I spend a great deal of time and energy trying to keep my attitude positive. Not just by saying peppy things, or making jokes, or even trying to help my clients see the humorous side of the transaction. I make a sincere and conscious effort every morning to try to find the best side of things, look for silver linings in the recent spate of dark clouds and believe in myself and the world. I have found a few things that make it tough, and I want to share them so I don't forget them! Also, maybe some of you will glean some benefit from them, and I hope maybe I can brighten at least one person's day.
1. Turn off the news. The newscaster is lying to you. He did not witness the events, and is reading copy written by someone who did not witness the events. Therefore your information is thirdhand at best, which means that it is pure speculation. If you really want news, read it in an article. Often the articles are written by people who are actually in the middle of the story, and are much more accurate. Finally, it is also much easier to spot lies when they are in print.
This one comes up a lot in our family, because my wife's parents are actual news junkies. Not a big deal to me, as it is certainly better than gambling or heroin, but since they watch my 5 year old son I feel like I must take issue with it. My attitude is that they are free to poison their own minds with that crap, but not my son's mind. If they don't want to watch him, they can let us know. Until then, leave the news off while my boy is around.
2. Walk away from negativity. Let me first say that I have yet to change anyone. In fact, I have yet to be changed by anyone except my son, despite my wife's firm and continual efforts. Third, I do not want to change anyone, believing that it is their right to be happy or miserable depending on circumstance and inclination. So, rather than try to change a negative person into a positive person, I walk away from the situation when it becomes too negative. I am polite, and finish my business first. I certainly don't let a little negativity scare me away from doing the best thing for my client, but if I can avoid a negative person I will gladly walk to the other side of the street. Let's face it, I need the exercise anyway.
I think of this because I recently heard from a former client, which is not a term I use often. I was approached as a buyers agent for a home, and thought about our prior transaction before committing to her. See, I have this funny ethical streak that forces me to commit totally to my clients. No half measures, no avoidance, no fudging things so I get paid quicker. Total commitment regardless of how I may be affected by their actions. I have to do what is best for them. That being said, I realized that I could not do that for this woman again. In our prior transaction she lied to me several times, attempted continually to negotiate my commission down in spite of the extra work I did and was totally unresponsive to my calls while expecting me to field her calls at all hours of the day and night. I regretfully informed her that I would not be able to help her and referred her to another agent. I didn't even ask for a referral fee, as I knew she would be a nightmare and did not want to be involved in any way. Even though it may have cost me a transaction, I know that I can give my current clients the representation they deserve because I don't have a lead weight dragging me into negativeland.
3. Turn off the computer. Really, I love blogging, but we are in a people business. Schedule your computer time, and when that time is over get up and walk away. Go out and be among people. People are meant to be social, and internet social sites are not the same thing. Now I loves me some Facebook, but I find it a poor substitute for real conversation about a meaningful subject.
I did have an example, but I think I'm going to take my own advice and turn my computer off. I hope this helps some of you destress a little, enjoy things more and go talk to some folks. That will do more to change the world than $700,000,000,000.
