Burien, WA

Having sold plenty of items in my life, I am aware that pointing out an item's faults, whether that item is a car, a house, a piece of furniture, etc, is a tried and true negotiating tool used for the purpose of diminishing the value in the eyes of a seller and ultimately bringing the asking price down.

However, there is a fine line between having a courteous and honest discussion about a property's condition and being so obnoxious as to back the seller into a corner to where they feel so "broken" that they must acquiesce against their will.

An example - several years ago when I was living in Phoenix I had my car for sale for $1,000. A guy from the neighborhood made an appointment to see the car, came over, and proceeded to bad-mouth every single aspect of my car. I had kept it impeccably maintained, and I knew it was a good car for the price. Yet this person made me feel so bad, basically saying it was such a crappy car that I would be lucky to get $700 for it. Then he said he wanted it for $700. I reluctantly said "Okay"; inside, I was perplexed because he had just finished telling me in not-so-nice terms that my car was a P.O.S. He arranged to come by in the morning with the cash.

Later on that afternoon, as I was sitting on the porch, this other guy is walking down the street and sees my "For Sale" sign on the car. He stops and talks to me, looks under the hood for a few minutes and says, "This car looks pretty good-no air conditioning for Arizona but I can deal with that, how much do you want for it?" I told him I was asking $1,000 but that I would take $950. He says, "We've got a deal! I'll go get my money". He was back within an hour, we did the paperwork and he took off in his new car.

Guess who's not a happy camper the next morning? The mean guy pounding on my door with $700 asking where his car is. I looked at him and said, "I'm sorry but someone offered me more. Besides, with all of the 'problems' my car had, I'm surprised you still wanted it".

Now, I am expecting to get blasted for that story, because I did not keep my word with the first guy. But to be honest, if the second guy had offered me $700 I would have sold it to him instead because he treated my little car and I with respect.

There's a right way and a wrong way to negotiate. I appreciate that the idea is to not exude any emotional attachment to an item. However, if your idea of negotiating is using a belittling tone and going over the top with disparaging comments about the item you are wanting to purchase, the only thing you will accomplish is to tick me off and make me not want to sell it to you.

When I was selling my business a few years ago, the best thing the selling agent said to me was, "I know you want x, but it's just not worth that much". He said it in an honest, caring tone and he was right. We came back down to reality, sold the business and never looked back. If he would've started bashing the very business that we had worked so hard to create, I would've chosen any alternative to selling it to his buyers. But then that's just me, I'm stubborn that way.

In December, as I was transfering information from my old (paper!) planner to my new one, I noticed something that I hadn't laid eyes on in a year: my list of goals for 2009. My first thought was, "What's it doing here, in the very back page of my planner?" Then I thought to myself that it would have been nice to have been able to go back to this periodically throughout the year to see how I was doing and to make sure none of the goals that I wanted to achieve got lost along the way.

So, it's February 2010 and I'm cleaning off my desk, and what do I find under one of my files? My goals for 2010. The 3 loose pages were a heartbeat away from being crammed into the Bookshelf of Obsolete Files.

I'm revisiting the goals I set last month right now. So far I'm actually doing a pretty good job of staying on track for the Personal, Financial and Business goals that I set for myself. However, I do see that one goal has already fallen by the wayside - I am supposed to be studying my Japanese so that I can take the Japanese Proficiency Exam(Level 2) in November. This is a goal that I had abandoned about 10 years ago, but I have a new desire to accomplish this for myself.

I am going to post these on the bulletin board that's right in front of my face so that they don't get lost again!!

Did you shop at a major retailer this holiday season? If so, this dialogue will probably ring a bell for you:

You are at the cash stand...

Sales associate: Good day. Did you find everything all right?

You: Yes, I did, thank you.

Sales associate: May I have your phone number please?

You: (???) Uh...sure, its xxx.

Sales associate: And your e-mail address?

You: Why?

Sales associate: So that we can put you on our list to receive our latest updates and coupons.

You: No thanks!

Sales associate: All right. (Starts ringing items. At this point sales associate points out small-purchase items at the cash stand in an effort to raise the items per transaction). Would you be interested in (random useless item)? It's only 99 cents.

You: No thank you.

Sales associate: Would you like to save x percent and earn x amount of points by opening our _____ perks/rewards/club card?

You: Is it a credit card?

Sales associate(if honest): Yes, it is a credit card; (if unscrupulous, or directed by an unscrupulous manager): It's just a store card.

You: A store card is a credit card, right?

Evasive Sales associate: It's an in-store rewards card(hands you the application and a pen).

Suddenly buying those tennis shoes or coffee mugs seems like more trouble than it was worth. When did shopping become so laborious and filled with potential financial pitfalls and land mines? In retailers' push to maximize profits they are doing a great job of alienating customers and creating lots of bad will. Maximizing profits can be done hand-in-hand with creating and maintaining good will. Small business owners usually have that down pat.

This all comes at a great point in time for me, however. I am dedicated to getting my financial house in order this year. I won't be swayed by impulse buys or "store rewards cards". I'll think twice about shopping at an establishment that's less than ethical. I'll make more of an effort to shop the small, individual businesses so that they can continue to thrive. Maybe the sales are better at the mall. But if you leave there with 5 extra $.99 tchotchkes, a new credit card with 29.99% interest and a bent side mirror did you really save that much?

Coupon Sherpa's blog post "9 Ways To Save On A Move", is a great reference for those of you who are planning to make a move soon. I can especially relate to tip #8, which is to Dump Some Junk.

How many of us have items, boxes and trunks full of stuff and jettisoned furniture that sit in storage(either at home or-gasp-at a storage unit that must be paid for month-to-month)? And upon moving, how many of us bring all of that unused stuff with us to our next location only to store it away again?

I personally know people who pay over 4 figures a month to keep stuff stored. Stuff they never see or use. I think that this is hands down the best tip in the article. Sell it, give it away,invite it back into your home, whatever...but if you don't use it, you don't have to take it with you. It'll save you time and money in the end.

While you're on Wise Bread, check out their other excellent articles, you may want to bookmark the site as well. It's a wealth of information for those looking to reevaluate their relationship with money, and save some money as well.

Julie Rains over at Wise Bread has written an excellent article entitled, "What It Really Costs To Own A Home". It's a great run-down of all(or most) of the costs of homeownership.

Now, of course I'm all for investing in a home, but the real costs of ownership cannot be ignored, and need to be given serious consideration when buying a home.

However, there's much to be said for the intangible benefits that draw people to buy a home in the first place. The main point of the article is to make sure you set aside enough money every month so that you can eventually deal with the maintenance issues that are bound to pop up.

Enjoy!

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