Terry Chenier

Several years ago I got really ambitious

and built a pond. Not your normal

pond, mind you. This sucker was

huge; running about 40 feet by 10 feet by 3 feet deep,

with a waterfall and arched bridge

and submerged lighting.

It was beautiful!

The next step was to introduce the

appropriate plants suitable to a pond.

And, Koi! Lots of koi. A thing I didn't know about

koi is that they grow in size to suit their environment.

In a few months, these things were huge

And they would eat out of my hand!

So they were like pets.

Then they started. The racoons!

As soon a darkness fell, two of these little buggers

would be paddling around the pond

terrorizing my koi!

And they weren't too subtle about it either!

I was advised by the local humane society to buy

a special trap. This is a spring-loaded

rectangular cage. And I was told to

bait it with a can of cat food.

(Apparently it works well).

The next morning, I awoke

to find the neighbour's cat in the cage, and was he pissed!

Several scratches later, I managed to release it.

Two different cats later, I changed the bait to a fresh egg.

I was told this would work as well.

That little trick

netted me my first opossum!

Now, I don't know if you've ever tried to remove a really mad

opossum from a cage, but ever time I approached

to try an open the cage, he would charge and hiss.

Finally, I donned heavy clothes and gloves,

and with the help of a very long pole

managed to open the cage.

He eventually sauntered

off, pausing every few

feet to turn and hiss at me.

Never did get those racoons, and eventually

they got all the koi. Still got the cage though

in case I ever decide to build

another pond.

After much speechifying and promises-anything to return to power,

(And it doesn't matter which party you

vote for),

it turns out to be ending up being business as usual!

Currently, the world is faced with the "Perfect Financial Storm", and,

from an outsider looking in at American politics, at any rate,

there finally appears to be a breath of fresh air on Capital Hill.

Every day in the news I watch these "public

servants" delaying important

bills and stimulous packages to ensure their fair

share of pork or special interests are included in any new legislation.

So much for bi-partisan politics!

We've got the same thing up here, believe me.

Budgets and other important legislation doesn't pass unless the oppostion parties play along.

(See previous blog on politics).

Most of our politicians are as predictable as our weather.

A couple, (in particular), dismiss anything out of hand without even looking at it.

The average Canadian is getting sick of it!

Watching our House of Commons in action during "Question Period",

one would think.................................................

they had tuned in to the............

I guess, one day, our elected politicians will get down to the job their supposed to be doing when........

On a recent trip to Hawaii, a diving buddy and myself

decided to do a shore dive, (That's where you walk in from the beach).

The plan was to do a "drift" dive; hovering a few feet

above the bottom and letting the current take

us on a trip.

Several species of sharks were evident everywhere and we

kept a respectful distance.

Then, the unthinkable happened, both of us had an equipment malfunction!

As I sat there collecting my wits, I decided we

had to surface and do a surface swim back to the beach.

When we did, the beach looked to be about 1000 miles away,

and in my mind, those benign sharks we had just been looking at, were

below us and looking like

THIS!

Now, I'm an experienced diver, but somehow I just couldn't

get the theme song from "Jaws" out of my head!

We inflated our vests and slowly swam on our backs

towards the beach, all the while,

theme song getting louder. DA-DUM, DA-DUM, DA-DUM!

Just then, a sight for sore eyes!

Several dolphins came very close

and decided to follow us. I knew sharks don't go anywhere near dolphins,

so we were fine.

We were done for the day with another dive

story under our belt.

So much for rental equipment!

I cannot remember a time when I did not have a moustache

in one form or another.

Moustaches run pretty much the whole gambit........

from the "pretend" moustache,

.....to the bizarre

.......and, everything in between.

An observation I have made, is that Canadians

seem to favour moustaches more than Americans..........

....and so do seals.

So lots of Canadians have them,

Noteable moustaches include:

now, these are good looking moustaches.....

Some moustaches evoke humour,

while others... terror!

Some very bad men wore moustaches......

noteably,

and some really great ones did too!

And, "That's the way it is".

Basketball. As American as ..........................................

Apple Pie!

Not really; basketball was invented by James

Naismith, a Canadian!

James Bond. As British as.......................

Sorry. The model for Bond was William Stephenson. Soldier, spymaster, the man called "Intrepid",

and, a Canadian!

The list of Canadian inventions is L-O-N-G!

Some of the more notable ones:

Snowmobile Canadarm Insulin

...........................O.K., forget poutine; bad example!

and, Poutine!

Canadians have invented over a million things in use every day;

most Canadians, can't name one!

With that, I'll put a zipper on it.

Oh yeh! We invented that one too!