Jennifer Marks

 A few days ago I woke up to find a large burst blister on my shoulder.  Honestly I didn't think much of it - I am klutz, it wasn't until the blister started to look like a used ashtray that I was concerned.   I went to the North Raleigh Walk in Clinic and was immediately seen.  It turns out I was bitten by a poisonous spider a small brown spider with pastel blue markings had done all this damage.

North Carolina is also the home of the Brown Recluse Spider & Black Widows.   The MO of a Brown Recluse is to numb the victim first and then bite -this explains why I don't remember being bit.  He showed me pictures of wounds & spiders and ultimately sent me to my dermatologist.  There is no avoiding what is becoming a poker chip sized scar.

Very well bandaged and worried about the impending scar,   I went to a friend's restaurant.   I needed some relaxation.  It's a decently busy neighborhood restaurant with tons of locals.    Waiters are taking orders and in the distance you can hear the shake of martini's being made.  A younger couple, I recognize but don't know by name were relaxing at corner table.  When the man just slumped over, it seemed like time started moving very slowly.  A man yelled Call 911.   I found myself talking to a 911 dispatcher as other patrons tried to wake up and evaluate the passed out man.  This man, 5 minutes earlier was laughing with his wife and listening to the waiter recite specials-- now he had not color in his face. Quickly, First Responders arrived -a fire truck and ambulance.  The man was talking and walking but still very pale ultimately taken to Wake Med North.  

Bad day - Yeah Right.   My spider bite is nothing compared to this man's evening or the obvious stress & worry his wife must now be enduring.   The next time you think you are having a bad day - relax and remember it could be worse.  If you see an EMT or other emergency professionals STOP shake their hand and says "THANKS".  Recognize them for jumping in no questions asked through to rescue us from our really bad days.

June 16^th 2009 my husband, Rusty and I will be married one whole year.

Many people have told us how tough marriage can be-No one told me that we would completely lose our minds once we said "I do". My parents have been married 38 years. This past Memorial Day my Mom told me that she could not be paid enough to live the first 10 years of her marriage once again. She said "If you expect to be happy everyday, all the time and agree always that you need to WAKE UP and be real."Overall we are happy and I look forward to spending a life time with my husband. But, like most we have hit a lot of pot holes and detours in our short road together.

Our biggest battle thus far has been buying a home; the money, getting a loan, picking a house - you name it we battled about it. It has been stressful on so many levels. Imagine being a newlywed and buying a home is our first "BIG" decision "TOGETHER". Add to that the stress of being the Realtor for my husband while trying to learn how to be a wife and my Husband is a first time home buyer with new wife that is a relatively new real estate agent. The kicker is both parties our well educated, vocal, opinionated(aka Control Freaks) -Oh by the way, money is generally a touchy subject for us.

Words like "needs a little work", "it's a good buy", "and the drive is not bad" are so subjective. My concept and his concept are so completely different. I took my husband to a home I thought he would love to only get as far as the driveway before he said "why would show me that?" At that point, I started previewing homes in advance. I actually prepared and submitted offers on numerous homes to retract 2 or 3 days later. Listening to and learning from my husband was the key. He was waiting for me to have a "WOW Love It" reaction and would get discouraged if I was less than enthusiastic.

Fights?-Yes Fights! About things we never thought we would ever disagree about, much less have in the first year of marriage.

Then it all hit me when, my Broker in Charge banned me from putting in another offer unless we were both ready and willing to go the distance. I was so wrapped up in emotions as a buyer and a wife that I was unaware I was attempting career suicide. My Broker in Charge said "you need to multi-task and separate being the agent from being the wife". She said to me "look at it from the outside" -"as an agent, would you keep yourself as clients"? "Would you tolerate buyers submitting and withdrawn offers only to withdrawn and continue?" My answer was an immediate NO! I wouldn't stand for the crazy, erratic behavior from buyers that fight every step of the way. I would have cut loose clients like that months ago. What I learned is that, my husband and I needed to separate my job from our emotions and home buying plans as couple.

