Richard Barbee

7 Ways to Manage the Stress of Moving

By: Richard Barbee, M.Ed., GRI, CRS

Broker with Realty Executives Associates

Change is always a challenge. Learning ways to change well is a major life skill. Each year brings a number of transitions at home, at work, in relationships, and so on. It is difficult to maintain balance when it seems that life is "happening to us". These 7 Ways to Manage the Stress of Moving may help you and your family survive and thrive in the selling and moving process.

1. Develop Healthful Habits - The most effective stress management technique is preventive in nature. Learning to build healthful behaviors into each day is a sure road to stability and balance. Resisting and avoiding the worst effects of stress is possible. Individuals that sleep 8 hours per day, eat nutritional foods during scheduled meals, relate openly and honestly to others, nurture their spirituality, and participate in exercise routines enable their body and mind to function more effectively during periods of stress and change.

This first principle cannot be overstated. Leading a balanced, positive lifestyle empowers the individual with confidence, reserve energy, mental focus, etc. The immune system is stronger. Brain chemicals come into balance. The body is rested and ready. Most of the work of stress management occurs BEFORE the stress event begins.

2. Maintain Supportive, Authentic Relationships - Healthy relationships give us a sense of stability, security, safety, and serenity. Love and belonging are powerful mechanisms to prevent and manage stress. We are not alone and need not be lonely. It is good and productive to relate. Big problems develop in secrecy, isolation, avoidance, and loneliness.

Authenticity regards the willingness and confidence to relate to others honestly and openly. This trait leads to meaningful, supportive relations with others. Authenticity attracts and encourages authenticity.

The word "drama" is used today to describe negative social events. If one has a friend that overreacts to many things, that friend is causes drama for everybody. If a loved one has an anger control problem, that loved one creates drama for the family. The way to avoid these stresses is to minimize the number of dramatic relationships and maximize the number of supportive, peaceful relationships. Moving and changing are much more difficult when our relationships are not working well.

3. Develop an Awareness of Your Stress-O-Meter - Believe it or not, many of us do not realize when we are feeling stressed. In our hurry-around days, we lose sensitivity and awareness of the state of our bodies and minds. Muscle tension, headaches, chronic colds, joint pain, inability to concentrate, anxiety sweats, feelings of physical weakness, irritability, and more are signs that we are stressed.

If you notice that you are stressed, it is easier to take steps to calm down such as deep breathing, closing eyes for 5 minutes, sitting in dark room for 10 minutes, lying down, taking a hot bath, or laughing. The ability to stop and relax is very important to managing stress. When we believe that we have the right and responsibility to take care of ourselves, we are more likely to do so.

4. Have "Family Night" or "Fun Night" BEFORE and AFTER moving - Taking time to be physically "away" from the packed boxes, paperwork, and visuals of change can lead to a terrific mental vacation from moving. Even if we simply go out for a quick bite, we get time away from the sight of moving. If a person feels that he/she doesn't have the time or freedom to get out for awhile, stress is increased greatly. The feeling is one of being trapped or imprisoned in the change.

Going out as a family or group of friends the night before a move and the night after a move can provide needed relief from stress. It reminds each person that the process of change is in control, that moving is not a monster. Seeing a movie or getting ice cream help us remember good things.

5. Play Relaxing or Fun Music While Packing and Carrying Boxes - It is possible to create a "party" in the midst of the pain. Laughing and dancing with family or friends while moving is a great dose of stress relief. Laughter has been shown to relieve pain, reduce blood pressure, improve overall mood, and restore energy. Be willing to be silly while moving.

When we get too serious or too focused, we lose enjoyment of life. It is especially important to find time for levity when we are in a time of exertion and change. Silliness and foolishness are underestimated in their power to relieve stress.

6. Take Scheduled Breaks Often - As you plan the process of moving, plan break times, break snacks, and break activities. If the weather is hot, use breaks to lie down in a quiet area to slow down the body and lower body temperature. If the weather is cold, use breaks to be aware of skin temperature.

Well-timed breaks provide us with chances to regroup and maintain stamina. Ask family or friends to stop by with food and drinks at some point during the day. Keep a well-supplied cooler or refrigerator stocked with drinks that contain vitamin B and electrolytes. Keep nutritious snacks nearby to sustain energy. When taking a break, take measures to lie down or stretch your muscles. A cool cloth on your neck or forehead will help maximize the benefits of a break.

7. Keep Your Body Hydrated - Water is essential to the functioning of the body. Numerous other chemicals such as potassium and electrolytes are lost during physical exertion. Dehydration is one reason that some folks overeat. The brain confuses the "thirst" signal with the "hunger" signal. Keeping the body hydrated is also an effective way to avoid overeating or eating junk food between meals. We tire far more quickly when we do not take in water.

