Karen Beck

The market has changed. Competition among existing listed homes was already rampant, and that was prior to the entry of low-dollar foreclosures. It seems almost unfair that foreclosed homes warrant so much attention, especially when many of these homes appear on the MLS system with minimal information and only one picture. So how do you compete in a market when foreclosures garner so much attention?

1. Take only one low resolution, skewed, blurred, poor quality picture. I'm not sure why this method works, but it does seem to bring out the bargain hunters. Maybe it's the mystique of not knowing what the house actually looks like, or in the case of the skewed house shot, perhaps buyers are motivated to look at homes which appear to be sliding down hills. We have this one foreclosure agent locally who actually stages weedy, overgrown bushes in front of foreclosed homes prior to taking pictures. Think that's whacked? You should see what this guy can do with a few strands of poison ivy!

2. Make sure to use the following key phrases: Sold AS-IS, No Warranty or Repairs. Special addenda apply, Buyer to verify all info: Savvy Buyers know these terms are actually encrypted codes which mean the exact opposite of what is stated. Sold AS-IS, No Warranty or Repairs means the house has absolutely no problems and doesn't require repairs. Special addenda apply means the owner is giving away toaster ovens and complete steak knife sets to Buyers who make knee-jerk, full-price offers. Buyer to verify all Info is a subliminal, psychic message which autoplays in your Buyer's brain every night after he's purchased that lemon, and it goes something like this: It's NOT the BANK'S fault. It's NOT YOUR fault. Sue your agent-Sue your agent-Sue your agent...

3. In the MLS field requiring "Owners Name," type in the mysterious term: "OWNER of RECORD". Oooh...the unknown Owner of Record..How Mysterious! Who is the hidden Owner of Record and why does he or she refuse to be identified? Buyers are driven into offer frenzy by the mysterious Owner of Record, assuming I suppose, that the mysterious Owner of Record is either Brad Pitt, who has finally extended his charity work to areas not affected by hurricane, overpopulation or famine, or it's Oprah Winfrey. Why Oprah? Well, why not? She's been known to extend charity to everyone else, so why not to bargain hunting buyers!

4. Handyman or Investor Special: The reason this works is obvious. Everyone in the known galaxy knows that if you can slap paint on the walls or unwind duct tape you're a certified master carpenter. Buyers feel bolstered, practically compelled, to purchase homes which "need a little work." The floors are sagging into the basement? No problem. Just prop them up with several evenly-spaced 12-foot ladders. Mold crawling up the walls? Just throw a little bleach on it, cover it with dark green paint, and watch television for the rest of your life wearing a respirator. Wiring ripped from receptacles to ceiling by previous disgruntled owners? Please don't be a fuddy-duddy, dear worrywort Realtor! That's why God invented extension cords and surge protectors! Yes, fellow agents, you have to love the novice handyman, especially when he insists on putting in offer after offer on houses on which no lender will lend!

I have a perfectly gorgeous little townhouse I'm getting ready to market, and I'll do everything I can to assure this beauty sells. The sellers are reasonable, the home is mint, staged to perfection and priced to sell. Still, I wonder: what would happen if I slapped it on the market like a poorly marketed falldown foreclosure?

With everything I put into marketing my properties, I guess that's one answer I'll never know.