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We all have our own way that we deal with the death of a family member or friend. I have researched the internet trying to figure out if what I am feeling is right or is there a better way to get through it. There is no "right" way to grieve, we all go through the steps of the process. Lord, it is hard!
Today is the 3rd day since my Angel Girl passed away from old age. I woke up this morning and I didn't cry like I did the past couple of days. I got up and looked down at the foot of my bed, like I always did before, expecting to see her sleeping there or snoring but once again, the daily realization of her really being gone set in. As I made the walk to the kitchen, no footsteps followed me. It was a lonely walk to the coffee pot. As I made my way to the pantry to get the coffee grinds, she wasn't there to receive her two bone treats I always gave. We had a system, a morning routine.
I enjoyed my friend, my other "child". Mornings are my time alone. I always get up early and enjoy the quietness. She would always enjoy it with me. Now I am alone. I guess this is one of the steps of grieving, feeling alone.
My children and even our other pets are all taking it pretty hard. If you didn't know it, animals grieve also. I have to clean the eyes of our dogs and they have long, wet trails down their faces. Angel Girl taught them well. I believe she taught the biggest and loudest of our dogs how to take over before she passed. It's something to see her sitting on the same rug, like she has now taken the place of protector. We were all kind of shocked to see her sitting there. Taffy will also go rub yourself in the carpet where Angel laid, maybe to put her scent there. Who knows?
Last night I sat with my children and talked about death. One felt guilty because she laughed that day. The other felt guilty because she wasn't mourning like the others. My oldest put her feelings on paper. Like me, she knows how to write her feelings down. I told her that I would share it with others, if she didn't mind. She gave a small smile and said she would love that. So, here is my daughter's way of healing the death of her "Angie Baby".

On the wings of my Angel
by Erikka Agnew
Laying on the floor with my Angel in the morning of a new day,you want me to stay close so I promised I wouldn't go away.On the wings of my Angel...
You laid your paw in my hand trying to remain strongSo weak we both could hardly stand, we fell asleep hand in handThat's the last time I was with my Angel...yet againOn the wings of my Angel...
I saw her as she layed still, tears ran down out of my eyes as I saw her exhale.I began to realize I was still and always will be...On the wings of my "Guardian Angel"
***********************************************
My Angel
By Erikka Agnew
You protected me when I was weak,My Guardian Angelis what you will always be.My Angel...
Now soars with the many angels in the skyI will always remember our memoriesMy love for you, My Angel, will never die.My Angel...
Was one with the biggest and purest of heartsIf her love for her family had been a lightshe could save the world from the dark.My Angel...
A beautiful and loving girl, so playful when days were rightbut no longer of this world.My Angel...
We will miss you with everyday that goes by.Some days we will be happy but others we will cry.***********************************************Tears in my eyes
By Erikka Agnew
A girl so happywith every day that went by.These are my memories...Tears in my eyes...
I would go in the back yard with herand she would wag her fluffy, little tail.Our girl was always so happy,wasn't hard to tell.Tears in my eyes...
A bark of a protectorbut the playfulness of a puppy.Every moment I had with her,I look back and feel very lucky.Tears in my eyes...
I loved her so much,and will miss her with everyday that goes by.I will miss her being there and her touchI will have my days when I have memories and...Tears in my eyes.
**********************************************
A little collage of our Angel.







What is Warrior Week?
It is the 2nd annual Clarksville Montgomery County Warrior Week and it will take place April 19-25, 2009. This week long celebration is to honor and show our appreciation to our military soldiers and their families.
The schedule of events is:
Sunday, April 19th-Church Appreciation Services
April 20-25th-Dicount Week, Monday
April 20-Military Unit Shooting Competition
April 21st - Wounded Warrior Dinner Train
April 21st - Free Movie (TBD) Night
April 22 - City Wide Discounted Lunches
April 23 - Godfather Golf Invitational
April 25 - Picnic & Fun Fair at the Fairgrounds.
I am very honored to have been asked to sing the National Anthem on the 25th at the Fair Grounds.
Saturdays projected line up for entertainment will be as followed:
1:30 Thea Agnew - National Anthem
1:45 - Joel Brown
2:00 Alex and Tate
2:15 Jamie Worley Band - Contemporary Christian Music
2:45 Emily Sandy
3:00 Josh LaCount Band
3:30 Fatima McElveen
3:40 Madeline
4:10 Cle Music
4:30 O.A.T.H.
This is entertainment during our Picnic and Fun Fair for Warrior Week. This is strictly for military ID card holders and their dependents. The whole week of April 19-25 we are having different events. We have the winners of the Fort Campbell Rising Star Competition, and a wide variety of other local groups (teenage, Christian, etc.)