Interviewing a Real Estate Agent - Part 1

Many homeowners feel overwhelmed when it is time to list their property for sale. Homeowners are flooded by a mountain of information about agents, companies, listing strategies, and more. With over 4,000 licensed real estate agents and numerous real estate companies in the Knoxville area, how can a homeowner choose an agent that is professional, represents strong ethical values, works diligently, has a track record of success, and is personable? I want to give you a way to make this process easier. This two-part article will help you develop skills for finding the agent that will treat you well and market your property effectively.

Interviewing a real estate agent can be thought of as hiring a sales representative for a home-based business (in that your home and its equity represent a major financial system for you). The initial goal in this process is to know for what you are looking. If we don't understand what characteristics define an exceptional real estate agent, the interview process will get off track. It is said that the three most important elements in buying real estate are Location, Location, and Location. Likewise, the three most important elements in choosing a great real estate agent are Expertise, Expertise, and Expertise. Let's take a closer look at these criteria.

First, Expertise in Ethics and Professionalism requires that an agent knows the source of her/his value system, is able to make a meaningful presentation of her/his own values, is well-versed in the NAR Code of Ethics, conducts self with diplomacy, and behaves consistently in line with her/his own states values (integrity). If someone will lie for you, they will lie to you. Character is a vital issue in all personal and professional conduct. Agents are required to complete primary ethical training for licensure but are able to pursue additional ethical training as a part of additional certifications. Don't be shy about asking your interviewee about these issues. Choosing an agent that is committed to the best practices standard may save you from a lot of stress in the process. As in any interview process, be willing to ask for personal and professional references. The agent that markets your house to the community represents you and your family.

Second, Expertise in Marketing requires that an agent is knowledgeable of the local housing market, skilled with personal marketing, trained in print marketing, and understanding of the importance of electronic (web-based) marketing. Knowledge of the local housing market can be subjective and prone to conjecture. Ask the agent for details, percentages, statistics, etc. If you know about personal marketing, you are familiar with the concept of Branding. Ask the agent to discuss her/his personal Brand and sense of professional identity.

I cannot overstate the importance of print marketing and electronic (web-based) marketing. Print marketing is a well-researched, clearly-defined science that can help or hurt marketing efforts. Well-designed flyers, well-taken photographs, well-written property descriptions, and well-placed advertisements can make huge differences in the selling process. Electronic marketing is vital, vital, vital! Cutting edge real estate agents utilize web-based newsletters, email flyers, extensive email databases, and customer contact software. If an agent is fearful or reluctant with the internet, her/his marketing efforts suffer greatly. Ask the agent about her/his website and the techniques s/he uses to generate traffic to the site.

Lastly, Expertise in Customer Service requires that an agent is able to develop rapport with clients, maintain solid relationships through authenticity and trust, return calls/emails in a timely fashion, and treat others with respect in all situations. Potential buyers of your property may be discouraged or turned off by an agent that offers poor customer service. Buyers and Buyers' Agents are encouraged to consider properties when the listing agent coordinates information well, offers details proactively, crafts a home information booklet/file, and writes an accurate and positive property description. When interviewing an agent, notice the ways in which s/he goes about making small talk, offers compliments that seem authentic, gives you a feeling that you are valuable and important, and prepares you with realistic and pragmatic information.

During the interview, ask yourself some simple questions. How did the agent answer the phone when you first called? Did the agent connect well with you during the call? Did the agent coordinate well with you to set up the interview? Did the agent show up on time for the listing interview? Was the agent underdressed or overdressed? In what condition is the agent's vehicle? Did the agent bring a professional presentation to the interview? Does the agent smile frequently and present a genuine personality? Would you invite this person over for a social event?

Some of these questions sound superficial. But, it is very important that you develop a clear impression of how you feel in the agent's presence. The way that you feel during the interview will correspond with the way that potential buyers and buyers' agents will feel during the selling process.

You are able to choose the right agent for you when you are equipped with a specific idea of what you want in an agent. Part 2 of this article will include detailed, specific questions for you to ask during the interview. Remember, you have the power when considering which agent to hire. Listing and selling your home is personal and sometimes unpredictable. Great care in the decision process will pay emotional and financial dividends in time. Check out www.richardbarbee.com for some additional ideas and tips.

Living Space

We spend our lives in places and spaces. Playgrounds, classrooms, worship centers, restaurants, and such serve as the background of memories and relationships. Of all the spaces we inhabit, our homes carry special and permanent significance. The romantic view is that home is an ideal locale in which we are loved, accepted, and valued. The cynical view is that home is a location in which people stop pretending for the public and show their true colors. The truth is somewhere in between.

