Richard Barbee

Many of us value our role as parent but find little opportunity to really express our feelings. Life and business get in the way of directly speaking our love to our children. Few things are more powerful than the eye-to-eye, boldly stated "I value you. I love you. I want to spend time with you." from Mom or Dad to Son or Daughter.

I worked as a family therapist for 8 years before I entered real estate. I taught folks to solve problems using skills they already possessed. For instance, a skilled firefighter that struggled with depression could be encouraged to use his courage and tenacity to fight a metaphoric monster called "depression". Firefighters are highly organized, well-conditioned, and very brave. One may think that a person like that would not experience depression. But I found that many folks are highly compartmentalized with their skills.

A businessman that can sell even in the toughest economic times may have trouble selling the value of education to his son. A highly skilled accountant may have trouble teaching her children the value of money management. You get the point. Realtors are highly skilled in organizing paperwork, marketing properties, networking, serving customers, and so on. Yet, many of us struggled to use these skills in our role as parent.

Here are 5 ways to use your "Realtor" skills as a parent:

1. Interview your child - When we first view a home, most of us have a set of questions that we ask every seller. It is the same with buyers. Use your analytical skills to come up with a standard set of questions for your children. How well do you know your children? Without grilling or interrogating, how can you ask meaningful questions to better understand your child.

Interviewing is a technique to better understand a person. Employers use it. Therapists use it. Parents should use it also. There are several websites and books to educate parents on effective questions and ways to ask those questions.

2. Keep a file on your child - Most of us keep a file and/or a database with client notes, phone records, move-in dates, and so on. Do you have any kind of file or record on your child. It is easy to forget the date a child first road a bike without training wheels, ran for a touchdown or scored a soccer goal, or went out with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Keep a journal of your child's life, as well as your own. Take time to note your child's feelings, up-and-downs, disappointments, achievements, and thoughts.

You can offer this journal to them when they get married or have children of their own. Yes, it takes a few minutes a day. But you will remember your life and your child's development in a much deeper way. Love is shown in time invested.

3. Plan / Schedule time with your child - We schedule lunches and meetings to build business. We set dates and dinners with friends. Why would we not set special, consistent times with our child? Some may interpret this as too "business-like" or cold. But, it shows our priorities as parents and demonstrates real value for our child. With multiple children, schedule a special time for each child each week.

If I fail to plan, I plan to fail. This may apply most importantly to parenting. What is your parenting plan? Have you ever written down anything on this? Schedule time with your children for deliberate bonding, teaching, guiding, listening, and fun.

4. Give feedback to your child - Many of us have to give sellers and buyers difficult but helpful feedback on the condition of a property. We see it as a fiduciary function that shows we really care as a Realtor. What would prevent us from thinking the same way about a child.

We want to be a "friend" to our child. We want to feel close and warm and fuzzy with our child. But being a parent requires that we put aside friendliness at times and offer honest feedback and guidance in a loving way. We must take time to offer our child guidance and instruction. If your child is making poor decisions, offer your feelings in the form of "I feel that your decisions are...." or "When you choose (whatever), I feel....."

We must have a strong bond and good trust with our child in order to be able to offer honest feedback. The burden for developing this trust lies with us in large part.

5. Follow up with your child - I have noticed that many parents dote over their children during the child's first 2-3 years. When the child becomes able to participate in real conversations, we ask questions and explore the child's inner world. "How do you feel today?" "What are you thinking today?" "What do you want to do tomorrow?" We relate to our children.

If we learn that our child is trying something new or is concerned about a class in school, we have a tremendous opportunity to show our love by following up the next day, the next week, etc. If we have a client that expresses distress due to being laid off, most of us would ask (with each call or email) about the job status. We show the client that we remember their situation and that we care. Do we do the same with our children.

With a client, remembering a birthday or name communicates care and concern. With a child, remembering all the "small" events and challenges communicates love. Write your child a short, handwritten note to follow up on a previous conversation. Leave post-it-notes on their mirror. Send an encouraging email or text.

http://drivescore.fizber.com/how-it-doesnt-works.html

Drive Score is a very interesting site hosted by Fizber.com. This site allows a Realtor, buyer, or seller give detailed information regarding driving distances from a property to local businesses. Though not perfect, this site will help potential buyers know how far it is to the grocery store, hospital, pharmacy, school, etc.

