About Josephine County, OR

Late For Work Again!

For all of you employers and employees out there who have an absenteeism problem, I offer a simple solution.

You already know how agonizing it is, whichever side you are on - as an employee, you hate to go through the grilling procedure just because you've messed up again.

As an employer, you don't want to come down too hard and possibly lose a good employee, so what can you do?

Put the following list out to all of your personnel. Then, all the employee needs to do is call in and give the number of the excuse that fits the occasion and both parties will understand without the normal punching-and-ducking that goes with it. No more searching for plausible excuses, or stumbling over obvious lies, and getting tongue-tied because of trying to make the reason sound better, you end up talking too much and blowing the whole thing!

1. Overslept
2. Spouse Forgot to Wake Me
3. Food Poisoning
4. Babysitter didn't Show up
5. Bad Head Cold
6. Flu
7. Forgot to Iron My Clothes
8. Forgot the Schedule
9. Power went Out
10. Furnace Quit
11. Water Pipe Broke
12. Flat Tire
13. Spouse's Car Wouldn't Start; had to Take Him/Her to Work
14. Accident, Tied up in Traffic
15. Sick Relative
16. Funeral for Relative
17. Second Funeral for Same Relative
18. Best Friend's Wedding
19. Best Friend's Divorce
20. Family Reunion
21. Unknown Sickness
22. Hung Over
23. Aliens Took me to Their Ship for Study, but it was just "Catch and Release"
24. Had to Help Landlord Prevent an Eviction (by Paying my Rent)
25. Helping a Customer with a Problem
26. Company from Out-of-town
27. Kidnapped, but Escaped - Don't Pay the Ransom!
28. School Called - Child Sick - No Sitter
29. Just Not Feeling Up to it Today
30. My Production is Good, So Just Don't Bug Me
31. I Don't Really Care
32. Horoscope Said I Won't Make Any Money Today
33. Forgot to Reset My Clocks
34. I Thought We Changed the Schedule
35. Called In for Tax Audit
36. Parole Officer Called for Surprise Meeting
37. Breathalyzer In My Car Reached Out, Grabbed My Keys, and Handcuffed Me
38. Had a Fender Bender
39. Sprained My Ankle
40. Hurt My Back at Work Yesterday
41. Customer Called Me at Home and I Stopped to See Him
42. Giant Frog On the Road, and Swerving to Miss It I Hit a Deer
43. Spilled Coffee on My Clothes While Driving and Had to Return Home to Change
44. Forgot My Customer Information at Home and Had to Go Back for It
45. I Was On a Job Interview
46. Doctors Appointment I Forgot About
47. Popped Off a Crown and Had to Stop at Dentist
48. Reaction to Flu Shot
49. Had to Take Drug Test for New Employer
50. Dog Ate My Keys and I Had to Take Him to the Vet's Office

Adapt the list to your own company and you may just get your point across in a friendly and non-confrontational manner. I've done this before and work attendance improved dramatically because employees got to see their tardiness in a different light. Follow this up with some nice comments about how the company depends on everyone doing their share and people will appreciate your dilemma.

In a previous job where my salesperson's names were on a large scoreboard, each time someone was late during a given month, I would erase one letter of their name. If the name was gone by the end of the month, so were they. Jones and Smith were obviously my most punctual people, and Schwartzkopf was really a slacker!

Jaywalking Teachers

I don't know how many people watch Jay Leno's new show, but since the great Johnny Carson left us, I find myself oftentimes lazily watching and I keep seeing the Jaywalking segment where he interviews people on the street.

Has anyone else noticed how many young teachers that seem so ignorant of the history and current events of the United States?

Jay Leno shows a photo of a United States President and they can't identify them! A recent segment was the famous print of Washington crossing the Delaware and the teacher hadn't a clue who it was or what the occasion was.

I realize that the last six teachers I saw were all teaching the lower grades, but I hate to think how they received a teaching certificate without any basic knowledge of the country they're teaching in. Most of them were unable to identify our last two Vice-Presidents, Joe Biden and Dick Cheney.

When I grew up, a print of a portrait of George Washington was in every classroom.

Is it so different now?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I really wonder what is happening to our teaching United States history and current events to our current batch of students. If any teacher cannot identify a photo of our first President, then I am glad my children are grown, but I fear for my grandchildren.

Ladies Night Out at Shop River Rock in Grants Pass, Oregon!