We learn how to live at home. There are no more powerful teachers than our parents, siblings, and extended family. I am my family. You are your family. Some bristle against such a suggestion, but the family dynamics present in our families exert tremendous and pervasive influence on our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. For many, the home is a place to learn how to live, create, love, discuss, attempt, explore, and relax. For others, a house has been the setting to learn how to cover up, hide, escape, argue, yell, hit, pretend, and tense up.

To make a home a Living Space, we must inject life into the place. Life is that delicate and determined idea to experience reality openly and often. To live is to appreciate oneself, to value others, to feel deeply about relationships, to welcome the ever-present surge of the interesting. Children who are learning to live are wide-eyed, energetic, able to explore, curious, engaged, and playful. Laughter appears often on the faces of the built-up and the bold.

So, how do we disperse life into our homes? How do we make home a tender, safe place that is filled with meaningful, authentic relationships? How do we sow life into our home and create a Living Space? Here are 5 simple ideas.

1. Create a Memory Field - Many times, we display formal, dressed-up pictures around the house that only remind us of how much we hated to get dressed-up and pose with that hairdo, that dress, and that goofy grin. Pictures of fun times, holidays, vacations, and so on add a Memory Field around us. Like a mine field, these Memory Fields are planted in various places in the home (inside closets, in the garage, etc.) and supply a continuing source for smiles and warm feelings. We can use walls, countertops, tables, and the like to display memories.

2. Cause Guerilla Grins - In my home, we leave notes and voicemails that are guaranteed to lead to grins. We wage a guerilla campaign to leave each other written and spoken messages that communicate appreciation, thanks, thoughts, and comments. Thanking each other often, written and spoken, is a powerful method of building intimacy, peace, and support. It can be a game or a fun competition. Who can create the most smiles?

3. The Extra Mile - Others know that they are loved when we are willing to go the extra mile for them. One expression of this is to do another person's chores for them (as a surprise). The willingness to work a little harder at times in order to show love for another person is a sure way to inject life into a relationship. Parents can inspire great personality characteristics in children by teaming up with the children to do the other parent's chores as a secret gift. The children light up with smiles when the other parent thanks them for the gift.

4. Board Games - Families and friends benefit from playing board games. Assuming all members are moderately competitive and open to fun, board games provide opportunities for unique interactions, loads of laughs, and lifetime memories. Games help us drop our defenses and experience others in a fresh way. Taking the time to play games with children is a sure way to communicate that the children are valued and appreciated.

5. Hand-made Gifts - For each holiday, challenge each member of the family to give at least 1 hand-made gift. When we take the time and effort to create a present for another person, we offer a significant memory as well as a material gift. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and other holidays are easy opportunities to show our feelings for each other. We can teach giving and value for relationships to our children by helping them create gifts for others. And, please, don't just put a signature in a card. Write something personal and meaningful!

Life is to be lived. The end of life comes to quickly. There are simple ways to build a Living Space for ourselves and our families.

http://www.ci.knoxville.tn.us/

http://www.cityofknoxville.org/about/

http://www.knoxville.org/

Here are 3 links that provide helpful, relevant information on the Knoxville, TN area. If you are thinking about relocating to Knoxville, TN, please check these out.

I love Knoxville. There are so many actitivies, events, and opportunities here. We have mountains, lakes, education, plays, music, theme parks, and more. You can have dinner at Ruth's Chris, catch an IMAX movie, hike / fish / boat, and shop all in one day (if you've got that much energy).

Forbes magazine ranked Knoxville as #5 in the USA for business growth and quality of life.

Come join us.

http://www.forbes.com/lists/2007/1/07bestplaces_Knoxville-TN_2546.html

The above link will take you to Forbes magazine's ranking of Knoxville, TN as the #5 overall location for locating your business.

I am proud of Knoxville, TN. From the University of Tennessee to the Knoxville Zoo to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory, we are loaded with research, culture, education, and entertainment.

There are many chances to catch a sports event (hockey, basketball, football, baseball, and more). We have some of the finest fishing and boating areas in the South due to TVA's wonderful system of dams. We have access to the Great Smokey Mountains National Park with its great hiking and camping. We have Dollywood, a major national theme park. This only begins to describe this great area.

As for business growth and available land for business growth, Knoxville is top-notch. There is over $100 million dollars in new commercial development in the Technology Overlay between I-40 and Oak Ridge. There is plenty of land available for purchase or lease.

Knoxville is the place to consider for your business. Low cost-of-living expenses and great education combine with many other characteristics to create a wonderful place to live.