This will be a remarkable day as we celebrate and honor the commitment and sacrifices of Fort Campbell Soldiers and their Families.
Below you will see the map of how it will all be laid out.
For the last day of 2008, while my husband and teenage son were on the first row in the end zone watching Vanderbilt play against Boston College in the Music City Bowl, I took my teenage girls to a movie. We decided to watch Marley & Me in the Governors Square Mall off Wilma Rudolph Blvd. I had heard that the ending was sad, so I didn't really want to go see this one but we did.
I was pleasantly surprised by a crazy, insane dog that liked to tear up the house and eat the furniture, even the floor! It made me think, "This dog is special. Not all animals are like this." They got their ‘clearance puppy' as the next step after their marriage, instead of babies. It reminded me of my husband and I when we got married. Our first addition to the Agnew clan was Cocoa, a deer chihuahua. With long legs and big ears, she looked like a rat as a baby but grew into her own. She was so faithful and loyal but not very obedient, which led to her death. She was 8 years old. We had left on my Grandpa's tractor to go fishing, (this is in Alabama) and Cocoa was in the fenced-in yard but somehow got out to try and follow us (so we assume, we didn't see her). When we got back she was hiding in some bushes. We had thought she got hit by a car and took her to the Vet immediately. As we were waiting for the results of the x-rays, I was looking through her coat and saw teeth marks and that is when we realized she was attacked by a big dog, according to the markings. The Vet gave us some pain medicine for her but she died the next morning in our arms. It was very hard to let go of our first addition to our family. Because of my experience, I could associate with the characters and their feelings with their "baby".
Marley was spoiled and grew to be out of control or maybe not.
While I see a lot of articles supporting dog training because of this movie, I don't get it. I mean, I see an animal that has a heart and mind, kind of like a human but he isn't on two legs and speaking English. Think about it: if you bring home an animal and he is the only pet, then you have to go to work and keep him home, alone, during the day, what do you expect to happen? He just left his family of so many brothers and sisters. He had fun with others all day while he fed from his momma and got attention from the people that were trying to sell him. Not to mention all the people that came by and saw him everyday and thought he was the most adorable puppy.
So, you take home the adorable pet, and boy, can they be adorable as puppies! There's just one minor problem: He isn't use to being alone.
Now you might be thinking, ‘This is an animal. Animals don't think like humans.' But I am here to tell you, they do have feelings and they want the same thing that the human does...love.
I was raised, on and off, around my Grandparents. They had a chicken coop, pigeon coop, squirrels everywhere and loved having the doberman pincher. I have lived to see them go through at least 5 dobermans and 3 chihuahuas. They kept the dobermans for guard dogs outside and the Chihuahuas inside for companionship. (Did you know that the chihuahua helps humans get rid of asthma? Very true! My Grandpa had attacks so bad that he almost died a couple of times and then they bought a chihuahua because they heard it would help from their doctor. It did! He hasn't had an attack in over 40 years!) I learned a lot watching them with their animals. I learned that I would never want to be one of their pets. Some people just don't need animals period.
Tidbit: In the history of the dog, they were for companionship and some breeds used as a guard dog. They were also the first animal domisticated by humans.
Just like we cannot know the mind of another human but assume what is going on by their actions and facial expressions, we can do the same with our animals.
I have 5 dogs and 2 cats. (You wouldn't know that I had these animals when you walked in my home. I keep a clean and Pier One pumpkin spice smell as you walk in.) With our 5 dogs, they are loved and they have each other to entertain them when we aren't around. Just like Marley in the movie, whenever there is a bad storm coming or it is already here, the animals can't be in their bed, they have to be in ours or under it! They are frightened, just like we tend to be. They cry, not with the same sound but with the tears. They get sick and they show their love and loyalty when ever we get sick. If we are hurt, physically, they will come and sit by us. If they know something is wrong, which they have that sixth sense, they will be by your side or try to get your attention. In the movie, Marley knew when there was something bad happening 2 doors down. I think about the times whenever something is going on around my house. The animals will go berserk. Well, except for one time.
Whenever we have people over or family come to stay with us, they always make the comment that our animals are not "animals". They are like humans. They listen to us when we tell them to go out or come in. Even our cats! Now that is amazing to me. Bailey, our pretty yellow cat, will sometimes zip right past us when we let the animals out or come in. When he does and we want him back in, he can be on the other side of the fence when I call him and here he comes, running toward me like I am his momma. They all listen. Just like humans, they each have their own personality.
Our Shih Zhu, Buttons, is the mother hen. She has to clean everyone, including the cats! Cleaning their ears and face. She is an amazing dog, full of love and compassion for everyone. She senses or maybe sees what we can't and knows if you are here to do harm or good. All the animals are like that. The cats don't like it when other people come over. They will go and hide, well at least Bailey will. Fez will crawl in your lap, purring wanting you to love on him.