It was a fabulous evening of music, wine, and tasty hor'dourves at Shop River Rock in Grants Pass, Oregon this evening. The 8th Annual event, sponsored and hosted by Hellgate Excursions owner Robert Hamlin, was an opportunity for "Ladies Only" to enjoy a night out on the town. Staff was dressed in tuxedo style vests, serving champagne, wine, and yummy hor'dourves throughout the evening. 25% of all tickets purchased for the event were donated to the Oregon Army National Guard Food Bank. The Grants Pass event is by invitation only and sold out again this year! Thanks Robert, for a fabulous evening!

Cheater Cheater - Pumpkin Eater. Ever since I started blogging, I have begun looking at every thing in a different light. I am forever in search of new blogging material and always thinking to myself, "I should blog about that!" You may call it Blogging OCD (I know many of you share my disease), but whatever the case, it makes me smile and it lends for a daily dose of fun and laughter. Today, is one of those days!

At approximately 10:30 pm last night, I was blogging on Active Rain when I received an interesting text message on my cell phone from a number I didn't recognize. The message read;

"Jill - When you get back to the hotel, send more naughty text pics as I'll be at the office late into the evening... I'll reciprocate..."

Oh my my... My initial response was, Who's Jill? Then I thought, Why do they have my cell phone number? At that point, my curiosity was piqued! I decided to Google the phone number and up popped a picture of Mr. XYZ (let's just say, he'll remain anonymous for now). The biggest surprise is... He's a Realtor in another state! A complete stranger to me, but none the less, a fellow colleague.

What I did next, surprised the heck out of me. I sent him a text message back (no naughty pics included) and said; "Mr. XYZ (I used his first name), does your wife know about the naughtly text pics?" OMG, I couldn't believe I just said that. I suppose I was in rare form for the evening!

But, to my greater surprise, Mr. XYZ texted back a message saying; "Jill is my wife..." I thought, hhmm, an innocent exchange of naughty pics between spouses on a school night, okay. I logged off AR and went to bed. When I woke up this morning, I was thinking about Mr. XYZ's answer. As innocent as it may appear, I still didn't understand how he accidentally texted me instead of his wife. Think about this for a second, most of our family member's phone numbers are saved in our cell phones alphabetically. If that is true, then the letter J isn't even close to M alphabetically. Unless of course, Mr. XYZ has a pet name for his wife labeled "Meow" on his phone. But that still doesn't explain how he got my number.

So, I did the unthinkable, I sent Mr. XYZ another text this morning and said; "If that were true, your wife's phone # would be saved on your cell phone, so you wouldn't "accidentally" be texting me. Very entertaining though!" Low and behold, another text arrived from Mr. XYZ that read, "It is saved as part of a database real estate profs on my phone! Huge botch. Sorry."

So, the plot thickens and the mystery remains. How did Mr. XYZ "accidentally" text me instead of his wife? Perhaps a simple faux paus, or a HUGE BOTCH, as he called it. Is Mr. XYZ a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her? Perhaps.

A note of thanks to Mr. XYZ for providing a good laugh and some blogging material. I hope you were able to find your way to the office without your moral compass!

Best Seafood - Grants Pass, Oregon

 When it comes to the Best Seafood, The Laughing Clam on "G" Street in old-town Grants Pass is a nice surprise!

This old building has been here since the 1800's.  It was originally a cigar factory.

 You can see the cigar molds hanging on the wall.

Then, in the early 1900's it became a saloon.

The custom back bar is still here, being brought around Cape Horn all the way to its' new home.  What an undertaking that must have been.

At one point the building was made into an ice cream parlor and then it became a bar again.

In 1996, it became The Laughing Clam.

The lady who named it, took the name from her favorite restaurant from her childhood on the Oregon coast.  When it closed, she took the name so the fortune of good memories would transport to its' new home in Grants Pass.

Oh, I almost forgot, the atmosphere makes one forget about what you're there for.  The food is great and they have the Best Seafood in Grants Pass!  The Laughing Clam has a varied menu of seafood, burgers and sandwiches.  They also offer a wide selection of salads, sides and "specials."

They have a full-service bar that also offers hand-crafted beer, and on weekend evenings, you'll be treated to live music.

Try the Halibut Fish and Chips, and lounge against the full length brick wall across from the magnificent bar that rivals any in the West!

Stop in at The Laughing Clam for the Best Seafood we've found in Grants Pass.