I started using with phrases like "As your agent this is my thought.... "Or he would ask "As my Wife what do you think...". Once we realized we needed to differentiate things calmed down. Finally, we came up with an idea to individually score the houses. We ranked them individual desires. We didn't talk about our individual scores until the end of the day. If both of us did not score the house high - It was OUT, no questions. When we sat down, looking at the scores and talking about what was really important to us picking a house was simple.

I have learned so much about my husband, my marriage, myself and how to be a more effective agent. I am delighted to end Part 1 of my Newlywed Blog by saying we have went under contract (Yippee!) on our 1^st home together.

I will update everyone on the soon in Part 2 on the contract to closing process.

Until then enjoy your marriage

The End

Have you tried to search on Craig's List Raleigh lately?

The categories are a mess. The For Sale By Owner section is full of Brokers & Real Estate Ads. All sections seem to be filled with spam, duplicate ads or obviously mis categorized posts. I even found a woman seeking a roommate in the For Sale by Owner Section. There are homes for sale in the Broker Section that are under contract or just flat out not for sale.

If you are an Agent/Firm or Broker post your ad or postlet in the right category.

I am tired of calling a number labeled OWNER to find out its Real Estate Company. Clicking the link for more pictures and being directed right to an agent site. COME ON THAT'S BLANTANT MISUSE

I understand that a FSBO may re-use a virtual tour or slide show. If you are a broker -Be Real- Post your new listing in the Real Estate Broker Section - If you are a Broker selling your own home -- SAY SO--

I know the economy is tough and everyone is trying to save money. But don't be SHADY. Come on - Act Right. If a potential Buyer calls and finds out it's really a Broker - don't you think they will be "on guard". Don't you think that this enforces a negative perception of Real Estate Agents?

Craig's List is a great site. Online classifieds really are a great choice for the low budget or no budget. Many small business and individuals benefit legitimately from Craig's List. Stop taking advantage of this free service. The more messy and disorganized this site gets the less people will use it. - Eventually users will not be willing to dig through the mountain of junk.

$$$$ There are FINES for misuse of Craig's List!!! $$$$$$

I don't know about you but I don't have an extra $10,000 lying around.

In today's crazy economy -the savviest Realtors are choosing "out of the box" marketing tactics to blend with the traditional. Many have agents were forced to re-evaluate "how" they do business to stay "in" business. Clients need to save money just as much as brokers do.

Recently, I was shown how to print and burn my own CDs - I created a traditional sellers power point presentation (with music) and burned it -- The presentation is about 5 minutes long - Pretty much everyone has "no time" so this is a CD about my services - it's really quick and will answer a lot of your questions. This same basic blend of traditional with tech savvy can be applied to tons of other ideas. It gave potential clients the information at his finger tips and on his schedule.

What does your agent offer you? Have you heard the sales pitch before? Traditional print marketing doesn't work 100 % of the time and is expensive. If you want an answer to anything do you pick up the newspaper or do you "Ask Geeves". Over 80% of buyers & sellers use the internet to research. Thinking outside the box is the only way to stand out in the media rich world. Does your home stand out? Or does your neighbor home stand out more? The same old template real estate marketing is not longer cutting edge. I receive tons of real estate postcards and I see tons in the trash!

Buyers will not constantly search - they either find you or they will move on. It's my job make your home not just unforgettable but easy to find. Something simple like a CD ~ done right~ will not be tossed. It will become a keepsake passed around to friends or coworkers. Even a glossy flyer can be used as a poop scoop.

The catch is the content -A CD or internet marketing can't look like a home movie - or a random bunch of pictures. It still needs to be professional yet entertaining. Imagine Move in Day at your new home - wouldn't you love the pics burned on to a CD - on a CD with fun music and captions makes it as a keepsake-- I know my mom, dad & grandma would love one and would show it off!!

Think it through - When was the last time you threw out a CD- Paper & Print mail gets tossed sometimes before it is read. How is the any buyer going to find your home if they lose the flyer? No single marketing technique alone works -A print advertisement may be ignored if the user can't find more information independently. Buyers are more savvy they will not call you to get an answer they expect to get online.

Be Sure to ask your agent how they are blending print and internet marketing. Remeber Internet savvy is more than a website--Pretty much anyone can have a website -- the question should be who is using your website.