With our animals, we got our Chow Chow, Angel, because Art always wanted one. I am scared of big dogs but there was something about her. She is the one that reminded me of the older
years with Marley and is the one that we will have to see leaving us soon. She is 15 years old! We have had 15 great years with her, (she is turning 16 in June ‘09) but now she is old and in her ways; laying around, wanting to eat nothing but dog bones. Where once she was the vibrant dog chasing Art around the yard and house, nipping him on the calves, she is now taking it easy.
I won't say a lot about the movie to give it away but I am glad I saw it. I think anyone who has an animal needs to see this movie. You will see what a wonderful animal you have. Like John Grogan said, "...they don't care what clothes you wear, how much money you have, they just want to be loved and will love you in return." unconditionally.
Animals can't speak. They can't tell you they are having a bad day or that they don't want you to go because they are scared or because they will miss you. They tell you in ways of eating your blinds when you leave or eating something that you like because they are upset with you. I have gone through 3 sets of vertical blinds because of, Taffy, our corgy mx (to your left), missing us.
If we leave the house for a certain amount of time, she gets upset. The others just sleep and chill out but she is a lot like Marley in the movie. She once got upset with us for leaving the house for a couple of hours and got a bottle of Motrin off our piano, tore it open and ate all of the 80 pills! I didn't know which animal did it, so I had to take them all outside and induce vomiting with peroxide (according to my vet) and check if there were any pills to see which one did it. Well, there were no pills in any of the animals vomit, so the Vet said I would need to wait until that evening and who ever got sick, to look at the vomit and make sure there were no dark speckles. If so, that is blood and the animal would need to take the pill they gave me because they probably wouldn't make it through the night. Well, Taffy was the only one that got sick early in the morning but there wasn't any speckles in her vomit. That was over 2 years ago.
So, each one of our animals has their own personality, their own manners and their degree of love and loyalty. Seeing the movie Marley & Me will make you look at your pets differently when you get home. I will buy the movie for my Grandparents who think animals don't have feelings. I want you to go away from this post knowing that your pet loves you. You bought him/her or they were given to you, no matter how you acquired them, they will be loyal to you and love you if you treat them right. Sometimes they will be all the above even when all they know is a chain and doghouse out back.
I hope you will rent, buy or go see the movie. It will open your eyes to the love of an animal.
So, the question is, Do you have a ‘Clearance Puppy'? If so, tell me your story and share a picture of your animal! It doesn't have to be just a ‘puppy'!
If you like reading my posts and would like to read more, click here!
We all have lives outside of Real Estate and I seem to be blogging more about this part of my life on my local blog. I have touched 2 lives that have asked me to help them with their Real Estate needs because of my love for our dogs. Many more who don't need any help right now are those who are led to help me in my grief, now closure. So for you REALTORS out there who might want to take a quick break to read my story, wonderful. For those who don't have time, bless you and your business, no hard feelings here. So she is finally home. To read what followed up to this one, go here.
We were expecting her to whine or throw up on the LONG curvy roads that we were on for 4 hours! Nothing happened. She was as if she already knew us and was home with us where ever we were. She didn’t whine, she didn’t get car sick (even though Art and I were getting a little whoosy from those hills!). She was content in our laps and slept almost the whole way home. We made stops every 2 hours so she would be able to walk and use the bathroom and she attached herself to us right away. It was all so very….weird. She didn’t try to run off from us. She wanted to play with us.
Here, she wanted to eat the grass at one of the rest stops we were at. She has such a wonderful personality and looks like a little polar bear. When we got home to the house, we first introduced her to our front yard before bringing her inside and then she met the rest of our clan. There was no barking, growling or whining. They all welcomed her and left her alone like she has always been here. She did make a stand with our biggest dog, Taffy. Kind of shocking to hear her growl and Taffy backed down! It was like, woah. The only time we saw that was with Angel.When we came inside, there was a package waiting for us on the kitchen table. I was told we wouldn’t receive this package until May, so when I saw it on the table I just broke down and cried. When Angel
passed away, I got online and ordered a tomb stone for her grave. When we came inside with our new addition, it was like a finality with the tomb stone being here. I couldn’t help but break down and cry…again.
So, today was a day of closure for me. I know there will be days of crying still but today, in a bittersweet way, I feel I am to move on and enjoy this new life that God has blessed us with.
So, as I say goodnight, Lord I pray it won’t be a long night like with a new born, I am happy to see her running around and becoming tired to want to sleep between us all as if she belongs…Welcome home Gabbie!
Update: She didn't whine at all last night. She woke up at 1:30 and that was it! I woke up at 6 am with her on my pillow.
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