This information can be used in many ways to enhance a listing or help a buyer make a choice.

http://www.walkscore.com/how-it-doesnt-work.shtml

Walk Score is a great site for more urban properties or for renters. This site offers information on public transportation, schools, and more. Those that walk or bike or scooter to work will love this.

There are so many sites like these. We can make use of these simple tools to set ourselves apart from the competition.

I have had to learn business networking from the ground up over the past 6 years. I spent most of my professional career as a licensed marriage and family therapist. This means that I spent the vast majority of my time in a small office.

I have joined BNI, the loca chamber of commerce, ToastMasters, ActiveRain, and much more over the past few years. I have thoroughly enjoyed the BNI experience. It was in BNI that I came across the book The 29% Solution by Dr. Ivan Misner (BNI's founder). This book offers a 52 point self-assessment for networking saavy and behavior.

Essentially, this book walks the reader through 52 different dimensions of business networking. You will be challenged and surprised by the ideas contained within.

I highly recommend it.

Are you in a weekly business networking group? If not, you are missing a grand opportunity to increase your referrals and sales. And, you are missing a lot of fun.

I meet weekly with my BNI chapter. In fact, I am now president of the chapter. With the philosophy of Givers Gain, I form relationships with professionals in other professions and help to build their business.

Networking is perhaps the most cost-efficient, effective form of marketing. Get out and meet people. Give them your card and ask for referrals or for their business. It's simple.

If anxiety leads you to neglect this lucrative habit, start slowly. Meet one person at a time by connecting through the chamber of commerce for lunch or by inviting a business person in your church for breakfast before services. It's easier than you may think.

What is your definition of justice?

Merriam-Webster (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/justice ) defines Justice as:

1 a: the maintenance or administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments b: judge c: the administration of law ; especially : the establishment or determination of rights according to the rules of law or equity2 a: the quality of being just, impartial, or fair b (1): the principle or ideal of just dealing or right action (2): conformity to this principle or ideal : righteousness c: the quality of conforming to law3: conformity to truth, fact, or reason : correctness

Justice has to do with our ideals, our values, our laws, truth, fact, and reason. Justice is not up for personal interpretation. It is tied to tradition and collective decision. Was Justice being done with slavery? Absolutely Not. Was Justice being done with Hitler's Final Solution? Absolutely Not. Was Justice being done when 19 young Muslims crashed into the Twin Towers? Absolutely Not.

Even within an entire culture, Justice may not be done. Is it Justice when Muslim women are forced to cover their entire body or avoid driving? Is it Justice when cruelty occurs?

But with this said, I am very concerned about the current dialogue occurring in this election season. The good and firm word Justice is being abused in the name of neo-socialism. What is neo-socialism? It is the philosophy that the government has the right to seize personal wealth / property in order to give it to others. This is called Justice within the secularized, leftist Democratic party. William Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, and Barack Obama believe that the poor are poor only becuase the "rich" have taken wealth and opportunity away from them. There is little or no focus on personal responsibility, decision-making, or behaivor.

If you achieve and acquire wealth, you are the enemy of the socialist. Or, are you their favorite target because they can garner the votes of the poor when they get your property.

Private ownership and personal responsibility are under attack. These are fundamentals of our representative republic. Be mindful.

Where do we put our energies? Do we work for weeks to develop a grand scheme? Do we act in the moment? The answer has to be both, right?

We need a strategy. We must take the 20-60 hours to develop a large vision for our business. It is important to take the time to think about the big picture. There is wisdom in reading, learning, consulting others, interviewing the successful, and seeking feedback. But this is only a part of the challenge.

We need to act. We act within the confines and direction of our grand scheme, but we ACT. If you do not work your plan, you work your demise. We may think of ourselves are free-wheeling, intuitional salesman that will always be successful. We may think that a strategy is not worth our time.

Those that over-value strategy can be rigid and non-responsive in the moment. They may fail to act. Those that over-value action can be impulsive and may minimize the importance of vision. If you are good at one and not the other, find ways to grow.

We must be adaptive, flexible, forward-thinking, holistic, and all-encompassing. Success is secured by Setting Strategy and Seizing Opportunities.