DID I MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE?

So I had a closing yesterday, that was supposed to close the day before. In this environment , it has happened to a lot of us. But the abnormal part was that it ever closed. In the last 15 years of my lending experience , I have had my share of difficult transactions and I always kind of knew if I was able to close a transaction. This one was unique, I looked at their credit profile when I got the referral and I told the clients it was going to be very difficult to get financing. They went somewhere else and started the process , only to find out it could not be done.
They called the Realtor again and asked for my phone number. My wonderful Realtor told them if it can be done , this lender will get it done(meaning me) So now we go back to the drawing board and I give them preapproval for a loan amount with a word of caution, that it is going to be rough.
We write multiple offers on multiple homes and I keep coming back to my original numbers which are all lower than what they insist upon buying . The buyers finally get an agreement on a FNMA property, and at a number that is higher by $20,000 than what my number was and $150 higher in real estate taxes.
Now the fun starts, I put the loan package together, and the Realtor tells me , the borrower is on disability leave but she is getting paid. The client never shared this with me. Everytime I ask for documents , she gives them to me after telling me that it is hard to get them and why am I asking for them. I need a letter explaining a judgement on her credit , which looks like from a rental management company for non-payment of rent which she had insisted did not belong to her. After 2 weeks of going back and forth with the credit bureaus , they come back that it is hers along with her mom's and it is on a house for not paying home owners association dues and the house is going into a foreclosure. I go back to her and ask her about this and she tells me that she is not on the mortgage or the title, ,I believe her again and fight with the credit bureaus , only to find out she is on the title .
We are doing a FHA loan , and now I have a previous home that is going into foreclosure , ratios are at 44%, there is job change 3 times within the last 29 months with 3 months of unemployment , and the down payment is not her savings but a result of insurance claim on the foreclosure home that belongs to her mom per her. Better still , we have student loans that are deffered only till septermber 1st of 2012, that means I have to close by September 15ht or we cannot close because we will have to count our loans against her debt and her ratios will climb to 72% .
So what do I do, per my underwriting team , I issue a committment and get it scheduled for the 15th at 2.00 pm, as we are still collecting conditions. At 11 a.m on sptember 15th, I find out that the underwriter is not going to sign off on this but my ops manager tells me , we will get the decision reversed. I leave my office and get working on the file again to see what we can do to change the underwriter's mind. While I am working on the file , I turn my phone off so I can concentrate, as I am getting calls from evrybody every 5 moniutes. Remember we still have not told the title company that we are not closing at 2.00p.m. At 4.00p.m. I finally get it all set and ask the attorney if we could dry close , meaning sign but not have the funds there , they say absolutely not.I give up and tell them that it is going to be done on friday now, and now again , since I don't have signatures I need to get the underwriters approval for 1 day extension on my student loans.

I get to work at 7.00 am on friday morning , and promptly send an apology to everybody for wasting their time on thursday and let them know that we will be informing them once we have everything squared away. I get a nasty response from the attorney , they will not do anything till they see the documents. I tell them that I understand. By 10.00 in the morning , we get all the paper-work sent , and inform the client how much money we need for the closing .
We finally close at 2.30 pm , and I get this nasty email from the attorney from her blackberry at 7.30p.m. , that she has never had a worse experience and we wasted her time on thursday and not answered her phones for two hours .I ask you , people who are in this battle everyday, that should I have spent my time updating everybody or even cancelled the transaction when the underwriter told me it is no go or worked on it so I could close it? I chose to close this transaction as I thought after spending so much effort and clients money and time , in my mind closing was the right decision, even though my customer service was not the best on thursday. I need to put this to bed so please tell me what would you have chosen?
