 inches from his face said, don't worry about that, we will let MD Anderson in Houston do that. The doctor was pissed. How dare I not work with his downstream. Screw him, Charlene was taking me to MD Anderson.

Two weeks later, and two weeks of constant crying even on the way to the Oklahoma City airport, I landed in Houston. The next day i met my Doctors. In started with my main Doctor who had a sub-specialty of my cancer in the location it was in. He was great and had the can do attitude you need. Then it extended to the rest of the team. Let me tell you that in my experience the medical system is terribly broken and reform is essential. So don't even try to tell me that everything is okay, because it is not, I experienced that. But not at MD Anderson. Here the Doctors practice for the science, not for an extra 5000SF to their house. The next morning I had my PET scan at 7am but my main Doctor's appointment was not until 3. I had my first appointment with the radiologist at 11. i told them how nervouse I was because the PET would determine if I needed chemo in addition to surgery and radiation. he said don't worry I can pull it up now on our digital record keeping system. I said, won't my main Doc be mad? He said no, we are a team and we don't work that way. I had the comfort I needed, I think i can avoid chemo!

So I spent September through November in Houston with a short evacuation for Hurricane Ike, and in February of this year, I was told that all looked good. Now it is exactly one year later, and what was the worst day of my life, one year ago, has turned into a great day one year later. Yes I have side effects. I am losing teeth, my hearing in one ear is affected by the radiation, I have to do jaw exercises the rest of my life, and I use pharmaceutical fluoride every day but that is okay because the one side effect I wanted the most is still with me. It's called breathing. I don't want to tell you that I saw God, or Yahweh, or Allah, or Zoroaster for that matter, but I am so very different because unlike others who get cancer I am still breathing. So maybe i have found the meaning and essence of life. It is this for me, when you wake up in the morning, and you are breathing, please feel gratitude. Yes, for me it is that simple.

I decided to use the above picture because I want you to know about what cancer patients go through. I will blog again tomorrow about what you can do about oral cancers which are typically found too late, and what you can do to help people get through their ordeal. I promise you i will give you a happier picture tomorrow. because unlike so many, I am here breathing, living, loving, and posting to you, my friends at Active Rain, and my friends everywhere. Thank you for your prayers and support. Tomorrow, how you get through a difficult ordeal.